Letters
by turnonmy-charm
Summary: Martha was always the one that was never noticed, that was until Nixon arrived. Nixon/OC.
1. Prologue

_I've been thinking of this story for quite a long time, ever since I started my other story. Hopefully I'm not making a huge mistake in uploading this already. The chapters will vary in length but hopefully they won't be too short. Also some things I am making up, due to not knowing what actually happens. You can only get so much from the series and the book. Hope you enjoy! Please review if you have time._

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The cold September air brushed past her face gently, giving her a comfortable breeze. The sun was raised high the sky, but not beaming as much as it did in the past month. The leaves on trees were turning crisper and less green, signalling that autumn was well and truly here. She smiled as she walked through the little village. Autumn was one of her favourite times, well at least when it didn't rain. She didn't like rain for the obvious reasons. It was cold, wet and generally undesirable.

All in all it was a normal September morning. Well it would be if it wasn't for one thing, the soldiers. A couple of days before they had arrived, but only now were they walking about the village. They were American and she had heard that they had been briefed about the British customs.

_Huh, _She huffed; _they couldn't be that different could they? _

They all spoke the same language after all. She half smiled at them as they walked past. It Wednesday and she had nothing to do. So instead she was going to go down to the post office and get some stamps. She was going to write a letter for her brother, Edward, who had only just replied to her letter that she had sent three weeks ago. She couldn't blame him of course; he was out defending the world. She couldn't be more proud of him.

"Martha," A female voice said behind her, "Martha! How are you?"

Martha turned to look at her friend, Helen. Helen was an excitable person, a person Martha would often compare to a child. Helen had long blonde hair, falling past her shoulders. She had a lovely figure that caught most of the men's eyes. Her blue eyes captured the interest of anybody, and her lovely personality reeled everyone in.

"I'm fine," Martha answered with a smile, "What about yourself?"

"I'm perfect, William wrote to me yesterday," Helen said with a blush and a grin, "He says he's doing fine although he is missing me a lot. It was lovely to hear from him, although it did make me a bit weepy." Helen said with a wide grin, "I miss him so much but I'm proud of him too. I just can't wait until he's back and we can start making a family. He told me he can't wait either. How did I end up with such a wonderful man?"

"I have no idea but I'm happy you did." Martha said with a small smile.

She loved Helen to pieces but she could ramble on for England. She also cared for William a lot but hearing about him for hours on end was starting to get on her nerves but she couldn't complain. That would be rude. Although sometimes she did wish she could talk about Edward sometimes but it seemed there was never time when Helen was around.

"What have you heard about those new soldiers than?" Martha said quickly taking the conversation in a different direction.

"Oh, well you know they're American of course, "Helen said with a nod, "Well apparently they've been told to behave themselves around here. That didn't stop one of them trying to flirt with me though." Helen said with a slight smile.

"They did not!" Martha said with a shocked tone, "Did you get his name? What did you tell him?"

"He said his name was Bill Guarnere and I told him I was married."

"And then?"

"And then he said, 'That's a real shame...how about one kiss for a broken heart?'."

Martha giggled out loud, "Then?"

"Then I gave him a peck on the cheek and told him that was all he was getting." Helen said with a slight blush.

"You kissed him on the cheek? What would William say?"

"It was only a kiss on the cheek, it meant nothing. I love William with all my heart." Helen said nodding her head firmly.

Martha giggled once more and grinned at her friend. Trust Helen to do something like that. She was always a bit of a flirt but Martha knew she would never betray William. She also knew it was typical for a soldier to flirt with her. Martha couldn't blame him though Helen was a very beautiful woman. Just sometimes though, she wished she had some attention. She wasn't the most beautiful person but she wasn't too bad. Her eyes were a murky green though, and her brown hair was quite plain and boring. Martha shook her head slightly. She shouldn't think so negatively sometimes. She looked up and saw a couple of soldiers walking about, obviously it being a free hour or something. They looked to be in a conversation, a fun one. They were both smiling, obviously good friends. She studied them as Helen talked about something, most likely William, in her ear. One of them was taller than the other, lanky built but muscles showed through the uniform. From what Martha could see, his hair was a bright shade of red and his eyes looked to be blue. The other one captured her attention more. He was slightly shorter than the other, with black hair and dark eyes. He was slightly stockier than the other but it was his smile that captured her.

It was wide and teeth bearing, completely charming in some way. Stubble covered his jaw and his eyes twinkled in amusement. Suddenly he looked over at her and locked eyes. Martha froze, not able to turn away. He grinned at her, making her cheeks turn a deep crimson. She turned away, utterly embarrassed.

"What do you think Martha?" Helen asked, looking at her.

"Oh...yes definitely." Martha hoped that was the right answer.

"Wonderful, so we'll go down to the pub tonight with Fred and James. I must be off. Goodbye Martha." Helen said walking away before Martha could protest.

Martha sighed in defeat. Now she would have to go and pretend to have a good time tonight when all she wanted to do was work on her letter.

"Bloody, Helen." Martha muttered but she soon shook her head.

No she shouldn't blame Helen. Helen was only trying to help her socialise. It had seemed ever since Helen had gotten married, she had been on a mission to find Martha a man. Even though Martha had protested Helen didn't take no for an answer.

Martha rolled her eyes slightly. It was so like her friend to do that. Although all Martha could think about at that moment was the American soldier who had smiled at her.

She blushed again. Maybe her prayers had been answered. Someone had noticed her for once.

Thank god for small miracles.

----


	2. Sibling Letters

_OhEmGeee, quickest update ever! I'm really in to writing this story! Whoop. Thanking to captain ty for reviewing, it was lovely._

_I own nothing of Band of Brothers but I probably own all the characters you don't recognise._

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Martha felt a sense of warmth when she arrived back home. Her mother was cooking in the kitchen, a vegetable soup she was sure, and her father was sitting in the living room reading a paper. In his own words, he had already served in one war 'He bloody hell wasn't going to get back in that hell again'. Her father looked up at her as she walked through the door.

"You were out for a long time poppet." Her father said sucking casually on his pipe.

"I know, Helen stopped and chatted to me."

"Ah," Her father said with a smile, "Say no more."

"Got the things you wanted to Martha?" Her mother asked from the kitchen.

"Yes Mum, I got the stamps and some more paper." Martha said taking of her coat.

"Good, good. Lunch will be about half an hour dear." Her mother said with a weary smile.

Martha nodded and made her way upstairs to her bedroom, where she sat at the desk and placed her things down. As quick as flash everything was laid out and she was ready to start planning her letter, her _best _fountain pen grasped loosely in her hand. She wrote her letters like an author wrote a novel. She planned out things first, a worked on for hours at a time. She wanted to make sure it was absolutely perfect before she sent it out.

Martha breathed in slowly and began to write her mock letter. It would take her hours until she was finished, she wanted to make sure it had the right levels of emotion and the right amount of information in it. She cleared her mind the best she could (That soldier from earlier just refused to get out of her mind), and carried on writing.

_Dearest Edward,_

_You cannot have guessed how excited I was to receive I reply from you. It would be a lie to say I haven't been worried about you. _

She paused, placing her pen in between her lips for a second before continuing.

_However much I am worried about you though, it is overthrown by how proud I am of you. Pride just swells in my chest when people mention you and believe me, they do. Although their sons, nephews and friends have gone off to fight in this horrible war, they still mention you whenever we chat. _

Martha paused and reread what she had written. She wrinkled her nose at some bits.

_However much I am worried about you though, it is overthrown by how proud I am of you. Pride just swells in my chest when__**ever**__people__ someone mention__**s**__ you and believe me, they __do__**mention you a lot**__. Although their sons, nephews and friends have gone off to fight in this horrible war, they still mention you whenever we __chat __**talk**__. _

She smiled to herself, thinking that it was much better now.

_It was lovely hearing from you although I had to read it out to mother and father which was a slight challenge with the use of language you had put. After all, would it hurt you to tone down the swearing a touch? I had to keep improvising which was very annoying. _

Martha grinned slightly. In all honesty she hoped he didn't tone down the swearing, it added to the amusement of the letter. But still she had to remain the bossy younger sister in her letters.

_As I have told you before, I have been keeping up to date with the war the best I can. It does confuse me quite a bit but father has been helping me out. There's not a day that goes by when he doesn't mention you, with pride of course. Mother is exactly the same, always telling her friends how much of a man you are growing up to be. Of course she still refuses to acknowledge you're an adult, you'll always be her little boy just like I will always be her little girl. _

She smiled sadly at this. She could remember the countless times Edward had tried to prove himself to be an adult to mother but she would never let go the memory of him being a new born baby.

"Martha! Lunch is ready!" Martha's mother called up.

"I'm coming!" Martha replied, standing up.

Her letter could wait until after lunch. She walked down stairs and in to the kitchen, where the small table was set for three. She sat at her place as her mother served the meal of vegetable soup and bread. She smiled at her parents as they sat and placed her hands together as her father said a small prayer for her brother. Her family wasn't overly religious but there was a time and place for everything.

They ate, a small conversation going back and forth. Martha was mostly silent, trying to come up with the words for her letter when her mother got her attention.

"Martha, are you listening to me?"

"Sorry mum, what were you saying?" Martha apologised.

"I need you to go down and check on Judy Matthews." Her mother said in a sympathetic tone.

"...Sorry to ask but whom is Judy Matthews?" Martha asked confused.

"Martha," Her mother said in an accusing voice, "You went to school with her remember! Brown hair, brown eyes...large nose."

"Oh," Martha said in realisation, "Moody Judy. That's what we use to call her. She was a right miserable b-"

"You better be saying baby Martha." Her father said in a serious voice.

"Of course I was dad; she was a miserable baby at school."

"Well that was in the past Martha, her husband Tony died a couple of weeks ago but she only found out today. I would go and give my condolences but you did know her better...well at least I thought you did."

"Alright, I'll do it." Martha said with a sigh.

Even though she didn't know Judy well, she knew it was the right thing to do. She would hope Judy would do the same with her if Edward died. Martha shivered at the thought. She didn't know what she would do without Edward.

Lunch continued without much more conversation and when Martha was finished, her mother sent her away quickly.

Martha sighed, _the letter will have to wait I guess. _

_---_

Meeting Judy was not the most wonderful time she had. Judy was in hysterics, just as Martha anticipated and she wanted Martha to stay with her for a couple of minutes.

She said minutes but it turned out to be hours.

Four hours to be exact. Whenever Martha tried to get out, Judy would let another batch of tears roll and Martha just felt guilty. She knew caring too much would never get her anywhere.

She listened to stories about Tony for hours. By the end of it all, she was sure that she knew every detail of his life. Like his favourite colour was Red, his favourite place to be was in Glasgow and that his favourite type of dog was a golden Labrador.

Finally Martha managed to get away, only thanks to another person arriving and giving their condolences. Judy had managed to swap Martha with this person instead. Martha sighed frustratingly as she walked back to her home. Now she had to get ready to go to the pub with Helen and two other people. Two other people that she couldn't even remember their names!

Martha stormed back in to her house, greeted quickly by her parents before loudly stomping to her room. She looked through her wardrobe and sighed. She was useless in these things. She was useless in everything! The only thing she felt confident in was writing letters and writing letters only. She had tried to write a novel but it didn't flow right. She growled slightly as she went through her clothes. She frowned. She really wasn't looking forward to tonight. She knew if she didn't dress up enough, Helen would nag her and she really didn't want that.

Martha eyes fell upon one of her favourite dresses. It wasn't flashy or fancy but it was a bit nicer than her regular outfits. It was a pale yellow dress with a v neck, which didn't go too long. Black buttons lined down the front of the dress. The dress went down to her knees and the sleeves almost reached her elbows. It fitted on her nicely too, and contrasted well with her brown hair. It didn't go so well with her murky green eyes but she didn't mind. It was hard to find a colour that went with her eyes anyway. She nodded to herself and changed her outfit. She then sat in front of the mirror on her table and run some fingers through her hair. She couldn't be bothered to do anything to it. Instead she put on some red lipstick and left it at that. She changed her shoes to her white heels and then went downstairs.

"You look lovely dear," Her mother said with a wide smile, "what's the occasion?"

"I'm going down to the pub with Helen and few of her friends." Martha said getting her coat and bag.

"That's nice," Her mother commented, "Have a nice time okay?"

"I'll try." Martha said with a forced smile.

----

Martha somehow managed to squeeze in to the pub. It was packed, to no surprise, with regulars and soldiers. She had to squeeze past many of them to get to the table where Helen was at.

"Martha!" Helen greeted motioning to the seat across from her, "Sit down! Fred was just telling me the funniest story..."

Martha inwardly groaned. She could tell she was going to have a horrible evening already.

"Oh really?" Martha said with fake enthusiasm.

She looked at Fred and James. They were both quite good looking but she knew the sort. They would be friendly to her but they would always find someone better in somehow. It didn't matter though; they seemed to only have eyes for Helen.

Helen went on to repeat what Fred said, bursting out with laughter at the end. Martha laughed with her, although it was entirely forced. She found herself thirsty and dying to get away from the table so Martha excused herself as she went up to the bar. There she saw Alfred, the friendly barman.

"Having a tough night?" He asked her as she walked over.

"You could say that." Martha said with the first genuine smile of the night.

"Water?" He offered her.

Martha nodded and gave him some money towards it. She leaned on the bar, looking over at Helen and the boys. They seemed to be enjoying themselves without her company. She smiled sadly. She knew what to expect, it wasn't any different to the usual.

"You sure look miserable," Someone said to her right, "It's the not best look for a lovely young lady."

Martha blushed slightly at turned to the person talking to her. Her jaw dropped slightly. It was the soldier from earlier. He still had the same grin from earlier. He was still making her blush furiously.

"And how would you know?" Martha asked, hoping her voice wouldn't crack or something.

"I'm an intelligence officer," He said leaning in closer, "I know everything."

"Then what's my name." Martha asked with a playful smile.

"Everything except that," He grinned wider, "Maybe you could tell me."

"But you're meant to be an intelligence officer, you know everything." Martha said playfully.

Then Martha did something that shocked herself. She thanked Alfred, took her glass of water and walked back to her seat. She couldn't believe she just did that. She somehow managed not to fall to pieces. She actually acted...mysterious. It wasn't like her at all but maybe it was a side of her she had never seen before. She liked this side of her very much.

"What are you grinning at?" Helen asked with a curious look.

"Something," Martha grinned, "Wonderful."

----

Martha arrived home quite early, not to the surprise of anyone. She said goodnight to her parents before going up to her room. She changed for bed and brushed her teeth. She then sat down at her desk and wrote more of her letter. After an hour or so, she was done and proud of herself. She would have to write it up neatly tomorrow but that didn't bother her.

_Dearest Edward,_

_You cannot have guessed how excited I was to receive I reply from you. It would be a lie to say I haven't been worried about you. However much I am worried about you though, it is overthrown by how proud I am of you. Pride just swells in my chest whenever someone mentions you and believe me, they mention you a lot. Although their sons, nephews and friends have gone off to fight in this horrible war, they still mention you whenever we talk. _

_It was lovely hearing from you although I had to read it out to mother and father which was a slight challenge with the use of language you had put. After all, would it hurt you to tone down the swearing a touch? I had to keep improvising which was very annoying. _

_As I have told you before, I have been keeping up to date with the war the best I can. It does confuse me quite a bit but father has been helping me out. There's not a day that goes by when he doesn't mention you, with pride of course. Mother is exactly the same, always telling her friends how much of a man you are growing up to be. Of course she still refuses to acknowledge you're an adult, you'll always be her little boy just like I will always be her little girl. _

_I must thank you for your letters, however infrequent they are, because without them I would feel lost. To not hear from you is almost painful but your letters keep me as happy as possible. I also feel like I'm with you, experiencing the things you see. I can imagine Charlie sitting next to you, telling you a story about his siblings and how they use to fool his mother, and I can see Johnny rolling his eyes at you both but laughing anyway. If you can, please send my regards to those boys, through your letters I feel like I know them and they have somehow also become my brothers._

_The village is doing very well, everybody is fine and healthy. Helen sends her love as does Edith Brown. She is most interested whenever you are talked about in the conversation. I have no idea why of course. I wish I could tell you more but I'm unsure of what I can tell you through these letters. I think I can tell you that some soldiers have arrived here, from a different country. Not much is known yet but they seem friendly enough. In fact one has already tried to get Helen. I of course, have not had as much attention. I know you're probably glad of this news, seeing as you would, in your words 'beat anyone who laid a hand on my sister'. _

_Enough about me though, you are the person that occupies my mind now. I pray every night, as does mother and father, for your safety through this war. I cannot begin to imagine the things you see, the destruction and death, but I can hope that you come out healthy and happy._

_Unfortunately there is not much more I can add, other than, I love you forever and always. I hope I will be able to run in to my big brother's arms soon, and tell you myself, how proud I am of you._

_Love, forever and always,_

_Martha_

_xxx_

She smiled down at her letter as she read it through. A yawn escaped and she looked over at the clock, seeing that it was definitely time for bed. She crawled in to bed and only one thing occupied her mind.

Well, one person.

----


	3. Thoughts of a Nixon I

_Thank you to ber1719, lou-eey's_kite and AivieEnchanted for reviewing- they made me re-he-eally happy. Like grinning, maniac happy. I wanted to write a bit in Nixon's view so this is a sort of filler chapter but the next chapter will be along quickly. Hope you enjoy!_

_---_

Lewis Nixon felt right at home at the pub at Aldbourne. The atmosphere, the smell...the glass of Vat 69 in his finger tips, it all felt like home. Well what he wished home would feel like. His home was extremely different to this. For one, the lovely brew of Vat 69 was frowned upon by the wife. Second, the smell would be much different, probably a fragrance of over bearing flowers or some new, in _style _perfume. He took a long swig from his drink and smiled in satisfaction. He shouldn't think so badly of the wife but, in all honesty, it was coming more apparent at how mismatched they were.

He hadn't even heard from her in over a _year_. For all he knew she was probably married again, raising a perfect family. Nix leaned back on the bar his gaze roaming over the pub. There were groups of Easy Company men scattered about, laughing, talking and always flirting with the Englishwomen. A smirk curved on his lips as he watched Liebgott unsuccessfully flirt with a woman. He could go over there and join them but he felt slightly detached from Easy. All he did now was work at the Battalion.

All in all he was quite alone in the pub. He didn't manage to convince Dick to come with him, to no surprise. The man had no vices and there wasn't a lot to do at pub which involved no vices.

Nix sighed lightly and drunk some more of the Vat 69. He felt someone brush past him to the bar. Nix knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but what was the harm?

"Having a tough night?" The barman asked the person.

"You could say that." A female voice replied with desperation.

"Water?" The barman offered and the female replied with a yes.

Nix half smiled and turned, thankful that the female was turned away. Ah, just as he thought. It was the woman from earlier. He had hoped it was. The scenario from earlier had played through his mind the rest of the day. He couldn't pinpoint why but he found himself slightly infatuated with the girl. Maybe it was the smile, or the normal kind look to her...hell, he knew it was the blush. Just the thought of her blushing made him grin. But the look on her face at that moment was less than pleasing. She looked like someone had just shot her puppy. And laughed. A lot. Putting on a grin, he took another sip before cracking open a line.

"You sure look miserable; it's not the best look for a lovely young lady." Nix said grinning like a Cheshire cat.

The mystery woman turned around and as he predicted, she was blushing. Her jaw dropped and she blushed more furiously. Nix's cheeks were beginning to ache with the amount of grinning.

"How would you know?" She asked him.

"I'm an intelligence officer," Nix began to say. He leaned in closer for more effect. "I know everything."

Instead of blushing more which Nix expected to happen, she smiled at him...playfully?

"Then what's my name." She asked him, showing off her pearly whites.

Nix paused. Well she had him at that one. He chuckled and looked at her in the eyes. "Everything except that...Maybe you could tell me?"

Nix happily hoped that she would give him her name. Instead fate or whoever up there had other plans.

"But you're an intelligence officer," She started grinning; "you know everything."

It was almost as if she was mocking him but Nix sure didn't mind. He leant back and watched as she took her drink and went back to her seat. He carried on watching her for a couple of minutes before turning around and setting his glass down. He strode across the pub and excited. Now on top of all the training and work he had, he had another mission, a mission to find out the mystery woman's name.

He was more determined than ever.

----

Hmmm, I hope I'm getting Nix's tone right. I'm finding him difficult to play around with. Sorry it was so short but like I said, it was a filler. The next chapter will hopefully be up tomorrow.


	4. Girly Letters

Martha awoke to the sun peaking through her curtains, casting their light over her eyes. Lazily she sat up, stifling a yawn as she began to wake up. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she stood up and walked to the bathroom to wash up. She would have slept well if it was not for the memory of a certain intelligence officer popping up every couple of minutes. She smiled happily at the thought before trying to make herself forget. She couldn't carry on being like this, it would be improper. Plus people might get suspicious as to why she was so happy. Anyway there was nothing suspicious about it. An intelligence officer flirted with her and that was that.

That wasn't just it though. No one had ever just flirted with her before. She hadn't been flirted with before this man showed up. It was...special to her. A memory she wished she could live over and over again. Turning on the taps, she splashed water in to her face. She shouldn't hold on to this memory this much it was only a bit of meaningless flirting. It wasn't like anything would happen.

Or would it? That was what kept going over in her head. Maybe this was the start of a relationship. Maybe this man was the love of her life.

"Foolish," She muttered to herself "There is no such thing as love at first sight. That's for children's stories."

Maybe she was being a bit harsh on herself but she couldn't help it. She couldn't let her spirits go high for them to be crushed in to the dirt. After all, all the soldiers want is a fun night with a girl wasn't it?

She washed herself, brushed her teeth and brushed her hair before going back in to her room. Her parents were still asleep as it was early morning. She sighed slightly, her thoughts still in the intelligence officer territory. Why couldn't she just forget and carry on functioning normally? She glanced over at the letter, which was on the desk. Martha nodded to herself, formulating a plan. She would write up the letter neatly then post the letter and then go for a walk. If she bumped in to someone she knew like Helen, she would invite them to go with her. She smiled at the plan. Perfect, she had an itinerary.

Martha wrote up the letter in her neatest hand writing, trying to make it as nice as possible. Once finished, Martha changed in to one of her usual outfits which consisted of a knee length skirt, brown in colour, and a simple white blouse. Over it she put on a black cardigan. It was nothing fancy, just the way she was. Leaving a note for her parents, she headed out of the door with letter in hand.

Early mornings in the country side were always beautiful to Martha. There was nothing quite like it. It was the smell and the sight but also the feeling of being alone in the quaint and idyllic village. Of course she saw a couple of people out and about, but still it felt like you were alone to wonder in the picturesque town. Martha walked over to the post office and posted it, a sense of relief flushing over her. Now she didn't have to worry about the letter anymore, it was off and on its way to her brother.

Now on the agenda was a walk. She knew exactly where she would walk it was the same route every time. Looking around, she saw no one that she knew well enough to invite so she headed off by herself. Martha was feeling a sense of pride for the fact that she had managed to do something without her mind wondering over to the man that must not be thought about.

That was until she saw him crossing the road, heading towards her.

_Bugger_

It was typical to happen. If she wasn't feeling so worried she would have laughed but yet the same anxiety and...Blush was reappearing. Maybe he hadn't seen her yet, maybe he was just crossing the road.

"Imagine seeing you around here."

Nope, he had definitely seen her due to the fact he was now speaking to her. Martha kept her head down and carried on walking, unable to talk back. She looked up after a couple of seconds silence and blushed furiously at his grin.

"Well I do live here." She managed to say in the end, although her gaze was on the floor.

He chuckled and Martha was aware of him walking beside her. If only she could stop bloody blushing for a second...

"Might as well get straight to the point," He said rubbing his hands together, "Are you going to tell me your name today?"

Martha tried to stop smile but it felt impossible. "No." She said looking straight ahead of her instead of looking at the floor.

"Can I ask...why?"

"You said last night you knew everything," She explained, thankful for the rush of confidence in her, "If I told you than that means you don't know everything."

"And that would be bad?" He asked with small grin, "If I tell you my name will you tell me yours?"

Martha shook her head, her smile growing.

"You are being very unreasonable you know." He said.

Martha suddenly felt worried. What if she had been too unreasonable, maybe she had blown her chance!

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to be unreasonable but I don't know what to-"Martha said quickly, looking at him with a worried look.

"Hey, hey," He said turning towards her, "I was joking."

Martha sighed with relief but then felt like a complete fool.

"No you're not."

Wait, did she say that out loud?

_Double Bugger_

Martha blushed more and looked up at him. "I'm sorry I'm just really not good at...talking."

To her surprise, and glee, he smiled kindly at her.

"I wouldn't say that," He said with a slight smirk, "Just a bit...awkward. But don't panic, it's good."

"How is that good?" Martha asked him beaming.

He shrugged. "Well it's good on you."

Martha could barely contain her happiness. To hell with forgetting and not hoping, even if this wasn't love at first site it still felt bloody marvellous.

"Do you normally walk around early morning?" Martha asked, hoping a conversation would start.

"Honestly?" He said with a small grin, "No. The sun is hurting my eyes it's too early."

Martha laughed and shrugged. "It's not all bad. It's beautiful in the morning."

"But can see beauty when you're half asleep, groggy and wanting to go back to bed?"

"I...suppose not," Martha said frowning slight but she shook her head, "It's still beautiful though."

"I'll take your word for it." He said with a nod, he looked down at his watched and frowned, "I better get back to work, but believe me I'd much rather be doing this."

"Oh," Martha said not hiding her disappointment, "Well...it's been nice."

"I'll see you around mystery woman." He said with a grin, turning around and walking away.

Martha stopped, almost bursting to ask him a question. She quickly turned around and called out to him. "What's your name?"

He stopped and turned with a playful look on his face. "Lewis Nixon."

Lewis Nixon. It felt like music to her ears.

"My name," Martha started, seeing the look of hope and joy etched across Nixon's face, "Begins with an M."

With that she turned around walked away with a feeling of glee. Today felt perfect already- and she hadn't even finished her walk.

---

Upon turning home, she was smiling and feeling happy beyond belief. She cheerfully greeted her parents before going upstairs. Taking a piece of paper and grabbing her pen, she sat her desk and began to write a letter to Helen. For once she was going to write a girly letter. Yes some people might find it pointless, seeing as she would probably be seeing Helen later on in the day but she had a hard time saying things. On paper though, they flowed.

_Dear Helen,_

_Yes this letter may seem pointless because I will probably see you before it arrives but I do not care. I have met a wonderful man and I think I finally know how you feel about William. I may not have told you before but for years I've been wondering how it feels to be so infatuated with a man but now I know and I cannot be happier. Smiling now hurts my cheeks because of how happy I am. Last night when we were with Fred and James, I went to the bar for a while. You probably didn't realise-_

Martha had to think carefully at which word to use.

_Because of how captivating Fred's story was. When I was at the bar I met the most interesting man. He's American, obviously shipped over with the rest of soldiers but he makes me feel...nice. Extremely nice. It's just the way he talks and moves. _

_He's a joking sort of person but very nice. I met him today as well; he accompanied me for a little while on my walk. Of course I was a bit...nervous but he really seemed to not mind! I don't think I have ever met someone like him before. He wants to know my name almost desperately but I haven't told him yet and I don't know why. I think maybe it's to keep him interested? He told him his name though. Lewis Nixon. It's perfect._

_I'm blushing as I write this. Well hopefully I will be able to tell you more,_

_Love from Martha. _

_PS. He is quite the looker as well. _

Martha didn't care for how un-neat it was, she bunged it in to an envelope and wrote Helen's name. She would drop it in to Helen's house when she went in to the village again. For now though, she could sit on her bed and fantasise over Lewis Nixon.

Her thoughts simply refused to do anything else.

---

Thank you for the reviews! Reviews = Lurvveee.


	5. Surprising Letters

I have mixed thoughts about this chapter but its written so I'm going to put it out. I already have small plot ideas in my head for later on in the story so really at the moment its building up to those moments. It's a bit hard since the actual main idea of the story (Apart from Nix and Martha's relationship) hasn't even really started yet. But I'll get there, thanks to your help. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, especially **ber1719 **for her fantastic idea which I used. It certainly moved things along so thank you so much for it.

Now I made Nixon's wife fictional except from choosing his real wife. I felt like it would be a bit cruel to use her name for the character I'm making his wife in to.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

-------

Minutes went by effortlessly as Martha sat on her bed, thinking about Lewis Nixon. It was foolish really, acting like a love struck teen but Martha couldn't care less. She was totally and utterly infatuated with Lew. She wondered if he would mind being called Lew or if he had another preference. She wouldn't want herself to call him by a nickname he didn't even like. That wouldn't be good at all. She bit on her lip lightly to try and stop herself from grinning. If she kept on grinning everyone would figure out something was different and she didn't want that. She knew how gossip could spread. She only wanted Helen to know. After all this could mean nothing. The soldiers could be gone in a month or two. Martha felt herself become sad at the thought. That would be upsetting if they went. However much she kept telling herself that nothing was going to happen, she still had hope. She growled lightly in frustration. Why did she keep having these fights between herself? She should just be...unpredictable for once. Just go with the flow and not fret. She nodded to herself. She would no longer worry or get upset; she would just roll with it. If it goes bad, it goes bad. Nothing more to it. She smiled fondly at this revelation.

Martha looked over at the letter on the desk. She should go and post it quickly. She had nothing else to do after all. Smiling to herself she grasped the letter in her hand and went off to post it. After that, who knew what she would do.

She would just go with the flow.

----

Martha had finally decided she could not go with the flow. After dropping of her letter at Helen's, she had immediately found herself worrying about Lewis Nixon. She just could not worry. She felt disappointed with herself mostly. She was worried about everything.

She sighed and shook her head, now she was feeling frustrated. Martha walked in the village, the argument in her head still raging. She studied the surroundings around her. There were soldiers scattered about, chatting to girls and the like. She smiled slightly at this. It was oh so typical. She had heard stories about the yanks, from years before. About how charming they were, how gorgeous they where...

Well that definitely applied to one of them-

Martha shook her head again. She must stop referring everything to Lewis Nixon. She looked down at the ground while she walked along. She was trying to clear her mind when she bumped in to someone.

Martha jumped back immediately and looked up, muttering apology after apology when she was met with a pair of stunning blue eyes. She frowned slightly and looked up at the soldier in front of her. He seemed familiar.

"I'm so sorry about that, I wasn't paying attention." Martha apologised.

"Don't worry, everything's fine Ma'am." The soldier replied with a polite smile.

Martha nodded, forcing a smile. "Good."

She turned to leave when it suddenly clicked. "You were the man with Lewis!"

"Excuse me?"

Martha blushed and frowned. "Sorry, I just recognised you from yesterday...you were walking with Lewis- I mean Nixon." Her blush reddened.

The soldier smiled politely at her and nodded. "Yes, I think I recognise you too."

"Oh," Martha said with a small smile, "Well...sorry for wasting your time-"

"Are you the girl Nix has been talking about?"

Martha paused. She could be but for all she knew he could have some other girl around. Martha frowned at the thought. That would be beyond horrible. "I don't know...I hope so." Martha said almost shyly.

"I think you are," The soldier continued, "He mentioned about meeting a young woman who...blushed a lot."

Martha felt a heat of embarrassment. "Oh gosh, really? That's terrible!"

The soldier smiled and shook his head. "He spoke of it...highly."

"Still embarrassing," Martha pointed out. "Where are my manners? I'm Martha." Martha paused before shaking her head. "But please don't tell Nixon."

The soldier raised an eyebrow.

"It's...something you don't need or want to know about." Martha explained with a sheepish grin.

"I'll keep that in mind," The soldier said with an amused look, "I'm Dick Winters."

"Lovely to meet you," Martha said with a smile. "I suspect you have things to do...I must be on my way too."

"Yes, I suppose," Dick said with a smile and a nod. "It was lovely meeting you too."

Martha nodded and gave him one last smile before walking away. She was grinning madly. So, Nixon had been talking about her. She almost couldn't contain her glee. At least now she was almost certain he liked her. She felt giddy, excitable and happy.

"Martha!" Helen's voice yelled out from behind her, "You must tell me more!"

In a couple of seconds Helen was standing next her, linking their arms together. "I'm most intrigued."

"You got my letter then?"

"A couple of seconds after it came through. I read it straight away I knew it must be important!" Helen almost squeaked in excitement, "So who is this man?"

"Lewis Nixon." Martha said almost dreamily.

"I know that," Helen rolled her eyes, "What is he like? What's his rank? What does he do?"

"Well he's an American soldier obviously. I don't know his rank, I haven't got round to asking him. I've only known him for two days!" Martha said with a small smile, "He is...amazing." Martha gushed with only a small blush, "Quite charming but very...nice. Has a good sense of humour too."

"Plus American. They're like a different species!" Helen giggled.

"They're not that different. Well Lewis isn't."

"What does he look like?"

"Very handsome," Martha said, blush reddening, "Dark hair, dark eyes, strong jaw...very handsome."

"So what has he said to you?"

"He said I was lovely that first time we met." Martha remembered with a smile.

"Lovely? Not beautiful? That's a shame."

"Oh hush," Martha rolled her eyes, "That stuff happens in fairytales not real life."

"All I'm saying is...it doesn't sound very convincing. Just keep alert. You know what most of these yanks are like. All they're looking for is a good time."

Martha frowned. "Nixon isn't like that...I mean I don't think he is. He wouldn't put this much effort..."

Helen shrugged. "I'm sure he isn't just stay alert and don't be forced in to anything. Anyway, must be off. I'm writing my letter back to William." Helen grinned at Martha before saying her goodbyes and leaving her by herself.

Martha felt less than reassured by Helen. Helen was wrong and she knew it. Helen wasn't always right. Martha frowned and went in the direction of home. Maybe spending time at home would clear her head a bit.

She hoped it would.

-----

Two days went by with no excitement. Martha had not seen or heard from Nixon in those two days. She felt saddened slightly but she knew it was unlikely. After all he had work to do. She on the hand had rather less to do. All she would do was run errands and get stuff for her parents. The rest of the time she either spent with Helen or alone in her bedroom. It was a rather dull life. She didn't hate it but she didn't overly enjoy it either.

Gazing out of her bedroom window she couldn't help but wonder what her brother was doing. Maybe he was fighting, maybe sleeping. He could be happy or sad. She didn't know though and that frustrated her but she had no way of finding out. Her thoughts then went over to Nixon as per usual. She wondered what he was doing.

"Dear, could you get me a couple of things?" Her mother's voice yelled up from downstairs.

Martha sighed. "Of course I can."

----

Nixon had never been more confused at a letter. He had just come from Battalion where he had been working. He had picked up the letter, not really thinking about it. After all it was only a letter. When he saw the handwriting though, he was a little bit confused. It was definitely female, what with the curves and overall...feminine look. When he had opened it though, that was when he needed to sit down on a bench. He was the village, looking like he had seen a ghost when he had started to read the letter.

_**To my Dearest husband,**_

Well that definitely gave away to who it was. Lucy Nixon, his wife. Sitting on the bench his eyebrows knitted in to a confused frown.

_**I know it has been a while since I have written,**_

_Ha, _Nixon thought bitterly, _you could say that._

_**But I apologise for that. I have been busy. Not everything stops when you go away.**_

Nixon could admit that statement did sting a little.

_**I'm doing well, I hope you are too. I must say that the money that you've been getting-**_

Nixon snorted at the letter. Even while there was a war going on, his wife would still bring the subject of money in. _Typical, _He thought rolling his eyes.

_**Has been put to good use. I've been redecorating the house-**_

_Redecorating the house? _Nixon felt anger simmering in him. _What a waste! Ungrateful-_

Breathing through his nose sharply he shook his head. He really shouldn't be so...cynical about his wife. After all, she could be hurting...

Ha, now that would be a break through.

_**It's looking rather splendid. All my friends have said I'm doing a wonderful job. Anyway, I can't right much since it is rather busy around here. No thanks to the dog by the way-**_

_Should have been expecting that, _Nixon thought with a slightly amused smile, _next she'll be complaining about it to me and how it's my fault..._

_**I don't know why you got the dastardly thing in the first place! It is your fault why our floors are constantly dirty. You did get the dog.**_

_Bingo._

_**Anyway, hope you're well. I love you, forever and always.**_

Nixon paused. Well that was unexpected. Sure Lucy had told him she loved him but never in that why. Definitely not in letters. Nixon frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. Well this was confusing. First he was sure she hated him but now she says he loves him?

Nixon was sure that he would never understand women.

"You sure do look miserable," Martha's voice said from beside him, "It's not the best look for a handsome young man."

Nixon instantly grinned. He quickly put the letter away and turned to her. "Using my own lines against me? That's got to be copyright."

Martha grinned at him. "Freedom of speech."

"Yeah, yeah." Nixon said leaning back on the bench.

Martha was sitting next to him. She had been getting the things for her mother when she saw in sitting on the bench. He was reading a letter and frowning a lot. A part of her wanted to know who the letter was from.

"How are you?" Martha asked.

She was trying like mad not to blush or be awkward.

"Can't complain," Nixon shrugged, "What about you?"

"I'm good...a lot better seeing you." Martha said almost blushing.

"Is that flirting?" Nixon asked raising an eyebrow. "You have changed in the past couple of days."

Martha laughed and shook her head. "Believe me I haven't. I'm still socially awkward. It's also taking a lot of will power not to...blush. Especially since you seem to like to talk to Dick about it..."

"Whoa," Nixon said raising his hands, "You've been talking to Dick? Do I have competition?"

Martha bit her lip and shook her head lightly. "Definitely not. We just had a small chat... apparently you've been talking about me."

"Hm, I've got to remember never to talk to Dick about stuff anymore," Nixon said with a light grin. "You may have come in conversation as the mystery girl."

"Mystery?" Martha asked, "I'm definitely not a mystery. You can read me like a book."

"Yet I still don't know your name," Nixon pointed out, "you going to tell me anytime soon?"

"Maybe." Martha shrugged. "If you don't mind me asking...what were you so miserable about?"

"Oh," Nixon said with a small frown, "Just a letter."

"Who was the letter from?"

Nixon raised an eyebrow, "Why would you want to know?"

Martha frowned, "Sorry, I was asking too much-"

"Hey, quit saying you're sorry," Nixon said with a smile, "It was just from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time...it was a bit...shocking."

"Oh," Martha nodded, "Well I hope...everything's okay."

Nixon nodded and silence took its place.

"Do you like me?" Martha suddenly blurted out. She froze and blushed, looking down at the floor.

Nixon grinned at her. "Yes, I do."

"Really?" Martha asked looking up hopefully.

"Yep."

"Good," Martha said grinning, "I like you too."

"I better be going I'll see you around mystery woman." Nixon said standing up smiling at her.

He turned and walked away. Well that was strange. He did truthfully like her but now with this sudden thing from Lucy...he was just confused over all. Although he didn't want to, he kept comparing Lucy to The mystery woman. It was no point though. He knew Lucy more than the mystery woman, and it wasn't certain anything would even happen. He just couldn't help it. Lucy was far more outgoing that the mystery woman but he didn't like that. Lucy was too confident, too independent in ways. The mystery woman was...kind, thoughtful and shy. Complete opposites.

"Lewis!" The mystery woman said from behind him.

Nixon turned and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm Martha." Martha said with a smile. "See you around,"

Nixon grinned and continued walking. Martha...it fitted with her well.

Objection completed, learn mystery woman's name.

Now the next objection, convince Martha to go on a date with him...

-------


	6. No Letters, Just life

_I got abducted by aliens. That's why I haven't been updating. Damn Aliens ;D_

---

In all honesty, her continuous smile was starting to make her cheeks hurt. Days went by with Martha being overly happy and to be honest it was getting notice. Whenever she walked through town people would remark on how happy she seemed some even questioning her on whether she knew a war was going on. She usually laughed it off and just said that life was treating her well, very well indeed.

It was nearing the end of September and the weather was definitely showing it. Before it had been nicely sunny, with a few spurts of rain here and there but now it was turning colder and wetter. The sun barely peaked out now; only for a couple of hours did it actually feel warm. The Americans had been there for over a week now and it seemed like the people of Aldbourne had warmed up to them. The Americans had after all been on their best behaviour.

It had now been three days since she had seen Lewis Nixon and with everyday that past she kept thinking of him. To be honest it was beginning to seem like an obsession, not that Martha minded at all. It was something that brightened up her life for once.

So needless to say, she was extremely happy when spotted Nixon on Thursday afternoon. Instantly she walked over to him, beaming.

"Hello. " She greeted with a smile.

"Hey," Nixon said also smiling, "I was wondering when I'd meet you again."

"Been missing me then?" She asked with shy look.

Nixon smirked slightly and looked at her, amusement in his eyes, "Depends, have you missed me?"

"Maybe," She said sheepishly.

"Back to being, a mystery woman already? At least I know your name now." Nixon smirked.

Martha blushed lightly and grinned, "How are you?" She asked, being polite as usual.

"Can't complain, what about you?"

"Good, wonderful in fact." Martha answered honestly.

Silence hovered between them for a couple of minutes before Nixon stopped in his tracks and turned around to face Martha, "I'm glad I ran in to you, I wanted to ask you something."

"Really," Martha replied looking surprised, "What about?"

"There's a dance happening at Swindon, you heard of it?" Nixon ask leaning back on the shop wall which they had stopped in front of.

Martha's heart started to beat hard against her chest. Was he going to ask her, what she thought he was going to ask her?

"Yes, I have." Martha said a smile starting to form on her face.

"Well, I was wondering if you would like to go with me." Nixon said with a smile.

"Yes!" Martha said excitedly before blushing furiously, "I mean yes, of course I would."

Martha immediately felt embarrassed with herself and stared at the floor.

_Why must I keep putting myself in these situations? Why must I keep embarrassing myself?_

Nixon's chuckling made her look up, blushing as always. She almost said sorry but she resisted it.

"Good, I'll pick you up at 5pm on Saturday, if that's okay?" Nixon asked hopefully.

"Yes, it's perfect." Martha gushed, excitement already building up.

"Glad you think so," Nixon said with a grin, "I'll see you on Saturday Martha."

"See you on Saturday Lew." Martha said smiling as he walked away. Then she remembered. "Wait!"

Nixon turned around, looking slightly confused.

"Where are we going to meet?" Martha asked realising they had set the time but not the place.

"Oh," Nixon said, "Your house? Wherever that is," Nixon said ending with a smirk.

"Sure, I'll see you then." Martha said with a forced smile. She then gave him the instructions to her house and he left leaving Martha standing there, feeling worried.

She had not told her parents about Lewis Nixon. She had only told Helen. She didn't want to tell them yet, she didn't know how they would react. They would either understand or they would freak out. Martha did not want to find out. Sighing, she went over to the corner shop, ration book in hand. After collecting her food items she went back to her house, worrying as usual.

----

Martha sat at the kitchen table, gazing across the room deep in thought. She had been stirring the cup of tea she had for at least ten minutes continuingly.

"Dear," Her father started, looking over his newspaper, "I think you may be over-stirring."

"Huh?" Martha said being pulled out of her thoughts.

Her father smiled lightly at her, shaking his head. "Just drink your tea."

"Oh," Martha said smiling sheepishly, "I was in my own world."

"I could tell, what exactly were you thinking about?"

"Nothing," Martha answered quickly, taking a long sip of her tea.

"Hm," Her father said looking at her with a disbelieving look, "You were in your own world thinking...of nothing."

"What? Isn't that believable?" Martha asked with a playful smile.

"No exactly," Her father said with friendly grin, "Are you going to tell me what's going on or are you going to leave me in suspense?"

"I think suspense." Martha said grinning.

"Of course you would." Her father said rolling his eyes.

Thankfully he didn't push it any further, leaving Martha to her thoughts once again. On top of all the things she could be worrying about, she was worrying about what to wear. It's not like she get another outfit before Saturday but maybe she could burrow something from Helen. They were roughly the same size. Perhaps Helen would have something that would suit Martha's murky green eyes, but also something that would complement their skin. Sighing, Martha leaned back in her seat. She didn't think Nixon would mind what she wore but it matter to her. This could be their first date, she was _sure _that a dance would qualify for it.

Smiling lightly, she finished up her tea and continued to think and worry.

----

"Maybe the white dress would suit you better..."

"It made me look like a harlot!"

"That's only what you thought. I thought you looked lovely, very lovely indeed."

"It was too...revealing."

Helen scoffed and rolled her eyes, "It revealed a little, hardly anything!"

Martha shook her head, sighing as she fell back on to Helen's bed. "This is hopeless. I might as well come in rags." Martha glumly said.

"You just got to have a little perspective." Helen shrugged as she looked through her dresses.

A little perspective, Martha scoffed in thought maybe I don't want to look that way! Blowing the hair out of her face, she stood up and walked over to the window. It was a nice day for a Friday Afternoon, quite sunny for once. It was like there was an orange glow to the sky, with the leaves matching its golden crispness.

"Found one," Helen announced while Martha already inwardly groaned. Turning around she held out her hands automatically.

"I've only worn it once, on one of my dates with William. It was during the day if I remember correctly." Helen said as she pulled out the dress, handing it over to Martha.

Martha looked at it and smiled slightly. It was red, like Helen said, but it also had white polka dots. She wasn't sure the dress would fit her curves well, or if it would go with her eyes.

"Go and try it on then." Helen urged her, almost pushing her in to the bathroom across from the bedroom.

Martha quickly changed, as carefully as possible and walked back in to Helen's room. Helen grinned as her, her hands flying to her chest.

"You look beautiful!"

Martha felt herself blush lightly but she shook her head. "I'm sure I don't."

"Stop putting yourself down, you is a perfectly lovely girl." Helen said stirring her to the mirror by Martha's shoulders.

Martha bit her lip as she looked at her reflection. She looked...well she looked quite good. The dress did fit her curves well and it even did the almost impossible task of bringing out her eyes. The dress had a v neck style, showing a little bit of her assets but not a lot thankfully. It just looked perfect to Martha's eyes.

"Gorgeous," Helen beamed standing behind Martha, "Do you want me to do your make up?"

"No, you've done enough already." Martha said still staring at her reflection.

"You're going to knock him dead on Saturday." Helen said squeezing Martha's shoulders.

"I hope not, that would be an unfortunate date." Martha said with small smirk.

----

When Martha woke up on Saturday morning she was nervous. All throughout the day she was nervous. The butterflies in her stomach refused to go away. Her heartbeat pumped hard against her chest. She could only guess this is how soldiers felt going in to battle. Her parents noticed it all too well but to Martha's relief they didn't press the matter.

It hours ticked away slowly until finally it was 5pm, the time to start getting ready. Martha wanted to allow herself a lot of time. Knowing herself, she knew she was likely to mess up her make up or something. She was halfway up the stairs when he mother called out,

"Martha! Could you drop something off for me?"

Martha winced and sighed, "Not...really."

"What?" Her mother called out surprised, "Why not?"

"I just...can't."

"There has to be a reason."

"Fine, I drop it off." Martha said defeated. She retraced her steps and went in to the dining room where her mother was.

"Thank you; take this package to Julie and Daniel's please."

"What is it?" Martha asked picking up the medium sized brown package.

"Nothing important, just some bits Julie wanted."

"Okay." Martha said, trying not to look too disappointed.

Grabbing her coat, she walked out of the door quickly. If she had any chance of getting ready in time she would have to be quick and try not to get caught in to having a conversation with Julie. With that set in mind, she hurried off eager to be quick.

----

By 6:30 she returned back home, verging on hysterical. Julie had managed to get her to have a conversation and some tea. Martha had tried to protest, tried to disagree but she couldn't. Julie started crying, worrying about her son. Martha just couldn't walk away when someone cried, it wasn't in her nature. Due to this she now had under half an hour to get ready. Something she was almost furious about. Running upstairs, without talking to her parents, she rushed in to her room and quickly stripped of her clothes. She put on the red dress carefully, not wanting to ruin it at the last minute. Five minutes later she was sitting at her table, in front of the mirror. Picking up a red lipstick she painted it on to her lips slowly. Messing up something now could be a disaster.

When she was happy, she smiled and glanced over the clock. Gulping, she continued to do her makeup. Only fifteen minutes left.

Her hand was starting to shake; her stomach felt like it was going to burst. Now she had to do her hair. Brushing it out quickly and harshly, she put it up in nice neat bun, letting some stray strands of hair fall down to frame her face. She never knew how quickly she could do that.

Martha now had five minutes left. She hoped to God Nixon wouldn't arrive early. Checking once more in the mirror, she then walked downstairs. She put on her white heels and then took her coat.

"Martha?" Her mother called out, "Why were you so long?"

"Julie and I had a chat."

"What about," Her mother said walking to face her. Her mother quickly looked shocked, raising her eyebrows. "You look beautiful darling. Pardon me, but why? Are you going down to the pub tonight?"

"Yes." Martha answered quickly with a forced smile.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Slipped my mind I suppose."

"Alright then, have a good time." Her mother smiled just as someone knocked on the door.

Martha's heart leapt. "See you later Mum!" Martha stood up and quickly opened the door.

Lewis Nixon stared back her, grin intact as usual. He looked at her, up and down and grinned wider. "Wow-"

"Who's this Martha?" Her mother spoke from behind her.

Martha visibly winced, forgetting her mother was nearby. "This is...Lewis Nixon, one of the American soldiers that came over. He's my date." Martha managed to say with a forced smile, trying not to catch either ones gaze.

"Oh," Her mother said obviously confused, "That's nice. Have a good time you too, don't stay out too late."

"I promise Ma'am, I'll bring her back at an early hour." Nixon said with a charming smile and a nod.

"Good, that's all sorted, I'll see you later." Martha quickly babbled, practically shovelling Nixon out of the door.

She shut the door behind her and slipped on her coat all in one motion. Nixon raised her eyebrows at her, as she blushed. "May I ask what that was all about?"

"Yes but I might not answer." Martha said quickly, still not looking at him.

"Touché," Nixon smirked.

Martha sighed, "I just...didn't know how they would react if I said where I was going tonight."

"Why?"

"I've never really...dated before." Martha muttered, growing redder every second.

"Oh," Nixon said in realisation, "Well...I'm not that bad am I?"

"No, you're not. I didn't want my parents to be strange about it." Martha said truthfully, looking at him.

"I understand," Nixon said with a small nod, "I also wanted to say that you're looking stunning tonight."

"Really?" Martha grinned, containing her blush, "Thank you."

---

Martha wasn't sure what do as they sat together on the bus ride to Swindon. They were quieter than the other people on the bus. The others were all chatting loudly and energetically. She saw quite a few girls she knew. She hoped they wouldn't gossip about her being on a date with someone. She doubted they would but she still had that little bit of fear.

"How are you?" Martha asked realising she hadn't asked before.

"I'm good, yourself?" Nixon responded.

"Good." Martha answered.

Silence once again crept between them.

"What do you do? I mean exactly?" Martha asked suddenly curious.

"You don't want to hear about it," Nixon said, "It's long and boring."

"Tell me," Martha said eagerly, "I want to know. Nothing can be more boring than my life."

Nixon smiled and shook his head lightly, "Fine, you asked for it."

Nixon then went on to tell her what exactly he did as intelligence officer. Martha hung on to his every word, wanting to absorb it all. Soon the conversation turned on Martha. Martha told Nixon about her life, what she did and who she talked too. Compared to Nixon, it was dull but Nixon seemed genuinely interested. Martha told him about her parents and then Edward. She went in to great detail about Edward. For once she was the one being able to gush about him, to say how proud she was. The bus ride stopped too soon for Martha's liking but now she had the next frontier.

The dance it's self. They both got off the bus and waited outside the hall for a couple of seconds before walking it. It was packed, full of soldiers and British women, dancing, chatting and socialising.

"Would you like to dance?" Nixon asked rubbing the back of his neck.

"Only if you want to," Martha replied with a smile.

"Yeah, let's get it out of the way," Nixon said grinning as he dragged her on to the dance floor, "Now promise you won't laugh at my dancing."

Martha giggled and shook her head, "No, I'll be too busy laughing at my own."

Martha placed her hand on his shoulder, as his hand went on her back. They locked their other hands together and slowly started to dance in time with the music. Martha didn't know the song but it seemed nice. Nixon pulled her in closer, smiling as he did. Martha smiled shyly back as they continued to dance. It was nice in a way but stressful too. Martha didn't want to tread on his toes.

"I like this song," Martha said while Nixon agreed.

Slowly but surely, Martha rested her head on Nixon's shoulder as they danced. Nixon wrapped both his arms around her waist as Martha put her arms around his neck. Martha had never felt as happy dancing as she did at that moment. The song ended but quickly another song began to play.

Martha looked up at Nixon, catching his eyes. "Thank you for taking me here."

"Thank you for coming." Nixon smiled.

After a couple more minutes of dancing Nixon finally sighed. "That's it."

Martha looked at him confused, "What is?"

"I just need to do...something okay?" Nixon said with a slight smile.

"Okay?" Martha replied confused.

Nixon quickly brought his hand up to her cheek, as he pulled her close with his other hand. Looking in to her eyes he edged forward. Martha's heart seemed to hammer against her chest. She closed her eyes as his lips caressed hers. Martha felt like she was melting. She pulled herself closer as she wanted the moment to last forever.

He seemed to pull away all too quickly. Martha opened her eyes at him and smiled widely.

"Thank you." Martha grinned, knowing that she sounded strange for saying that.

"Don't worry about it, really." Nixon said with a smirk before leaning in again.

---


	7. Invitation Letters

It was hard and it took so long! It flowed at the beginning and it flowed near the end but the middle was a pain in the bumcake.

Thank you to AivieEnchanted, pirate-muffins-13 and Ber1719 for reviewing. They make me overly happy! Sorry it took so long to update but School gets in the way :C

On another note, I'm planning another story but it won't be written for a long time. Not until one of my stories is finished anyway. So I was wondering who do you feel needs some love in the fanfiction world? If you could leave a review with your top three, that would great! I've already got some ideas but I want peoples' input. I want to make sure I satisfy the reader :D

Anyway, on with the story to which I own nothing but my lovely Martha, who I wish I hug XD I also own her family and her friends. Boo-yah.

The newly crisp and cold air was a sign that December had now started. Sitting on a bench across from a street of shops, Martha was continuing to knit a scarf. It was something she had taken up lately. There were only so many chores a person could do before becoming bored out of their skull. She liked knitting, she found it calming but she didn't have her mother's knack for doing it quickly. She had spent several weeks working on the scarf, only to have it a quarter of the way done.

There was also a reason as to why she was knitting outside in the bitter cold rather than in the nice toasty place she called home. Ever since that first date with Nixon, her mother had been taking every free chance to try to talk about him. At first it was motherly and protective but now it just felt annoying. It was even worse her dad had started at it as well. Since then Martha had learnt to keep all date with Nixon a secret, instead saying that she was going to the pub with Helen. She even had Helen to lie for her about it.

It was as if she didn't want her parents to be involved but she liked having a feeling of secrecy about her relationship. She loved feeling like her relationship with Lew was their own secret were no one had to but in about it. Sure it was a strange idea but she couldn't help but liking it.

"Still knitting?"

A smile formed on Martha's lips at the sound of Lew. She could swear that his voice was better than any music out there. "Yes, it's harder than it looks," Martha said looking up at the handsome face.

"But it looks hard." Nixon frowned lightly while Martha smiled.

"A man would say that."

Nixon chuckled, "Very harsh Martha," he sat down "not to mention sexist."

Martha laughed shaking her head, "Showing different side of me every day."

Nixon made a sound of agreement and that sat in silence for a couple of moments. There was one thing that Martha found out about her relationship with Nixon. They could spend many minutes together in silence yet be completely happy. She also found out the small things he did make her happy. Of course there were the big things like the kisses, the hugs and the conversations but there were the small things too. Like how he talked to her first then he would kiss her and how he always finished his cigarette before they greeted, she didn't even tell him to do it, he just did it.

"How are you Lew?"

"I'm good," Nixon said running a hand quickly through his hair, "Training's picked up a lot."

"Are the men doing well, especially with Sobel gone now?" Martha said although not turning away from her knitting.

"Yeah, they're doing well." Nixon smirked slightly at her mention of Sobel.

Silence yet again coated them until Martha placed her knitting on her lap and turned to Nixon, a smile on her face.

"Hello." She simply said.

Nixon grinned devilishly at her, kissing her on the lips softly. It was definitely a greeting Martha could get use too.

"Hey," Nixon said running a finger across her cheek, "You doing well?"

"Yes," Martha said giggling at Nixon's touch. "Would you like to assist me on a walk?"

"Well I suppose I'll have too." Nixon grinned, "Can't leave a young woman by herself can I?"

Martha rolled her eyes slightly and put her knitting away in her bag. Nixon stood up and offered his hand to Martha, which Martha took.

They walked through the village, Martha pointing things out as they went. It was one of her small pleasures. She loved telling Nixon stories and information about the village. Plus Nixon seemed genuinely interested in it all. She also loved walking with Nixon. Whenever they walked, they usually talked. Meaning she would usually find out more about Nixon.

"Heard anything from your family yet?" Martha asked as they strolled along.

"I got a letter from my Mother," Nixon shrugged, "She said she was doing well. So is Dad."

"What about Blanche?" Martha asked. She was interested in Nixon's family. After all, if her fantasies came true, she would have to meet them some day.

"My dear sister seems to be doing well as well." Nixon smirked slightly. "Since we're on the topic of families, how is yours?"

Martha paused, thinking for a second.

"Oh that bad," Nixon said sarcastically.

Martha playfully hit him on the shoulder, "They're well, if not annoying. They keep asking me about you."

"You tell them nothing but bad things of course?"

"I tell them...nothing." Martha said shyly.

They slowed to a stop, Martha staring at the ground.

"I'm not that bad am I?" Nixon asked her in a joking tone, but there was a bit of worry etched in his face.

"No, of course you're not," Martha said crossing her arms, "You're brilliant. It's just...oh it's so stupid!" Martha groaned, shaking her head.

"Martha," Nixon said tilting her chin up, "Tell me."

"I like...this being just between us." Martha sighed, "I'm worried that if my parents or anyone else gets in involved it could ruin everything and I really don't want that to happen."

"I don't want that to happen either," Nixon smiled at her, pulling her close, "It won't happen. I promise."

Martha smiled slightly and nodded, "Okay. Now I just feel foolish."

Nixon smirked, "Only slightly."

Martha rolled her eyes, "You're not meant to say that."

"Hey," Nixon said shrugging, "I feel like a rebel."

Martha had no idea how Christmas came so fast. First it was four weeks away and now it was a measly five days. Her whole month had just gone by like a flash. She knew why it had though. She had taken up a couple of jobs, earning some extra money. They were mostly getting errands from her parents and her parent's friends but it had given her enough money to buy a few nice gifts. In all her time of working, she had hardly seen Nixon. She hadn't even seen much of Helen. It just seemed like work, work and more work.

Now she had days to relax and finish buying those extra presents. She was looking forward to Christmas. Even through the worst of times, Christmas could make things happy. There would be a cloud around Christmas though, due to Edward not being there. Nevertheless, she was still looking forward.

Martha sat in an armchair across from the fireplace, knitting as usual. It had gotten too cold to knit outside anymore. She had not progressed much from the beginning of the month, but she hoped she would finish it before the winter season went.

"It looks like it's going well," Her mother commented as she walked in the room.

"Too slow for my liking," Martha replied.

"You were never that quick at knitting...or needlework, or sewing." Her mother pondered sitting down on the sofa.

"Generally not good at many things," Martha sighed

"Oh," Her mother shook her head, "I wouldn't say that. You're very good at a lot of things. Just some things you're not quick at."

Martha shrugged in reply.

"There was something I wanted to ask you..."

Martha winced inside. No doubt the topic of Nixon would come up. Martha just wished she would stop it already.

"I was thinking about something to do at Christmas."

Martha raised an eyebrow. Now she was confused.

"Well I discussed it with your father and he seems okay with it, now it's you I need to ask," Her mother smiled lightly at her, "Do you think Lewis would like to come over on Christmas day? Having dinner and all that stuff?"

Martha sat, astounded and wide eyed. "W-what do you mean?"

"Well I was thinking it must be quite dull at the Barracks. Also I doubt the food is very nice." Her Mother said with a smile.

"Yes! I mean I'm sure he would love to," Martha grinned, "I'll ask him or send him a letter."

"That's wonderful dear," Her mother said standing up, "Well I'm glad you're pleased about that."

"Very pleased," Martha said as she continued to grin.

Nixon didn't like mornings. He loathed them. Would it kill someone just let him have a lie in for once? He yawned once again as he walked along one of the hallways in Battalion HQ. Just as he was walking down stairs, a private stepped in his way.

"Sir," The private said, "A young woman asked me to give this to you."

Nixon raised an eyebrow as the private gave him a letter. He saluted the private and he walked off, leaving Nixon on the staircase. He walked down, holding the letter tight. He knew only Martha would write to him and he was wondering why. He couldn't guess anything was wrong but then again he hadn't seen her in a while. He would have thought she was too busy to write, seeing as Christmas was only four days away.

_Dear Lew,_

_I had to send a letter, in case I didn't see you before Christmas. I doubt I would due to the chaos leading up to Christmas. This letter is really on behalf of my mother._

Nixon's nose crinkled up slightly in confusion. Her mother? He had only met her once.

_She has offered to do something, something which I really hope you agree with. She's wondering if you would like to come over on Christmas day, join us for lunch and all those Christmas type things. She wasn't sure what was happening at the Barracks at Christmas Day so she hopes you're free. If you are, you're welcome to come around at 10, or as the army would say, 10 hundred hours. _

Nixon smirked.

_I would love you to come. It would be a lovely Christmas Present._

_All my love, _

_Martha._

Nixon smiled, folding the letter up and placing it in his pocket. Now he had something good going on at Christmas. Before all he was counting on was eating shitloads of turkey and drinking bottles of Vat 69. At least now he could do it in Martha's company.

Martha couldn't wait until Christmas. This time it wasn't for the presents or the food. It was for Lew. At least now maybe her parents wouldn't pester her so much. Of course having Lew over was also another thing to worry about. She had to look nice. That was always the problem. So in the final minutes leading up to Ten O'clock on Christmas morning, Martha was a bag of nerves. She felt like she was shaking but she was pretty sure she wasn't. Well at least she hoped she wasn't.

A knock on the door made Martha jump in her seat. As quick as a flash she was at the door, opening it to look in to the face of Lewis Nixon. A wide grin gleamed back at her.

"Happy Christmas," He greeted, leaning on the door way casually.

"Happy Christmas," Martha smiled back, "Come in, make yourself at home. You're still wearing the same clothes, as usual. I'm starting to wonder if you ever change."

Nixon walked in, his eyes taking in every detail around. Martha noticed that he was carrying a bag of things.

"Presents?" She said noting the bag.

"Yes sir," Nixon smirked as Martha's Mother walked in.

"Lewis," She smiled, "Happy Christmas. We're so glad you could come over."

"Happy Christmas Ma'am, thank you for inviting me." Nixon nodded, "I bought presents, although I wasn't sure what to give."

"Oh don't fret," Martha's Mother said, "You didn't need to bring presents."

"Then I would have felt like I was being rude."

Martha watched them with some pride and amusement. She laughed lightly and led her mother and Nixon in to the living room where her father was sitting. In the room was a smallish Christmas tree, were presents were put underneath.

"Ah, Lewis Nixon," Her father announced smiling, standing up,"Nice to meet you at last. I would say I've heard a lot about you but Martha hasn't been in a sharing mood."

Martha blushed lightly and shook her head, "Two minutes in and already embarrassing me."

Nixon smirked and shook her father's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

After the presents had been unwrapped, they were left to do as they pleased as Martha's mother cooked the Christmas Lunch/Dinner. Her father read the newspaper while listening to the radio, while Martha decided it would be a good time to show Nixon around.

"Thank you for what you gave my parents," Martha said smiling, "It was very sweet."

"It's no problem, I'm just glad they liked it. I wasn't sure what to get them first."

"Chocolate is always welcome here." Martha grinned.

They walked upstairs to Martha's room. "This is my room."

Nixon looked around, a small smile on his lips. "It's nice. You have a good view out of your window."

"Yes, it's one of my favourite."

"Is this where," Nixon began walking over to the desk. "You write your infamous letters?"

"Why I believe it might be." Martha smirked, leaning against the door way.

Her arms crossed as she watched Nixon look over the desk. "Interesting,"

"Very." Martha said sarcastically.

Nixon walked up to her, putting an arm around her waist.

"I've seen a change in you," Nixon smirked, "A very sarcastic change."

Martha laughed, "Well maybe I'm just changing."

"Maybe," Nixon murmured as he rested his forehead against hers.

"Can we pretend there's mistletoe above us?" Martha whispered as she slipped her arm around the back of his neck.

"Definitely," Nixon muttered as his hand caressed her cheek.

Martha kissed him almost desperately, clinging on to him like she was clinging on for her life. Nixon wrapped around her tightly. They remained in their cocoon of ecstasy until breathing became an issue. They pulled apart sadly but remained holding each other.

"We better go back before they send a search party." Nixon muttered almost regrettably.

"Unfortunately," Martha sighed.

They broke apart but Martha entwined her fingers in to his, and led him downstairs.

Christmas lunch/dinner was a nice affair. Martha could only remember smiling all the way through it. It seemed like Nixon was really trying to get along with her parents. The talk was friendly, most questions being asked at Nixon. Nixon always answered them, throwing a smile Martha's way. She couldn't help but feel in awe of the man. She knew if she was in his shoes, she would be beyond nervous. Nixon seemed calm and in control, something that Martha could only dream of being someday.

The day went on until finally evening came about, when Nixon had to go back. Her parents bid their farewells, telling him he was always welcomed around. Then there was Martha. They stood at the door way as Nixon put on his coat.

"I had a great time," Nixon said, "Thank you for letting me over."

Martha only nodded and smiled. "I got you something. I thought it would be better giving it to you now then earlier." Martha went and picked up a nicely decorated gift bag and handed it over.

Nixon raised an eyebrow and reached in, grinning as he pulled out his beloved drink. "Vat 69. You sure do know how to win my heart."

Martha giggled, "I guess you like it then."

"Definitely. I got you something too," Nixon said reaching in to his coat pocket. He pulled out a rectangular package, wrapped up nicely with a bow.

"You shouldn't have." Martha said taking the package with a sincere smile.

"I should have."

Martha shrugged and un-wrapped it carefully, gasping at what she saw. It was a letter writing set, with envelopes, designed paper and a calligraphy pen. Martha leapt at Nixon, pulled him in to a hug. She kissed him and grinned.

"I take it you like it?" Nixon asked, a little breathless.

"This is the most thoughtful gift I have ever gotten," Martha gushed, "Thank you."

They kissed once more and off Nixon went, waving. Martha waved back, brimming with happiness. Nothing could make her sad. Nothing could ever change the way she felt.

Or so she thought.

Wow, quite a grim last sentence right?

Please review, each review makes a cloud grow.

Yeah, don't ask.


	8. Goodbye Letters

Those damn aliens, they just keep invading. This time they just wouldn't let me on the computer, let alone let me write. They made me eat biscuits without tea ;_; School got to me, I'm trying to write as much as I can but school work gets annoying :C Thank you to everyone who reviewed, they're wonderful :D

I'm really excited to get moving on with this story, I have a couple of ideas to get out.

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

---

The crisp cold winter changed in to a warmer and lighter spring. Warm green leaves were appearing on the once bleak trees and the grey skies were no longer. January, February, March and April passed far too quickly for Martha. In those months she felt like she had barely seen Nixon. In reality they had seen each other frequently but in Martha's eyes it wasn't enough. She would be the first to admit she was completely infatuated with the man. If she had her way...well Nixon wouldn't see much of day.

Martha, for once in her life, felt content. She was generally happy. No worry, no doubts, she just felt calm and peaceful. It felt strange to feel that way in such a dark period of time but she couldn't help it. She just felt like smiling all the time. She had even seen some changes about how others felt towards her; they seemed to be happier as well.

Martha woke up on the 29th of May, awaking to the sunlight peeking through the curtains. The light warmed her face as she lazily peeled her eyes open. A smile crept its way on to her face as she sat up, stretching out her tired limbs. She looked at the time and smiled. She had a whole half an hour before her alarm was meant to go off, which meant a full hour to get ready in time to meet Nixon. Needless to say, she was excited.

Martha smiled at the thought and slowly arose from her bed. After freshening herself up a bit in the bathroom, she returned to her room to fret about her wardrobe. Although she knew it was silly to get worked up over small details, she couldn't stop herself. She wanted to look as best as she could whenever, especially now that Nixon was in her life.

An hour passed quick enough for her liking and soon enough she was out of the door, with a skip in her step. Martha smiled at the new warm air. It was nice now it wasn't so cold; it made the dark days of war seem brighter. Soon enough, she saw something else that made her feel brighter. She was sure she visibly lighted up.

Nixon smiled at her, a warm look washing over his features. His overall appearance was scruffy which was probably due to him just waking up. She couldn't help but grin. He took one last drag of his cigarette before stumping it on the ground underneath his foot.

"Morning," Martha greeted with a small wave, "Too early?" She smirked lightly.

Nixon nodded with a very small smile, "Definitely."

Placing a warm kiss on her lips, Nixon wrapped his arm around her waist. Martha fell in to his kiss, her hand placed on his cheek. Nixon pulled away regretfully but smiled at her and started to walk, bringing her along with him. His arm was still around his waist. It made Martha feel safe and protected in some way.

They walked along the small village roads, chatting quietly between themselves. Martha guessed they looked like a real couple now, walking close together and chatting quietly. It made her happy.

"You look happy," Nixon commented with a slight smirk, "Can I ask what you're thinking?"

Martha shook her head, "Oh, it's nothing much. I'm just happy...being where I am right now."

Nixon nodded with a slight smile, "Good."

"Why, if it isn't the young lovebirds,"

Martha looked up at Helen and rolled her eyes slightly. "Good morning Helen."

Nixon smirked slightly at them both. He had the pleasure to meet Helen back in January and could only think of her as having the best intentions, even if they did fall flat. "Helen," Nixon greeted with a small nod.

"Nixon," Helen repeated his gesture with a smile. "Sorry to stop you two, just needed to tell Martha something."

"Go ahead, I'll be over there," Nixon said motioning to where he was going to be.

As he walked away, Martha watched him with an unintentional smile on her face.

"Martha, could you drag your eyes away from your handsome man for a second?" Helen said slightly annoyed.

"Oh," Martha blushed, "sorry. What did you want to tell me?"

"I got a letter from William again, first time in a while."

Martha inwardly groaned but put on a smiling face. She felt a pang of guilt. She shouldn't be dreading to hear about William. On the other hand though, she knew that Helen would take a long time gushing about it. Time she could spend with Nixon...

"...It looked like he really meant it as well. I just feel so...warmed by it! I think he thinks about me all the time!" Helen said happily.

"How lovely," Martha said although she wasn't quite sure what she was talking about.

"Anyway, I don't want to keep you away from Nixon. I'll see you around." Helen said quickly hugging Martha and walking away.

"Let me guess what she talked about," Nixon said appearing behind Martha, "William?"

"Amazing, you got it right." Martha said with a small giggle, "Anyway, where were we?"

----

Nixon knew he would have to tell her soon but that didn't make it any less of a worry. They were leaving in one day. Then soon they would be jumping over Normandy, going in to battle for the first time. Nixon was usually not worried about a lot of things. This time though, he was worried about two thing, telling Martha and Jumping in to Normandy. Somehow telling Martha worried him more. For the first time in a while, he was feeling happy. He truly enjoyed being in Martha's company. It was refreshing to be with someone who was kind and who cared.

Thankfully he hadn't gotten any more letters from Lucy. He didn't even send a letter back. It made him feel cold hearted but at least he had a plausible excuse for not writing. He was training to go off in to war. Not doing up the house or any other bad excuse. It angered him slightly but he couldn't stay angry for long, not with Martha around.

He dreaded the upcoming talk as he walked along to Martha's house. Bracing himself for the worst, Nixon knocked on the door to her house.

"Lew," Martha happily announced, opening the door, "I didn't know you were coming around. This is a surprise!"

"Yeah," Nixon said smiling slightly, "I needed to tell you something."

"Okay," Martha said wearily, "Come in then. Mother and Father are out at the moment."

Nixon walked in to the house and almost sighed. He couldn't help but think back to Christmas. It was definitely one of his favourite Christmas memories.

"So what did you want to tell me about? Do you want a drink? Please sit." Martha said kindly motioning to one of the living room seats.

"I'll stay standing thank you," Nixon smiled, "and unless you have Vat 69 around here..."

"No." Martha said with a slight smile. "So...go on."

Nixon sighed, "There's no easy way of saying this...We're moving out, the company that is. Then we're jumping over and...Going off and fighting."

Silence coated the room. Nixon tried to read Martha's face but he just couldn't tell.

"Well...that's annoying." Martha finally said.

Nixon nodded, "Yeah, it is."

Martha sighed and walked over to him, pulling him in to a tight hug. "I wish you didn't have to go."

"Me either." Nixon said holding her close.

They stood just holding each other for a couple of minutes. Nixon lightly stroked her hair as they hugged.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Martha said as some tears escaped.

"I'll be back before you know it." Nixon said confidently as he looked at her.

"I'll be waiting...with a bottle of Vat 69." Martha sniffed lightly while Nixon chuckled.

Nixon kissed her lightly on her forehead.

"Nixon...I love you." Martha said as couple of more tears slipped out.

"I love you too."

----

Nixon stood in a sea of people. Half of Aldbourne was there, saying goodbye to the soldiers. In spite of all this, Martha was nowhere to be seen. They had agreed on it the day before. They said their goodbyes in private and it would stay that. Nixon was slightly glad of this. He had something major to focus on now and he needed to focus on it.

"Martha isn't here?" Dick asked his friend looking over at him.

"Nope," Nixon said lighting up a cigarette, "Said goodbye yesterday, in private."

"She's changed you," Dick said with a triumphant smile, "You really care about her don't you?"

"A gentleman doesn't discuss such matters."

"But you're not a gentleman."

Nixon chuckled, "True."

"Lieutenant Nixon!" A soldier called out, "Lieutenant Nixon?"

"Private?" Nixon called out.

"Lieutenant," the solider nodded, "Got a letter for you."

Nixon could tell straight away who it was from. "Thanks."

Nixon looked at the letter and smile. It was definitely from Martha. The handwriting and envelope gave it all away. Nixon opened it quickly and scanned his eyes other the letters.

_Dearest Nixon,_

_I know we agreed to say goodbye yesterday but there was no agreement on letters. I've included some stamps and a couple of sheets of paper. If you find time, I would love it if you wrote. Of course if you don't, that'll be fine as well. I'm truly going to miss you Lew. You've changed me for the better. I don't think I've cared about someone as much as I care about you. I know I will see you again soon and I look forward to that. Just remember, that I love you. Whenever you feel down just remember that._

_Lots of love,_

_Martha. _


	9. Thoughts of a Nixon II

SNOOOOWWWW! There is snow in England. Enough snow for me not to go in to school for two days (and possibly a third). Wooo! Sorry for the wait and thank you to everyone who reviewed! Hope you enjoy this chapter.

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**D-Day, heading to Normandy**

Nixon could only think of D-Day as Chaos. For a month he had everything drilled in to his head, the maps, the time, where and when everything was meant to happen. He was sure he was eating and breathing it. The low grumble of the plane engines was starting to irritate him and the thought of the situation at hand made him want to bash his head against the wall so instead he let his mind wander as he lit up a cigarette. Taking a long drag of the cigarette, he thought of Martha.

It had been over a month since he last saw her. He thought about her a lot, it may have not been every day but it was close. His mind simply refused to push her out of his thoughts. He couldn't help it, he loved her.

Love, he thought, was a strong word that could be used so easily, almost too easily. He had told Lucy that he loved her many times but truthfully he didn't. Sure there were times of affection but really, he didn't mean it with all his heart. He was pretty certain that Lucy was the same towards him. When they had first met, he thought it was love at first sight. Months later he came to his senses and realised it wasn't love, it was just lust. She was gorgeous with long blonde hair, bright blue eyes and rosy red lips, a typical princess in a fairytale. If only her personality matched. She was nice at first, flirty if not a bit confident. Then that really started to show through. She whined and moaned a lot and not in the way that Nixon liked. Thinking about it, she use to insult him a lot but she always brushed it off with a bat of her eyelashes.

_If only I wasn't so naive back then _Nixon thought with bitterness.

Martha was different. Martha was one of a kind, beautiful in her own way and genuinely nice. She had flaws but good flaws if that was possible. It wasn't love at first sight; it was attraction at first sight and in some way that was better. He genuinely did love her. She wasn't anything like Lucy and that was why he loved her. She had brown hair that went to her shoulders and these dark green eyes. He had heard her calling them murky but he couldn't disagree more.

There was one huge flaw in his relationship with Martha and that was Lucy. He was married. Technically he was cheating on his wife. It made him feel uncomfortable. Martha didn't know any better of course, she had no idea he was married. Not many people in the company knew either, just a couple of people. It wasn't because he was trying to keep it a secret, it just never came up and when news got around of him and Martha most people presumed he wasn't married. Who would?

If only it was simple. If only he wasn't married to Lucy. If he wasn't married to Lucy, he was pretty sure he would marry Martha.

His heartbeat quickened at the thought. He was really serious. He was deadly serious.

There was only one way he could go on with his relationship with Martha without guilt and that was if he divorced Lucy. Somehow he knew that wouldn't go down well. Either way it would end in tears.

Nixon could only hope it wouldn't end with Martha's tears.

---

**St. Marie-du-Mont, France**

"Hey! Dick," Nixon shouted running after his red headed friend, "You know that map you found? It had every Kraut gun in Normandy on it."

Dick nodded but Nixon could tell he was more preoccupied with trying to open a can of food. After watching him battle (and lose) with the can for a minute, he intervened.

"Here," Nixon said taking the can and the can opener from him, "Don't ever get a cat, "Nixon said as he started to open the can, "What's on your mind?"

Nixon listened as Dick explained why. He could tell his friend wasn't happy and something was troubling him. Dick explained that he lost his first soldier that day. Dick said that his name was Hall. Dick also said that he wasn't even old enough to buy a beer. Nixon nodded and listened to him intently. Nixon sighed as Dick walked away, saying he wasn't hungry.

Nixon turned around and threw the can up in the air and away. Nixon hadn't had a chance to think about Martha since he was in the plane, now, in his one hour of relaxing, he thought about her again. He hoped she was okay and wasn't too sad about him not being there. He wished he could see her, know that she was okay.

An idea hit Nixon in full force. Fishing around in his breast pocket of his jacket, he pulled out an envelope and took a clear sheet of paper.

"Shit," Nixon muttered as he tried to search for a pen. Sighing loudly, he went up to the tent were a few of the Easy company guys where. Lifting open the flap, he looked up at the faces of six men, including Malarkey and Buck.

"Any of you got a pen?"

A few of the men shook their heads but Lipton searched through his pockets. Buck turned to look at Nixon with a questioning look. "Writing a letter?"

"Maybe,"

Buck chuckled lightly, "To that girl of yours? What's her name? Margaret, Milly-"

"Martha."

Buck smirked at him as Lipton passed Nixon a pen.

"Thanks," Nixon said with a nod as he left the boys.

Finding a quiet area, Nixon sat down and tried to think of what to write. Martha was great at writing letters and he felt utterly lost.

_**Dear Martha,**_

_**I hope you and your family is well. I'm good and well. There were a few complications in the jump but nothing we couldn't deal with. **_

Nixon sighed. All of it sounded...boring and dull.

_**I wish I could tell you more but they'd blank it out. I can't give you much information unfortunately. I just want to make sure you're okay. I love you and I'll be back as soon as I can. I can't wait to see you again.**_

Nixon decided he couldn't write much more without it being blanked out. It wasn't great but he hoped it would be good enough.

_**Love Lew.**_

Pulling out a clean envelope, he put the paper in it and wrote Martha's address. Putting a stamp on the envelope he put it back in his breast pocket. Smiling to himself slightly, he lit up a cigarette and walked, waiting to see what would happen next.


	10. Reassuring Letters

This chapter was a meanie to write. It just wouldn't get itself in order. I can't apologize enough for how long this chapter took to be uploaded. It's not...my most favourite chapter, it's mostly filler but the story will start to pick up soon! Anyway, thank you for the reviews and for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Hopefully (Not making promises) I'll update again near the end of this week.

Hopefully being the main word.

---

The sun was glowing in the sky, radiating Martha's face making her feel warm. The sky was also a bright blue and all in all, it looked beautiful.

Martha loathed it.

She loathed it as much as the birds that tweeted and sung loudly in the morning and the leaves on the trees that were turning beautiful shades of green. It was all too happy and bright. She didn't feel happy or bright, she felt stony and cold. She wanted the harshness of the winter back, the grey skies and the freezing cold wind. She couldn't stand the sight of anything remotely bright or happy. She was beginning to feel extremely cynical. There was still a part of her, telling her it was stupid to be acting this way. A part of her telling her she should go back to how she was and stop acting like a brooding teenager. Her cynical side was winning though, making her bitter and not a force to reckon with. Even Helen was sick with being around her, although the sensible side of Martha couldn't disagree with her.

Even the cynical side of Martha knew that it was harsh that she told Helen to stop come up with a different topic to talk about while she was talking about William. Helen had snapped at her, saying that at least William wrote to her and she knew that he was alive. Martha nearly burst in to tears and Helen promptly apologised, saying that she didn't mean it and she knew Nixon would be alive. Martha didn't apologize for what she said though; instead she walked away and hadn't seen Helen since. Helen had tried to contact her but for once, Martha was stubborn.

Squinting as her eyes looked up at the sky, Martha's thoughts once more were occupied by Nixon. It was as if she couldn't think of anything else but him. Martha had chosen to try and block out the news as a way of not getting too worried. The last thing she needed was to be hysterical.

Sighing lightly, she ran a hand through her hair, thinking of how she had become to be like this. It was borderline pathetic. It was obsessive and it wasn't doing her any favours. After all, Nixon could be gone for months, even years and her being miserable weren't going to help anyone. Yet, she couldn't get out of her state. Even with thoughts at how it wasn't helping.

"Martha!"

Her mother shouted from downstairs. Glancing at her bedroom door, she sighed before responding.

"Yes?"

"Could you come down here love?"

Sighing once more, she made her way across her room and down the stairs. Martha walked in to the living room to see what her mother wanted. Her mother was sitting, sewing on some buttons on one of her father's coats. She looked up at Martha, a smile gracing her features.

"I was wondering if you could help me with some bits and pieces. I've got a pile of clothes that need repairing in some way."

Martha nodded silently and took a seat next to her mother on the sofa. Without saying a word, she threaded a needle and picked up an item of clothing. It was one of her father's shirts. It had a small rip on the arm. It was a simple sewing job which pleased Martha slightly. She wasn't exactly an expert when it came to sewing.

"I don't know what your father does to cause all these rips," Her mother said with a cheery smile, "All I see him do is read the paper!"

Martha didn't say a word. She didn't smile either. All she did was sew up the rip in silence. Martha felt like she could hear her mother frowning.

"Right," Her mother said placing the coat on the ground, along with her needle, "I think we need to chat."

"Why?" Martha asked as she continued sewing.

"I can't stand another day of you being bloody miserable, that's why." Her mother said folding her arms across her chest.

Martha sighed and slowly set her sewing down, and looked over at her mother. "Well you can't expect me to be happy can you?"

"No, I can't and I won't. Still, I don't think being miserable is going to solve anything."

"I_ know_ that. It's not like I want to be like this." Martha huffed, glaring at her mother slightly.

"Well do something about it." Her mother said as though it was the simplest thing.

"But it's not that simple! What am I meant to do about it?" Martha said clearly frustrated.

"You're meant to keep living. Remain normal."

"But how?" Martha questioned as she started feeling emotional, "how can I when...when Lew might be?" Martha sighed, feeling defeated.

Her mother smiled sadly at Martha, her arms wrapping themselves around her daughter's frame.

"You just do sweetheart. You just do...it might not be today or tomorrow but it'll happen someday. It's just going to take time. Like when Edward went. You just need to keep your friends and family close..."

"I need to go and see Helen." Martha murmured in to her mother's shoulder, relaxing in the warmth of the embrace.

"That would be a good idea love." Her mother said leaning back slightly. She used her finger to lift Martha's chin up.

"Chin up and soldier on." Her mother smiled.

Martha nodded and pulled away from her mother, smiling slightly. "I'll see you in a couple of hours...I've got to try and sort this thing out with Helen."

"You do that. I don't want you to be moping when you come back."

Martha nodded, smiling brightly. "I'll try not to be."

---

"Oh," Helen said surprised, "I wasn't expecting you." Helen said crossing her arms over her chest as she leant against the door frame.

Martha grimaced slightly, her stomach churning. She felt nervous and slightly sick. "I...I need to apologize to you."

"Well that would be..._appreciated_."Helen said, pursing her lips slightly.

Martha winced lightly and sighed. "Could I come in?"

"I suppose." Helen said opening the door for Martha.

Martha walked in, her stomach not settling at all. She walked through the hallway and in to the living room.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Helen said politely, although she looked like that was the last thing she wanted to offer.

Martha shook her head, "No thank you."

Martha turned to Helen, frowning slightly. "No need to beat around the bush...I'm really sorry Helen. I should have snapped at you or have been...so rude. I was just upset."

Helen nodded, remaining tight lipped.

"I hope you can forgive me...one day." Martha said with a small sigh.

"I forgive you. It's been a bit lonely without you to talk too." Helen said with a small shrug.

"Same here," Martha said smiling, "Have you heard anything from William?"

"Not since last time. What about you? Anything from Edward or Lewis?"

Martha shook her head. "I'm sure they'll write soon, all three of them."

"Men, huh?" Helen said with a slight smirk.

Martha broke out in a grin and hugged her friend. "I'm sorry for being a complete brat."

"We have our moments." Helen said with a small shrug, "Just as long as you're back to normal."

Martha nodded, pulling Helen over to the sofa.

"So, I think we have some catching up to do." Helen said sitting down.

"Definitely."

-------

_**Dearest Lew,**_

_**My family and I are well; there is no need to worry about us. It's you we need to worry about. we're not the one fighting in a war. I'm absolutely fine. I am now anyway. No doubt when you return Helen will tell you how much of a grump I was but all is fine now. I can't wait to see you again either, it's not the same without you around. **_

_**Hopefully it won't be too long until we see each other again. I miss you. Like I've said, it's not the same without you. At least I know you're alive and well. Not that I ever doubted that for a second. It's just reassuring to know. **_

_**Love, forever and always,**_

_**Martha**_

_**P.S I've got a bottle of Vat 69 waiting for you back here. If that doesn't tempt you I don't know what will.**_


	11. Highly Anticipated Letters

*peeks out* **Generating Excuse #021 **Ah yes, the dog ate my work. Definitely. No lies over here, no sir.

....... what do you mean you don't believe me?

Alright, I had school and illnesses and school and drama and school and guitar lessons and did I mention, School? Unfortunately soon I'm going to be having exams (D:)so school has been less than kind. In good news I have almost three weeks off! WOOHOO! Thanks for reviews, story alerts and favourites! They make me feel very speshul.

**I do not own anything except Martha and others that are clearly my creations. :D**

---

Three letters Nixon had written over a period of three days. All three were unsent, resting and collecting dust in his breast pocket. He didn't know why he felt this resistance in sending the letters. All he had to do was send them off; it wasn't anything hard or challenging. Yet he still felt like he couldn't. In the back of his mind, he knew it must have something to do with him feeling...inadequate. Martha wrote great letters, near perfect letters and him? He didn't know anything about letter writing. He was always more of a conversationalist, even if some people _didn't _agree with him.

"Nix, are you okay?"

"What?" Nixon said turning his head to look at his friend.

Dick narrowed his eyes slightly, "I asked if you were okay."

"Me? Yeah, of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You looked like you were...distressed."

Nixon shrugged, smirking slightly at his friend. "I'm never distressed; you should know that by now."

Dick raised his eyebrows, clearly not believing what he was hearing. "Right...that's why you're quiet."

"Quiet," Nixon screwed up his face slightly, shrugging, "I'm quiet most of the time."

Dick chuckled, glancing down at his watch"Yeah, you're basically a mute." Dick looked at Nixon wish a clear disbelieving look, "What's on your mind."

"Martha."

"I see."

Nixon sighed lightly, looking across to his friend, "I just...I don't know what I'm doing. I've written her a few letters but I haven't post any of them. I don't know why."

"I think its clear Lew, you're worried. I don't know what about though, it's pretty clear she adores you."

Nixon shrugged, "I suppose so."

"I think you should go and send one of the letters," Dick continued, "She's probably worrying about you...I could send them for you if you're that scared." He smirked lightly.

"I'll do it," Nixon rolled his eyes and smiled slightly "Thanks by the way."

Dick shrugged in response and looked down at his watch again. Nixon walked away and went to send at least one of the letters off. Dick was right, Martha would probably be worried and Nixon didn't want to feel guilty because of it. It was only a letter.

_Yes_, he thought, _it's just a letter_.

---

"Martha, there's a letter for you!"

Martha's eyes widened as she rushed in to the kitchen. "Where is it?" She said urgently, battling her coat of as she walked over to her mother.

"In your room, I put it on the desk earlier - calm down Martha! You're going to end up hyperventilating."

Martha was already out of the room, dumping her coat and bag on the floor. She rushed up the stairs the quickest she ever had and crashed in to her room. She almost squealed when she saw the letter on the table. She held it in her hand, relishing in the feel of it. An actual letter and not just one in her dreams or fantasies it was a real letter. Opening it carefully, she pulled out the letter and smiled contently. Her eyes scanned down the page in a quick pace, taking in every word of Lew's scrawl.

_**Dear Martha,**_

_**This is letter attempt number three. I probably shouldn't have told you that but I heard honesty is the best policy. There's nothing much more I can say that won't get blanked out so I'll just tell you this. I'm fine. There were a few disturbances and complications but nothing we couldn't handle.**_

_**I hope you and your family are well, especially you. I hope Helen hasn't annoyed you too much with talk about her husband. I swear I still get nightmares about her talking nonstop. She would be a great weapon against the Germans.**_

_**I miss you. Dick will probably tell you about the times I've been a misery. **_

_**With all my love,**_

_**Lew **_

Martha grinned and ran a finger over the paper. Lew was alive and that was all that mattered.

"So," Martha looked up to see her mother in the doorway, "How is the lieutenant?"

Martha beamed at her, "Perfect. 100%."

"That's good to hear. Are you going to send of that reply letter you've been fretting about?"

"I will just need to touch it up a bit, to make it perfect."

"I'll leave you to it."

After watching her mother leave, Martha pulled open the drawer in her desk and pulled out two sheets of paper. Smoothing out one of the sheets, Martha read through it with her pen at the ready to edit it. Crossing out and adding in a few words, Martha was satisfied. Almost as quickly as she had edited it, she had written it out again on a clean sheet of paper. Smiling down at her piece of work, she read through it once more.

_**Dearest Lew,**_

_**Letter attempt three? You shouldn't worry too much. Any letter from you is perfect and yes, honesty is the best policy. Its relief that you're fine but not as much that there were complications. I've tried not to listen to what's been going on; I don't want to worry too much. **_

_**My family and I are well; there is no need to worry about us. It's you we need to worry about. We're not the ones fighting in a war. I'm absolutely fine. I am now anyway. No doubt when you return Helen will tell you how much of a grump I was but all is fine now. Speaking of Helen, you spoke of some wicked but truthful things. She hasn't been too annoying. I think it's sweet in a way. I can guess you're laughing now. **_

_**Hopefully it won't be too long until we see each other again. I miss you. It's not the same without you. At least I know you're alive and well. Not that I ever doubted that for a second. It's just reassuring to know. **_

_**Love, forever and always,**_

_**Martha**_

_**P.S I've got a bottle of Vat 69 waiting for you back here. If that doesn't tempt you I don't know what will.**_

---

For some reason, Martha awoke early on the 13th of July. To her, it wasn't a special day, there was anything happening she just woke up early. She did the usual things like brush her teeth and hair, got dressed and ate breakfast. It was completely normal. She had a gut feeling that something was going to happen.

It came ever present that something was going to happen due to the increasing noise outside. Martha couldn't help but wonder what was going on. Slipping on her coat and shoes, she looked outside, surprised to see what must have been almost all of the people of Aldbourne.

"Martha!" Helen ran over, out of breathe, "I came as soon as I heard-"

"Heard what?"

"The Yanks are coming back."

Martha felt her heart flutter in her chest, "Are you sure?"

"Almost certain," Helen grinned "Maybe Nixon is in the lot coming back."

Martha nodded, making her way out on to the street within the crowds of people. Everyone was chatting excitedly but Martha remained quiet. However, her excitement built up when she heard cheering and clapping. She felt even more excited when she saw Soldiers marching by. The soldiers were lapping up the attention, grinning and smiling. The crowds moved forward, congratulating and hugging them. Martha stood back trying to find that one person.

"Martha," Helen tapped her shoulder, "Over there, look!"

Martha turned and a grin instantly spread on her face. She moved forward, pushing through the crowd. She had her eyes set on Lew, who was looking around hopefully for her. Pushing past the last couple of people she entwined her fingers with his, while the other hand made it to his cheek. Nixon looked at her and a grin spread across his face as wrapped his arms around her waist. Her arms went around his neck as he leant down and kissed her softly. Martha could feel his grin against her as he squeezed her tight, lifted her up and spun her around.

Martha giggled lightly. "I'm guessing you missed me."

Nixon set her down but didn't release his grip around her. He hugged her close. "Definitely."

"Good to hear." Martha said smiling against his shoulder.

"So," Nixon smirked, "In your letter, you said you had some Vat 69..."

Martha laughed lightly as she shook her head at him, "It's good to have you back."

---

Isn't it all very happy?

Bit too happy, ey? ;D


	12. A Lot Better Than Letters

Ah yes, hello there. Now you may remember me mentioning exams in the last chapter. Yes, that exam thing...well it turns out you have to do this thing called revising. Who knew?

So I have done one week of exams and another week to go. At least it's History next week which is goooooood. Except there's a ton of stuff to remember. Eeep! Sorry I haven't updated in a ridiculous amount of time but I've been panicking about exams and stuff. The first half of this chapter has been mulling around for weeks and I finished it off today. I hope it was worth the wait!

Thanks for reviewing, story alerting and such!

**I don't own Band of Brothers. *sad times***

**Warning: Mature situations ahead...*wink wink nudge nudge***

Smoothing down the wrinkles in her dress, Martha looked in the mirror for one last time. She couldn't help but smile. She looked different, more radiant and happy. On top of that she felt different. She felt happy, she felt radiant – she felt on top of the world.

Staring at her reflection, she smoothed out and fixed the small imperfections. Her hair was lightly curled. Locks of hair rested on her shoulders almost framing her face. Her moss green eyes were highlighted with brown shades of eye shadow, making her look mysterious maybe even seductive. Her cheeks were rosy and her lips were bright red. She was bold, making a statement and deliriously happy. If this is what drugs felt like, she could understand why people liked them so much.

Martha walked out of her room, switching off the light as she went down the stairs. She was alone in her household with both her parents visiting distant relatives for at least a week. Not only did that mean she had the house to herself, it meant that she could be intimate with Lew. Well, much more than they could have been with her parents around.

Martha bit her lip lightly at the thought. She wanted to happen, she_ really_ did. She wanted it to happen with Lew but that didn't stop the school girl fears. She had heard stories about girl's first times and really, none of them sounded that pleasant. Then again, who would willingly go in lots of detail about their first time?

A knock at the door pulled Martha away from her thoughts. She smiled brightly, grabbing her purse and walking quickly to the door. Slipping on her red high heel shoes, she opened the door to see the devilishly handsome Lewis Nixon looking back at her. A grin graced his features as the door open and in return she smiled back.

"Good evening," She greeted with a slight nod as she retrieved her coat.

"_Very_ good evening," Nixon smirked ever so slightly as his eyes roamed over her. With a satisfied smile, he offered her his hand, "ready?"

Nodding she slipped her hand in to his and squeezed, grinning as she did so.

Martha walked in shutting the door after Lew followed her in. Taking off her coat she hung it on its peg as Lew's arms snaked around her waist. Leaning back in to him, her head rested on his shoulder as he placed soft kisses on her shoulder, making his way up along her neck. Martha shivered involuntarily, revelling in the new found pleasure. She could feel Lew smile against her neck, obviously enjoying the state he was putting her in.

Martha turned around, his hands now on her lower back as she leaned in to kiss him. Soft, slow and loving, her hands went to his shoulders gripping lightly. Deepening the kiss, Lew pulled her closer their bodies touching. Martha pulled away regrettably, smiling playfully at Lew. Holding his hand Martha led him upstairs and in to her room. Nerves and excitement buzzed in her stomach as she sat down on the bed and looked up at Lew.

"Are you sure?" Lew said softly, running his hand along her arm.

Martha nodded as she wrapped her arms around his necks, pulling him gently down to the bed. She leaned up and kissed him almost hungrily. Lew ran his hands down the side of her body until they rested on her hips. Martha's own gentle hands rested on the collar of his shirt, slowly inching their way downwards. Carefully, she started to unbutton his shirt as her stomach swarmed with butterflies, feeling both nervous and giddy at the same time.

Pushing the shirt off of his body, Martha let it fall to the ground as she explored new bare flesh. Once again she could feel Lew smile against her kiss. His kisses trailed down from her mouth to her jaw as his fingers slowly unzipped the back of her dress. Martha felt the nerves in her stomach buzz again, her back now exposed.

Lew lightly suckled her neck as he pushed the straps of her dress off her shoulders. Martha squirmed in pleasure, helping him to take off the garment of clothing. Soon she was only in her underwear nervously smiling. Nixon's eyes took every detail in, a smile pulling at his lips.

"Beautiful," He muttered in a gravelly voice, "Just...perfect."

Martha relaxed blushing slightly. Deciding to take the next step, she swiftly took of his belt. She grinned almost playfully at him, beckoning him to continue the pleasure that she had felt earlier. His lips crashed against hers, as they kissed hungrily, trying to get as close as their bodies would let them.

Lew's hands roamed the bare flesh of her back, warming her with his hands. His lips attacked her neck, sucking softly at the most sensitive places. She moaned softly, her back arching. She closed her eyes, lost of ecstasy. She chewed her bottom lip as pleasure once again ran through her body. Overcome with new found lust she unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers quickly. He shrugged out of them and looked at her with a warm expression. Slowly he unclasped her bra, pulling the garment away from her body.

Shivering lightly, Martha look at him as his eyes roamed her body. Gradually he began to kiss down her body, a trail of kisses leaving from her lips. He kissed her chest, his tongue lingering over the moulds of her breasts. She shivered in pleasure again, closing her eyes as she did so. He suckled and nipped at the tender pieces of flesh like an expert as Martha revelled in the sensations.

Pushing him away from her, Martha rolled over so she was on top. Lew grinned lightly, certainly liking the new side of Martha he was seeing. Martha grinned back, kissing him hastily on the lips. She gave him a similar treatment that he gave her, leaving a trail of kisses down his body. When she got to the bottom, she smirked in a way that Lew had never seen.

Martha made a quick job of taking off the last garment of Lew's clothes, smiling as she did so. Once that task was done with she began caressing and tasting Lew's body once again, this time causing _him_ to be in waves of pleasure. Soon, her lips made it back to Lew's mouth, her hands in his hair. Rolling over, Lew's hands ran down her body, slipping her underwear off in the process.

"Ready?" He spoke softly, one of his hands caressing her cheek. Wordlessly she nodded, her legs opening slightly granting him permission without a word.

Gripping her hips with his hands, slowly he entered her. She grimaced lightly but remained quiet and still as he continued to move in her.

"This...this is going to hurt okay? Only for a second, I promise." He spoke softly again, reassuring her. She nodded again, smiling ever so slightly.

Thrusting quickly, he aimed to get the worse over with. Martha closed her eyes tightly, biting on her lip hard. Waves of pain rushed through her body as she stayed deathly still. Frowning as she noticed her in discomfort, he kissed her cheek affectionately, thrusting slowly in to her. She opened her eyes and smiled weakly at him. She silently urged him to go on.

He continued thrusting slowly while his thumb caressed her cheek. Slowly the pain went and Martha began to feel new levels of pleasure. Soft moans left her lips as Lew's thrusting became quicker, her legs gripping around his waist. Her hands gripped his hair as her moans became louder.

Beads of sweat fell from both their bodies, their breaths becoming deep. The air with filled with a riddle of moans and grunts. The feeling of complete euphoria and pleasure hung about, both of them yearning from a release.

Martha could feel herself reaching towards her peak. She bit her lip softly as she moaned lightly. She looked right in to Lew's eyes. His thrusts quickened as he kissed her jaw roughly.

"Close, so close." Martha muttered as she let out a small whine.

Lew could feel himself reaching the edge and with one final thrust, he let out. Martha squirmed, her whole body writhing. Her toe curled as she out a one low moan, shuddering as she came.

Minutes passed as they held each other tight, regaining their breath.

"That was,"

"Nice?" Martha offered smiling brightly.

Nixon chuckled lightly kissing her cheek. "Fantastic."

How was that? Okay? I've never done a scene like that before. Never. So I don't know if I'm doing it...right? It wasn't overly graphic but graphic enough me thinks. Please review!


	13. Thoughts of a Nixon III

See that? Yes, it is me finally updating! I know it has been a while. I've had school and...Well, you know the sorts. Now it's summer! Yay! It's too hot for British folk like me! Nay! So I've been caught up with a few things. Like my new obsession of some TV shows and new ideas for fics. I've got one that I've been building on a lot and that's going to be my next story. I've got a lot planned for it and I'm buzzing about it. Sorry for the odd choice of word but I'm watching UK Big Brother at the moment. I'm obsessed. I love it. I also had a Band of Brothers marathon with my best friend. We got up to Episode Eight before getting crazy so we kinda whizzed through the last three but my friend really enjoyed it. Although, she may have gotten annoyed because I fangirled when Richard Speight Jr. was on screen. I love that man (And I'm meeting him in October *happy dance) Anyway, with that nattering out the way, here's the update! A bit less exciting and it's a bit of filler but oh well. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews, they give me fuzzy feelings.

**I own nothing which includes Band of brothers. I do own an oat bar which I am eating. Yummy.**

The days seemed brighter. The skies were clearer and the air was crisper. There was something about England that created a piece of happiness inside of Nixon and he knew, for the most part, that was Martha's doing. She was his light at the end of the tunnel, the sparkle of life in his day. Just with mere thoughts of her Nixon instantly felt happier.

Yet, with all this happiness and hope surrounding Martha, Nixon always had small nagging voices in the back of his head. One of them nagged at him about the war, about how he shouldn't get caught up Martha, how he should keep his eye on the real problem. It told him that it was too good to be true. Another voice argued that he was getting too attached. He did have a wife back home after all...

Lucy Nixon would just not leave him alone, even when she physically wasn't there. Anytime he closed his eyes, she would turn up at one point or another, like a parasite. In fact, she even plagued his dreams that night after he was intimate with Martha.

When Nixon did wake the morning after, he was treated to smell of mouth watering bacon and sausage filling the air. At first he was confused. He sat up and looked around through bleary eyes. Martha wasn't in the room. In fact, the only thing that showed that she had been there was the pieces of clothing on the floor.

He ran a hand through his hair and then over the stubble on his jaw. He never was a morning person. Then, after a few minutes of adjusting to the light, he was awake enough to function. Nixon pushed the covers off and slowly began to get dressed, stretching out sleepy limbs as he did so. Then he made his way downstairs. The sight that met him made him stop in his tracks and just watch. There, like a domestic goddess, Martha was cooking breakfast with an apron on and all. She was quietly in thought as she cooked, he could tell from the way she bit her lip ever so slightly.

Nixon smiled and walked in slowly. He admired the sight before him. Then, as quietly as he could, he slipped his arms around her waist from behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Morning," He said. His voice was gravelly from only just awaking.

He felt her lean back in to his embrace ever so slightly, turning her head to kiss his cheek as she did so.

"Good morning," She spoke softly with her hands resting on top of his, "Good sleep?"

"Mmhm, I did. I did have a gorgeous woman lying next to me though," He said only lying slightly. He may have not slept well but he did have a gorgeous woman next to him which made things better. "What's this?" He said nodding to the food.

"I know you've been away for a long time but I didn't think you would forget what food was." She was amused. He could tell she was smiling. "I was going to bring it up but you ruined that idea by waking up."

"I'm sorry," He muttered nuzzling in to her neck, "What can I do for you to forgive me?" He said as he kissed her neck softly.

She sighed and shivered ever so slightly, pushing away from a tiny bit. "I have no idea."

"Really, no idea at all?" He kissed her neck again, this time for longer.

Martha moaned lightly, pulling away from him but Nixon wouldn't let her go. "Stop that," She giggled, "Breakfast will burn."

He reluctantly let her go from his grasp and instead went and sat at the kitchen table, never taking his eyes away from her. If he was looking at the scene as a stranger, he knew he looked pathetically in love but to be honest, he was pathetically in love. That worried him.

Nixon wasn't known for letting his feelings out. He wasn't known for being person that would fall in love easily. He was known for being sarcastic, drinking and being a good intelligence officer. Now, after being with Martha, he wasn't so sure of himself anymore. He felt like he needed to be something more. He needed to be something more not just for his own sake but for Martha. It was strange but he felt like maybe he could take the next big step.

The real trouble was, he had no idea what that next big step was. Time was running out. Weeks went by like seconds and his gut instinct told him that he would have to go at any minute. From snippets of conversations he heard, he knew his gut instinct was right.

So when Nixon got the news that he would be heading off in less than week, it wasn't that much of a surprise. He hoped it wouldn't be like last time, tears were hard to handle especially when they were falling from Martha's eyes. With that thought, he immediately set off for Martha's house. He wanted to tell her as soon as possible. He owed her that.

He knocked on the door, waiting like a good soldier should. He was in the at ease position, hands behind his back and standing up straight. Martha's parents were back. It was always a good idea to look respectful. Her father opened the door and smiled at him.

"Evening Lieutenant," Martha's father greeted, "Looking for Martha?"

"Indeed I am Sir," Nixon said with a slight smile but Martha's father noticed the uncertainty in Nixon's eyes.

"Bad news?" He questioned with a low tone.

Nixon nodded.

Martha's father sighed as he moved out of the way to let Nixon in, "I suppose you yanks are off again. At least she's prepared this time."

Nixon nodded once again, "She's strong,"

"That she is," Her father smiled, "Martha! There's a visitor for you!"

In less than ten seconds, Martha walked in to the room with a surprised look. "Lew!" She said happily, glancing at her father out of the corner of her eyes, "What brings you here?"

"I'll leave you two alone."

Nixon watched her father leave the room before looking back at Martha. An empty silence filled the air until Martha spoke again. "You're leaving again." She wasn't questioning him. It was like she was telling him. "Lew..." she spoke softly as she stepped towards him.

Nixon pulled her in to a tight embrace. He breathed in her scent almost wanting to savour it. His gut instinct told him he would be gone for a while. He didn't want to forget anything about her. He wanted to remember every little detail about her, like how she bit her lip when she was in thought.

What scared him about that was that by wanting to remember every detail he was hit with the sudden knowledge that he wanted to remember her forever. He wanted to be with her for a long time. He wanted nothing more but to spend years with her.

Which really begged the question, where would he go from there?


	14. Rivalry Letters

I was meant to update last week but I had no muse. Seriously it ran off. Sorry for any mistakes, they are bound to appear in this chapter. At the moment I'm on a cruise around the Baltic. Tomorrow I'll be in Denmark!

Thank you for the reviews, story follows etc, it keeps me motivated!

Enjoy!

_**Dear Martha, **_

_**I think you would like the place where I am at. I can't tell you where exactly I am but I think you would like it. It's Holland and it reminds me of Aldbourne for some reason although there are obvious differences. It would be a lot better if there wasn't a war going on of course. **_

_**We liberated a town. It was just amazing seeing the happiness radiating from those people. They were so happy, so relieved...I suppose that's what makes this war worth fighting for. When we got there, there was a huge celebration. It was like a parade. They waved flags, got out the food and drink. For a moment, I was wondered if it there really was a war going on. Unfortunately, we couldn't enjoy it for long.**_

_**If there's one thing I will always remember from it, it would be the colour orange. It was the colour on their decorations, it was the colour on their banners; it was just their colour. **_

_**I wish I could tell you more but I wish even more that I could be with you.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Lew **_

A warm smile spread across Martha's face as she traced her finger along the rows of writing, feeling every bump and scratch in the paper. She read the letter over twice more feeling a rush of relief spread through her. It was all fine and okay for another day. Nixon was alive. There was no more hint of panic in the back of mind. It was just complete and utter relief.

With a feeling of urgency, Martha began to think out what she would write back. She would be sure to comment on how much she missed him and how she pictured where he was. With these happy musings, Martha felt content.

All was okay, for at least another day.

Walking through the quaint village, Martha felt oddly at peace. Nixon had only been gone for a few weeks, not even a month and yet Martha had felt immensely sad at the beginning. She had luckily not fallen in to her cynical side but she did feel lost for those few weeks. Yet, with one single letter, she felt uplifted. She was slowly realising how dependant she had become on Nixon. It felt hard to be happy when he was not around and in some aspects that disappointed her. She didn't want to be one of those hopeless females, always needing and depending on a man to make her feel happy. Those thoughts troubled her.

With those thoughts in mind and her eyes not watching where she was going, it was inevitable that an accident would happen.

It was like she had walked in to a brick wall. Martha stumbled first, both confused and surprised at the sudden impact. Luckily, she didn't fall to the floor; a pair of arms made sure of that.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry, I just wasn't watching where I was going and I was thinking-" Martha spoke quickly, apologising the best she could as she looked up to see who had stopped her from plummeting to the floor.

"Don't worry its fine." A pair of intense blue eyes met her eyes and Martha found herself lost in them for a second. They were the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen. Wrinkles crinkled at the edges of the person's eyes, showing that they were smiling. That was when Martha realised she had been staring.

"Sorry," She mumbled blushing ever so slightly, detangling herself from the person's arms. Stepping back, she could see who her saviour was. Her saviour was a man. Quite a good looking man at that...Martha shook her head, as though to try and physically remove her thoughts. He may be good looking but he definitely wasn't Lewis Nixon.

The man was smiling at her; a twinkle was evident in his eye. Sandy coloured hair covered the top of his head, freckles dotted all over his skin. He had chiselled features and a pointed chin but none of those features compared to the attraction of his eyes. Martha found herself drawn to them. Such a unique blue...

No, she thought to herself, his eyes may be nice but Lew's eyes are so much nicer. They're brown like chocolate...

"Miss?"

Martha looked up, realising that the mystery man had been talking to her. Well at least trying to talk to her while she was too busy wrapped up in her thoughts.

"Sorry," She apologised again, "My head's just...far away. I've got a lot on my mind." She smiled half heartedly, trying to make reasons for her actions.

"None of it bad I hope," the man said with a warm smile, "Are you alright? You took quite a tumble."

"I'm fine, perfectly fine. Thank you."

He shrugged as though it wasn't a big deal, "It's quite alright...oh right, how rude of me! I'm David, David Tyler."

Something clicked in Martha's mind. She knew who he was. He was Dave Tyler, a boy that she went to school with. To her memory, she didn't know him well. In fact, it was strange she even remembered who he was at all...

_Those eyes..._

"I know you!" Martha smiled, "We went to school together. I'm Martha-"

"Of course!" He exclaimed with a grin. "I thought I recognised you. It's been a while hasn't it?"

She nodded, smiling with him. His smile seemed infectious. His bought his hand up to his, pushing away some of his hair. That's when she noticed the bandage that was wrapped around it.

"How did that happen, if you don't mind me asking?"

"This was a present from a German... can't say I appreciated it." He grimaced as he looked at his hand.

Martha frowned, already wishing she hadn't asked. It was an insensitive thing to do. "I'm so sorry. Can't you fight anymore?"

He shook his head, a look of sadness flashing on his face. "Bullet nicked a nerve or something. I can't use it properly. That and...Some other reasons are why I can't fight anymore. It wasn't good for me." It looked as though he was trying to convince himself that it was all for the best.

"I doubt war is good for anyone, soldiers or civilians..."

He forced a smile and nodded. A moment of silence passed with Martha staring down at her feet awkwardly. It was a common fact that Martha just wasn't good at socializing.

"Well," Dave cleared his throat, "Where are you heading off to?" His hands were now shoved in his pockets.

"The post office, I have a letter to send."

"You like writing letters?" It was an offhanded question but for a moment Martha lit up inside. She nodded almost vigorously and broke out in a smile.

"I do...there's something just...delightful about them."

A smiled pulled at Dave's lips. "You seem to like writing letters a lot...what about receiving them?"

Her thoughts immediately went to Nixon and her smiled grew bigger. She heard Dave chuckle lightly. "I'll take that as a yes." He spoke warmly, "Well, I won't keep you any longer. Have a nice day."

"You too," She said as he walked away. Her eyes were glued to him, just watching until he became a speck in the distance.

Martha felt guilt slowly spreading through her system. She felt like she had done something wrong. She felt like she had betrayed Lew and that made her stomach churn. Spying a bench nearby, she staggered over to it and sat down, a million thoughts racing through her head. She couldn't understand why she was feeling so guilty. It wasn't as if she had cheated on Lew, she had only talked to another man. It wasn't as if she liked him in that way...

_His eyes, _a happy smile spread across her face, _so blue..._

Another pang of guilt hit her. It was like a knife being stabbed in to her chest. She felt sickened again. What was she playing at? She loved Lew, loved him to pieces.

_It's only his eyes I like. That's not a crime is it? He's just nice and polite, nothing more to it...nothing more..._

Satisfied with her thoughts, Martha stood up and walked with an air of relief. It was okay, only a minor panic. She didn't like Dave, he was just being polite. It wasn't a crime to think his eyes were beautiful, it was just common fact.

Martha pushed open the door to the post office, smiling brightly as the little bell dinged. Her fingers left the lightly touched the peeling paint on the wall as she walked up to the desk.

_There's nothing to worry about, Lew is fine and I'm fine. I don't like Dave, he's just a possible friend...except, you're not meant to get butterflies when you think of possible friends._

_Oh lord._

_**Dear Lew,**_

_**I wasn't expecting a letter from you so quickly; it was a lovely surprise and a pleasure to read it. As always I miss you dearly, not a day goes past without my thoughts being occupied by you. You've left a mark on me Lieutenant Nixon and I doubt it'll ever go away. The way you describe Holland makes it sound like a wonderful place despite the war going on. I can imagine the celebration, the people and of course, the colour orange. You've painted a vivid picture in my mind. **_

_**I hope you're well and everything is going smoothly. I haven't paid attention to what's going on with the Airborne. It will only worry me, even if it is good news. The only news I need to the news that you're alive and well. I wish with each day that goes past that you're here with me and there wasn't a war going on. I truly love you with all my heart Lew, don't ever forget that.**_

_**Everything here is the same. Helen won't ever stop talking about her beloved and I won't ever stop talking about you. I think I've almost gotten as bad as her with talking. Don't fear; I'm still the same old Martha. Mother and father are well, as is everyone here.**_

_**I wish there was more to tell you but excitement is often lacking here in Aldbourne when there aren't the yanks about. Everyone misses the Americans, except the men possibly. I don't think they could deal with us women going all crazy around you lot.**_

_**With love and best wishes,**_

_**Martha **_

A few weeks later, Martha sat at her desk with a confused expression etched on her face. In her hands she held two letters, one which she was sure from Nixon and the other she had no clue about. Frowning as she checked over the envelope, she felt a sense of uneasiness fall upon her.

Gingerly, she opened the letter she was sure was from Nixon and smiled in relief when she saw the familiar handwriting. She read through it, her eyes scanning over the words quickly. His letter was short, obviously with nothing to tell or nothing he could tell. All that mattered was that he was alive and okay.

That's all that mattered.

Laying the letter to the side to be read again, Martha's eyes were drawn to the other envelope. She picked it her, her hands feeling the paper as though that would tell her who is was from. She proceeded to open it, taking her time to not crease or ruin it.

She took out the letter and began to read the unfamiliar handwriting, feeling both curious and excited.

_**Dear Martha,**_

_**I can't help but keep thinking back to the day we bumped in to each other. This might be forward but I can't stop thinking about you. It's strange seeing as we haven't seen each other for years yet now; my thoughts always seem to lead to you.**_

_**So, with this forwardness out of the way, I was hoping we could see each other again but with less falling over. It would be a great honour to take you out to dinner sometime and I hope you accept this invitation.**_

_**I hope you excuse how awfully written this letter is. I haven't written a letter for many years but after you showed how much you liked letters, I knew I had to write one.**_

_**Yours sincerely,**_

_**David Tyler**_

_Oh lord, _Martha thought as she placed the letter back on the desk, _oh lord indeed._


	15. Thoughts of a Nixon IV

Just a quick lil' update. The next chapter will be coming at you some when next week! Hope you enjoy and thanks for the reviews and stuff :P!

**I own nothing apart from Martha, her family and her friends.**

It would be an understatement to say that Nixon was confused. As far as confusion went, he was off the scale. He stared at the letter with a hard look in his eyes. His face held no amusement or happiness. It was just pure confusion.

_**My dearest husband Lew,**_

_**I guess that any letters you have sent have been lost in the mail or something. That's if you even wrote me letters. It wouldn't hurt if you could at least make an effort. It's nice to feel loved sometimes you know. Sometimes I wonder why we got married. It was nice when we started dating. In the beginning it was just fine. My mom loved that I was dating you. Both our families loved it.**_

_**It's like the second we got those rings on our fingers that it just fell apart. I bet you don't even wear your ring anymore...**_

_**I want to say I'm sorry. I want to make this work between us; I want it to be like what it was like before. I think you've just changed through the years and to be honest, it's put a strain on our relationship. I'm not saying it's entirely your fault though, I suppose I'm to blame for some. **_

_**The dog is okay if you're wondering.**_

_**If you get a chance of coming back home, please take it. I'll be waiting with champagne. **_

_**The house looks a lot better than it used to. You should see it.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Lucy**_

Nixon felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on him. He just didn't know how to react. He wasn't sure if he be happy or angry. Maybe the letter was a joke. Maybe Lucy was just trying to make him confused. This was Lucy after all, not even the fires of hell could warm her heart.

He read it over and over again trying to make some sort of sense out of it. It might as well have been written in Japanese. He couldn't understand any of it. A mixture of guilt and anger swirled inside of him. Maybe he should have written back. She was his wife after all.

_Wife, she is your wife. What about Martha?_

He clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white. He had to do something. He had to make a choice.

Pulling out a couple sheets of paper from his breast pocket, Nixon laid the papers out in front of him on the table. He needed to write to Martha. He was going to do that anyway but now...now what would he say?

_Dear Martha, someone wrote me a letter and I don't know what to do. Oh and by the way the letter was from my wife. _

That definitely wouldn't work. He needed to write to Lucy as well now; he owed her that much but what could he say?

_Dear Lucy, I don't want to write to you because I think that we don't work together anymore and that's because I'm in love with someone else._

In all honesty, that didn't sound _too_ bad...

Nixon sighed and shook his head, as if telling himself that he couldn't do that. He knew what he needed to do though. He needed to break it off with Lucy or Martha, his wife or his girlfriend. The person that made him miserable or the person that made him happier than he thought he could be. The person he was married to or the person he wanted to be married to.

The choice wasn't hard to make which somehow made it harder to write it out on paper. He wrote out the address of Martha's house on one envelope, Lucy's on the other. Slowly and thoughtfully, he began to write.

_**Dear Lucy,**_

_**I don't think we can't work it out. We're different to what we use to be like. I'm sorry but this relationship or whatever you want to call it is over. **_

_**Lewis Nixon**_

It was short but to the point. There was no point in beating around the bush. He wanted it to be over. He didn't want guilt to be in the back of his mind anymore. He just wanted to be free. He wanted Martha.

_**Dear Martha,**_

_**I'm alive and okay. Things could be better but it could be worse. I'm going to apologise now for how short this letter is. There's nothing much that I can tell you unless you want half this letter blanked out. I will just tell you that I love you. I think about you all the time. I'm crazy for you sweet Martha.**_

_**Whenever I'm feeling low I just think about you. I'm a changed man, all because of you. I remember the first time we met, our first date and that night...**_

_**I bet you're blushing now. I hope you are anyway.**_

_**I love you.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Lew**_

It wasn't long and it wasn't perfect. Whenever he wrote, Nixon always felt like it was completely unlike him. When he wrote to Martha it was like he was a teenage boy again. Actually it was more like he was a teenage _girl_ with the amount of fluff in it.

"Nixon," Richard Winter's head of red hair popped through the open door, "We're moving out."

Nixon nodded and inwardly groaned, "Alright I'm coming." Nixon stood and shoved the letters in to the envelopes, his eyes looking over at an impatient Winters.

Walking over with the letters in one hand, he picked up his helmet with the other hand and followed Winters out.

His thoughts seemed quieter now, more relaxed. Writing to Lucy had somehow cleared his conscience. He glanced at Martha's letter, a feeling of warmth running through him. Placing Lucy's letter in his breast pocket, he scrunched Martha's in his hand. He could write a better one for her. He would write to her when something had happened that was worth telling. She deserved that.

With a small smile in place, Nixon felt content.


	16. Love Letters

Okay this was meant to go out last week so sorry for how late it is. I plan on updating this story once every two weeks but now school has started again...we'll see how it goes. So my muse decided to be a surprise with this chapter. Things just...happened.

And...

Holy smokes Batman! I got lots of reviews for the last chapter! I was pleasantly surprised so thanks so much for reviewing because it really does keep me writing. I think I replied to everyone and if I didn't, I'm really sorry!

So yes, on with the chapter! Enjoy! (I use way too many exclamation points!)

**I own nothing but the mistakes I make (unfortunately)**

The cold brisk air was the first sign that December was there. Autumn passed quickly with a blur of golden leaves and rain while December brought the cool winds and grey skies. For once Martha didn't mind the harsh weather. It reminded her of happy memories of last Christmas. As with most things, it reminded her of Lew. It seemed like the smallest of things reminded her of him. Every song on the radio could be related to him in some way or another.

Gazing out of the window, Martha watched as people walked past getting on with her day. Aldbourne was quiet, much quieter than the year before. With no yanks about it was just a very ordinary place. Martha wouldn't make it any other way though, to her it was home and she didn't need any change from it. With change in her mind, her thoughts yet again were led to Nixon.

Martha would admit that she had been thinking more and more about her future with Lew with every passing day. She had been thinking of things like where they would get married and what she would wear. She had thought about where they would live together afterwards and a child or two had popped in to her mind as well. She knew it was foolish. There was a war going on and it could go on for years to come. What if Lew was in the Army for years and years, what would happen then?

"Martha! There's a letter for you!"

Her eyes lit up at her mother's words. The future could wait. For now she would live in the present where she received loving letters from Nixon. She wouldn't change it for anything except for Nixon being there in person and that was a fact.

_**Dearest Martha,**_

_**If I said I was missing you would be an understatement. I'm crazily missing you. There's not much to tell you that would interest you, no offence to you of course. I'm alive and well as can be in this war. The Airborne is doing well. We're a tough bunch after all...**_

_**I love you Martha, always remember that. I think about you all the time and I wish I could be with you in Aldbourne. I'm beginning to miss that place...**_

_**Whenever I'm feeling low I just think about you. I'm a changed man, all because of you. **_

_**I hope your family are doing well. Send them my love.**_

_**Love always,**_

_**Lew**_

Martha sitting in her father's chair reading when there was a knock on the door. Placing the book down on the arm of the chair, she stood up and started to make her way to the front door. She wasn't expecting anyone so it would be a surprise to see who it was. A part of her thought that it could be David which maybe wouldn't be a good thing. Luckily she hadn't seen him much. She hadn't replied to his letter either which she felt slightly bad about but she just couldn't bring herself to it. Anyway, she had Lew to think about and that took up _a lot_ of her time...

There was a knock at the door again which urged Martha to get to the door quicker. Whoever it was could afford to be a bit more patient...

With a smile fixed in place, Martha opened the door. Her heart skipped a beat and her stomach clenched almost uncomfortably.

"Lew..." She couldn't help but say it in a whisper. With wide eyes she looked over Nixon. It was like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Bringing her hand up slowly, she placed it on his cheek smiling at how it felt. "I don't mean to sound rude but shouldn't you be fighting in the war somewhere?"

He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling at the edges. "I've got a forty-eight hour pass so unfortunately I have to stick around-"

Cutting him off, Martha leapt up at him and kissed him fiercely on the mouth. Now _she_ was being the impatient one. Her fingers found themselves tangled in his hair, her body being supported by his arms. Slowly she pulled away with her eyes staring in to Lew's.

"Want to come in?" She stepped out of the way to let Lew in; a smile was now gracing her features. She watched as he stepped inside, his eyes taking in the familiarity of it all. She shut the door behind herself, leaning against as a million thoughts raced through her mind. It felt like she was dreaming. She felt light and happy, almost like she was floating. Lew turned to look at her with an amused smile and her stomach flipped. She had missed that smile.

Nixon walked in to the living room, his body relaxing with each step. Martha noticed how he seemed to be taking in each detail as he walked, almost as if he wanted to remember it all. "Where are your parents?"

"Away." She answered coolly, following him with her arms crossed across her stomach. He smirked.

"Seems like I chose the right time to visit," He looked at the various photos that were lined up above the fireplace. He picked up one and traced his finger over it. Looking over his shoulder to look at Martha, he held up the picture to her, "I like this one."

The picture in question was one of Martha. It was a fairly recent one. It showed Martha sitting in her room at her desk, writing a letter. She was looking up at the camera with a shy smile. Martha thought the picture was one of the nicer ones of her. Looking at Lew she smiled and shrugged.

"It's okay...I probably have a copy of it somewhere. You can have it if you want."

He nodded, his lips curled in to a smile, "I'd like that."

Martha smiled back at him watching him silently as he strode around the room looking at bits and pieces. After a minute or so of silence, Martha made her way over to him. Her arms hugged him around the middle as she leaned in to his back.

"Are you hungry? I could make you something."

"Maybe later," Nixon said with a soft edge to his voice. Turning around to face her, his thumb slowly stroked her cheek as his other hand got lost in her hair. "I've got something else in mind at the moment..." his voice lowered, sounding gravelly and eager. Something about his tone made her body shiver with anticipation. Her tongue ran across her bottom lip as her mind tried to find what words she should say next.

Her fingers ran up his body, over his chest until they rested upon his neck. Her voice dropped to a whisper and her eyes were filled with a mixture of lust and seduction. "What might that be?"

Lew answered her with a soft slow kiss. He pulled her in closer towards him until there was no space between them, just the warmth of their bodies. Lew moved from her mouth to her cheek, leaving a trail of kisses down to her neck. Martha closed her eyes and smiled in pleasure, her body buzzing with sensations.

"Maybe we should...maybe we should continue this upstairs..." Martha muttered in to Nixon's ear.

He moved away from her neck and nodded at her, looking deeply in to her eyes. Martha felt her stomach flip again. Grasping on to his hand she almost ran up the stairs and in to her bedroom, her mind ablaze with thoughts of what was going to happen.

As she fell on to the bed with Lew hungrily on her lips, Martha felt excitement spread through her body. She felt Lew's hands run up and down her body, softly and slowly running over sensitive points. His mouth attacked her neck with a passion, kissing and suckling at the smooth flesh. A moan passed her lips and Lew took this as a sign to go further. His hand trailed down across her chest and stomach to her thigh where her skin laid bare and ready to touch. Moving his hand up, it slipped under her dress making Martha shiver lightly.

She could tell that he was taking it slow, step by step. She could imagine him calculating what move he would take next or what technique he would use. For Martha though, as sensual as it was, she wanted to call the shots. Maybe it was a rush of adrenaline but Martha wanted to surprise him. With one arm she hooked it around his neck quickly and with help from her other arm, she lifted herself up until she was sitting on Lew's thighs, inches away from his face. A look of confusion flickered across his face but Martha left no time for him to think. She kissed him almost roughly and pushed him back on to the bed.

She straddled him her kisses now on his neck. Her fingers unbuttoned his shirt with ease and quickness. Brushing her hand over his bare chest, she felt his heart beat quicken and she smiled with satisfaction. She pushed the shirt off, letting it fall to the ground. She placed slow tantalizing kisses down his body, teasing him with pleasure. Her hands swiftly unbuckled him and quickly he was lying back in his boxers, a look of pure enjoyment on his face.

Martha started to undress herself only to have Lew helping her. He sat up, his hands pushing off the dress as she did so. They sat facing each other, their chests expanding with each heavy breath. His hands brushed her cheek as he leaned in to kiss her deeply. His fingers unhooked the clasp on her bra, letting it fall down her arms slightly. Martha took it off and let it fall to the floor, pushing Nixon on to his back again. She didn't care for teasing anymore; she was yearning for the next phase. She pulled off his boxers, putting them on the floor also. With Lew's help, she too was now fully. She smirked at him almost devilishly.

"What have I done to you?" He said with a low voice, his tone holding amusement.

"You've changed me." She answered simply as slowly lowered down on to him, gasping as he entered her. A quiet moan filled in the quiet room and it was followed by many more, each getting louder than the last. He thrust upwards as she went downwards, hitting new levels of pleasure. Her hands were on his chest if only to stop her falling from the pleasure flowing through her body. Their pace quickened, moans getting louder and their breaths shuddering. They went quicker and harder, sweat beginning to fall.

Her climax was building achingly slow, making her whimper and shudder. She felt Lew's hands move from her hips and up towards her breasts. Leaning down slightly, she gasped loudly as Lew's hands touch the most sensitive of places. She was close now, she knew she was. She felt Lew begin to stiffen underneath her, obviously almost there as well. He moved slower but harder and with a couple of thrusts Martha moaned out loudly, her body going over the edge. Her toes curled as waves of pleasure passed. She heard Lew moan loudly as he too met his climax.

Martha slid off him and lay down next to him, his arm draping around her shoulders. "We should do that more often," She muttered as she snuggled up to him. Kissing her on the head, Lew agreed.

"I wouldn't mind that."

A night and a day passed far too quickly and Lew had to leave her again. Smiling sadly, Martha kissed him one last time and watched as he walked away. He now carried with him some envelopes, paper and the picture that he wanted off her. She stood there, watching as he walked away from her again. Her heart ached as she watched him but she didn't cry. He would be back soon. Martha was certain of it.

She stepped back in to her house shutting the door behind her. She suddenly felt extremely lonely. Sighing to the empty house, Martha walked in to the living room. Glancing over at the shelf where the photographs were, something caught her eye. It was unmistakably a letter. She felt a bit of excitement rush through her. It had to be from Nixon. She walked over and picked up the letter, opening it as soon as her fingers touched it. Something fell out of the envelope and to the floor. Bending down to pick it up, Martha saw it was a ring. Her heart hammered against her chest.

_It couldn't be...no, it's probably just a present..._

She opened the letter quickly, her eyes scanning the page. Her heart missed a beat and her hand went to her mouth in shock. She placed the ring on her ring finger on her left hand. It was most probably the easiest and quickest answer she had come up with.

_**Dear Martha,**_

_**Will you marry me?**_

_**Love, forever,**_

_**Lew**_

_Yes, _she thought gazing at the ring, _I most certainly will Lew. I most certainly will._


	17. Truth

This is a quick update! Sorry for it taking a while, school is now overtaking my life once again. Thank you for the reviews, they power me up but sorry for not replying to any of them. My life has decided to be hectic!

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

**I don't own nuthin' **

The Christmas of 1944 was a quiet affair for Martha and her parents. There were no big surprises, no strange encounters or anything out of the usual. Although there was a pang in Martha's heart, a slight twinge in her stomach and the voice in her head reminding her of Lew and the Christmas before she didn't let that ruin her Christmas. The bug that she had caught on the other hand did dampen her spirits slightly. Yet, despite the throwing up and lethargic feeling, Martha felt relatively happy over Christmas. While she didn't have Lew by her side, it was just nice to celebrate it with her family.

Aldbourne was ever the same except perhaps more beautiful. Snow always managed to make things look prettier. Although Martha was thankful that nothing had drastically changed about Aldbourne, it didn't give her much to tell Lew. Lew had sent her one letter since he had last left and from what he said, it didn't sound good on his end.

_**Dearest Martha,**_

_**I don't think I've ever wished to be by your side more than now. Not that I don't want to be by your side always of course. It's cold here, really cold. I think even Polar Bears would complain. Spirits are low. What I wouldn't give to be back in Aldbourne for Christmas... I miss you and I love you. Send my love to your family. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. **_

_**Love always, Lew.**_

_**Ps. I'm desperate to know you're answer to my last letter, my possible fiancé. **_

While the letter gave her many warm feelings inside, she worried about Lew. Well, that was never different; she _always _worried about him...

A smile always lingered on her lips when she thought of Lew, her fiancé, her soon to be husband. It didn't feel silly or ridiculous to think about her future with him now, he felt right. She wondered when they would start a family or if they would maybe travel beforehand. Where would they marry and where would they live? So many things to think about yet she couldn't quite yet. She wanted to make every decision with Lew by her side. It was how it should be.

Along with that, Martha felt that Lew should be there when she decided to tell her parents and friends. That reason alone was why her engagement ring was in her room rather than on her finger, where it really belonged.

The seconds counting down to New Year's Day had Martha thinking about her life. She wasn't exactly the praying type but as the world was launched in to 1945, Martha had come up with a few prayers for once.

She prayed first and foremost that Lew and her family would be well. Secondly, she prayed that the war would come to an end- but she had wanted that ever since it started. Lastly, she wanted herself to be happy. She wanted a year were she was just content, no dramatics and no heart ache just peace. Even as she prayed for it, a pessimistic voice in the back of her mind told her it wouldn't be so.

"I've had enough of this bug," Martha's face held a look of no amusement; "It's getting ridiculous!"

Helen merely raised an eyebrow at Martha, bringing her cup of tea up to her mouth and sipping from it delicately. Martha continued to stir her tea, her mind on other things as usual.

"I just don't get why I've had for so long, it's been over a month now," She continued to complain, forever stirring her tea.

Placing her cup down on the table, Helen had curiosity and puzzlement etched on her face. She pushed back a stray piece of her before talking, "What sort of bug is it anyway? All I've heard is that you've been sick every other day."

Martha made a noise of disgust, "Every other day? Try _every _day. I just throw up every morning! It's getting ridiculous." She looked at Helen for reassurance that she wasn't overreacting but instead saw that Helen was deep in thought. "Helen?"

Helen looked up at her with a look that Martha didn't understand, "Have you thought that it may not be a bug?" The question was innocent enough but the way Helen was asking unsettled Martha.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean Martha is...well it sounds...I think you might be pregnant."

Silence fell between them, tension already rising. Martha chewed her bottom lip softly, contemplating everything in her head. She couldn't be pregnant. It wasn't possible; it just couldn't be...they used protection didn't they? Yes, she was sure of it...although she really wasn't. All she remembered was a lot of good sex but nothing about protection...they weren't that foolish though apart from the fact they were.

She stopped stirring her tea, the spoon clattering against the china cup loudly.

"That would explain everything." She spoke softly, trying to wrap her head around the idea. She saw Helen push the cup of tea closer towards her out of the corner of her eye.

"Drink," She said almost forcefully," A cup of tea sorts most things out."

"Unless this cup of tea is able to tell if I'm pregnant or not I don't think it will!"

Martha stood up and stepped away from the table, her fingers playing with stay fray of hair. "What am I meant to do?" She began to pace around the kitchen, "What am I meant to tell my parents? What if Lew isn't here when I have the baby? How do I tell him? By letter?"

Helen's hands fell firmly on Martha's shoulders and she looked her straight in the eye, "Calm down. You'll figure it out. You might not even be pregnant! It could be a bug like you said...I think you should make an appointment with the Doctor and go on from there. Your parents will support you and so will I. I'm sure Nixon will be thrilled." She spoke to Martha like a commander of a squad, in control and relaxed.

Somehow her words did relax her and Martha sat back down and sipped her tea while their conversation moved on to other things. Still, a voice was nagging in the back of her head.

Pregnant. She couldn't be...could she?

Martha walked away from the Doctor's feeling slightly numb. It was strange how one thing could turn her world upside down, strange how it could completely change her life a mere second. As she walked along the streets and roads of Aldbourne, she didn't pay attention to any of it. The faces were blurs, the buildings merely blocks of colour. Nothing but one thing was on her mind.

Martha was pregnant. She was with child. In eight months time she would have a baby, a child. She wasn't ready, nowhere close. How could she look after a child? She had to tell Lew but she had no idea how. Writing a letter would be both awkward and impersonal. She wanted to tell him face to face, not on paper.

_Dear Lew,_

_I'm pregnant._

_Love you, Martha._

It just didn't read well.

"Martha!"

Martha suddenly groaned. She knew that voice. Why couldn't it be Helen calling her name? She couldn't deal with-

"Martha!" His hand reached and touched her shoulder.

Sighing loudly, Martha turned to look at David with a deeply serious look. "David," She said unmoved, "What do you want?"

Confusion set in on his features and he shrugged casually, "I just wanted to catch up...say hello. What's wrong?"

"I just...can't deal with this now. I have a load on my mind. I'm sorry...maybe we can talk later?" She suggested. She just wanted to go home and cry. It sounded perfect in her head.

"Sure...I'll see you later than." David frowned as he waved awkwardly at her as she began to walk away.

Martha could feel his stare on her as she walked away. She didn't care. Her mood had hit rock bottom. What was she meant to do? The moment she stepped inside her house, she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She was home. It would all come clear now. It had to.

Lugging her way upstairs, she went in to her room and fell heavily on her bed, breathing in the familiar smell. Laying back on the bed her thoughts wondered back to when Lew was with her. Instead of being an act of lust and love, it was now going to be remembered as the conception of their baby, her and Lew's. It sounded...in all honesty it sounded nice.

Maybe it was happening in the wrong order, maybe she was dreaming of marrying first and baby later but...a baby Lew sounded adorable in her head. Then she had reality crashing in to her. It wasn't all that simple. Pregnancy was hard, giving birth was harder and raising a child? That was a challenge as well. The chance of Lew not being there along with her was also high and did she want to go through it all alone?

Her hand rested on her stomach naturally without a thought about it. There was a baby in her, growing and that sounded amazing. An actual life was inside her. It was mind blowing to some degree. She smiled at the thought. Was she really prepared to have a baby?

_No, _she thought, _but I will be. _

Weeks slipped by, each filled with their up and downs. Martha already felt like her hormones were going crazy and she wasn't looking forward to when they would really start going all over the place. Helen was the only one that knew of her pregnancy. She had tried to tell her parents dozens of times but every time she froze. She was still coming to terms with it herself.

Martha hadn't received any more letters from Lew but she hadn't plucked up the courage to tell him anyway. It was hard coming up with the right words but she knew she would have to do it sooner or later. She felt that the sooner she told Nixon, the sooner she would be able to tell her parents and maybe then, everything would fall in to place.

On a Monday morning in late February, when both her parents were out, she decided that it was the right day to write that letter. She woke up early, as if she was preparing for it. She did her usual routine, ate some breakfast before sitting down at the desk in her room and setting to work.

_**Dear Lew,**_

_**I hope that you are well; with every day that passes I worry about you. I found that lately I've been worrying more but with good reason. I wish more than ever you were here with me. It would make me feel a lot less alone and lost. Lew, I'm-**_

She stopped writing, her pen hovering above the paper. Taking a deep breath she continued.

_**Pregnant. I'm due in September. I hope more than ever that you're back before than because I just need you here. **_

_**Forever yours,**_

_**Your fiancée Martha**_

There. It was done, it was written and she was finished with it. It wasn't perfect but it was done on paper and that was good enough for her. Quickly, as though she would change her mind in a second's notice, she shoved the letter in to an envelope, ready to post it. A knock at the door halted her plans.

She sighed slightly and made her way downstairs and to the front door, opening it with a polite smile. A woman stood in front of her, her body tense and her face a mixture of anger and envy. The woman was pretty, blonde hair and blue eyes but the look on her face was unattractive. She was dressed up in best clothes, Martha was sure, since she stood up straight and perfect. Her makeup was also perfect, everything enhancing her features.

"How may I help you?" Martha asked uncertainly, feeling small under the woman's intense gaze.

The woman looked at her up and down as if she was judging Martha on something. It made Martha squirm uneasily.

"Are you Martha?" Her heavy American accent pierced the air. She bit out the words like they were poison in her mouth.

Martha nodded quietly, almost scared to speak at the intimidation of the woman.

"I have the right house then,"

"Sorry," Martha interrupted the woman, immediately knowing that was the wrong thing to do, "But who are you?"

The woman glared at her, a hand on her hip as she opened her mouth to speak. "I'm Lucy."

"Why are you here? I'm sorry but I'm a bit confused..." Martha said apologetically with a small smile. It didn't win over Lucy though, not by a long shot.

"Were you confused when you were screwing my husband?"

"What?" Martha cried out, certainly sure that Lucy had gotten the wrong Martha, "what are you on about? I think you have the wrong-"

"My name is Lucy _Nixon_," Lucy spat out each word, making her body tremble with fury, "the wife of Lewis Nixon."

Martha's world as she knew it collapsed around her in to oblivion.


	18. Downfall

First I want to apologise for how long this chapter took. It was one of those chapters that refused to be written and then I had school and...y'know the usual excuses. Thanks for reviews but sorry I haven't replied to any of them! I will try next chapter but yeah...I seem to be a busy bee at the moment x_X.

**All mistakes are mine as are any characters you don't recognise. The other more awesome stuff belongs to Steven Spielberg and all his gang. **

**Hope you enjoy!**

Numb, that's all that Martha felt. There were no other words to describe it. There no thoughts racing around her head there was just empty space. Later she would say that she was in shock but at that moment she felt nothing. Caught up in her own world she was barely aware of Lucy standing impatiently in front of her.

"Well?" She spat out loudly, her words covered in venom, "Aren't you going to let me in? It's time for a chat_ sweetheart_."

Martha stood back, allowing Lucy to walk in and past her. Martha stood there for several moments, tight lipped and unable to react. She felt sickened but she didn't know who with. She hated herself, hated that she was so naive and so stupid to not figure it out before hand. Did Lew actually mean anything he said to her? Was she just the other woman in his life? Hot anger boiled in her veins, all because of him but it was overpowered by a painful ache in her chest.

She shut the door slowly a soft click rewarding her for her actions. She turned around and walked in to the living room, being met with Lucy staring intently the photos lined up on the mantel piece. Painfully she was reminded on Lew doing that exact same thing months before. Martha watched as Lucy traced her fingers along the photographs. Of course Lucy was married to Lew, it was obvious now. Lucy was the drop dead gorgeous blonde girl and Lew was the tall dark and handsome man, together, a powerful couple. Not like Martha. Lucy was the complete opposite. Martha was the shy, timid and weak girl, never given a second glance girl while Lucy was the confident, smart and intelligent girl who stole all the glances from everyone.

"When did you meet?"

"September, two years ago," Her voice felt different, foreign to her body, " I didn't know he was married."

Lucy glared back at her, "That doesn't excuse what you've done. Any American soldier over here would seem single, it what all you pathetic girls dream about isn't it? Some 'hero' coming and rescuing you from your dull boring life-"

"I didn't know," She repeated, stronger this time, more control with her voice, "I swear to God. I didn't know. If I had knew...none of this would have happened. He lied to me as well as you-"

"Of course he lied!" Lucy was near screaming now, "It's all he has ever been good for! Every time he said he loved me, every kind thing he did, every compliment I knew it was a lie."

Martha stood frozen on the spot with her arms hugging around her torso as though she was comforting herself. Every word that slipped from Lucy's perfectly red lips came out harsher than the last. Lucy paced back and forth, ranting and arguing to herself. Martha felt like an intruder in her conversation.

"It was all good in the beginning, it always is. New love always looks like it's going to go on forever and ever but it doesn't. Right when we said ours vows, that's where it all went downhill." She stopped and reached out for a photograph, her fingers lingering over it for a second, "Why you." She turned to look straight at Martha. "I know we were unhappy but why you. Why are you better than me?"

Martha blinked, reeling slightly from the backhanded insult. "I-"

"You're not prettier than me. You're...normal like stupidly normal. You're a little limey girl and that's all." Lucy began to walk towards her, each word cutting like a knife, "Why does he love you and not me?"

Martha felt tears begin to burn in her eyes. She stuttered for an answer. "He...I...he probably didn't mean it." She felt her heart break, her chest twist painfully, "He doesn't love me."

She felt as if Lucy's glare could burn holes in her head, "Welcome to the club." The humour was lost on Martha. Nothing could be funny at that moment and she doubt it would for a long time.

Lucy walked over to the window, the light illuminated her features. Martha stood, feeling fragile as Lucy walked as though she was strong. None of it made sense anymore. Nothing was simple; everything was a riddle and an enigma.

"I pleaded you know," Martha looked at Lucy's sudden revelation, "I practically begged to work it out with him. I wanted it to work out so much." Lucy's voice wobbled, her face turned away from Martha, "Then I got a letter from him and I thought that finally it could start to work...of course I was wrong. It wasn't a letter for me; it was a letter to you, _sweet_ Martha. The stupid idiot mixed up the letters. His one to me must have gotten sent to you...or lost...or maybe he threw away."

Martha knew how Lucy was feeling. She was feeling it too. She felt heavy and tired. She felt exhausted. She wanted to go to the comfort of her room, get in bed and pretend that nothing was wrong but instead that everything was right.

"It's your fault. My marriage could have had a chance." Lucy turned her eyes red from unshed tears but her eyes were blaring with anger. "I was thinking we would start a family soon, I thought that everything was coming together. You're a home wrecked. "Lucy jabbed a finger at Martha's chest, "I can't...I can't even look at you." She stormed past her, her shoulder clashing against Martha's.

Martha stumbled backwards, her feet clumsy and unbalanced. She fell to the side, brushing against the wall as she tripped. It happened quickly; she fell on to the table and eventually landed on the floor. She expected pain but not the sort that made her want to scream. Her stomach was in waves of hot white pain.

_Baby, stomach, Lew, baby, stomach, Lew_

It was all repeating in her head, her concentration only on the pain. She didn't notice Lucy yelling for help, or someone else kneeling down beside her. Someone held her hand. She glanced down slowly, aware of the slowly increasing circle of crimson appearing on her clothes. Slowly black dots came in to her vision, and slowly they surrounded her until everything turned in to darkness.

Groggily, Martha opened her eyes. Bright light pierced her vision and she blinked hesitantly. Unaware of her surroundings, she tried to sit up but her body protested, resulting in her falling back on to the bed with a thump.

"Martha?"

She turned her head at Helen's voice and saw her standing in the doorway to the room she was in. Confusion must have been evident on her face as Helen walked over and smile sympathetically.

"You're in the hospital," Helen explained in a soft, calming tone of voice. Her hand gently squeezed Martha's, "I came as soon as I heard the yelling...I'm so sorry Martha."

What was Helen sorry about? Martha could only wonder. Her memory was vague and hazy. Why was she in the hospital?

"You don't remember do you?"

Martha shook her head slowly. She hated feeling so weak and vulnerable. She just wanted to know what was going on. She watched as Helen stood silent, deep in thought. Martha couldn't read her expression which worried her. Her stomach twisted in uncertainty.

"I don't know the full story, I'm guessing only you and the other woman do. Do you remember her? She was blonde, American."

_Lucy. Lucy Nixon. _

A dull ache spread through her chest and slowly she nodded. She remembered it now, nearly all of it. Lucy was Lew's wife. Lew had lied to both of them. Martha was just a toy he played with. He never cared about her; if he did he wouldn't have lied.

"She yelled for help and me and a couple of other people came in and...You weren't responding to anything. You were just sitting there and there was...was some blood. I think you were in a lot of pain and...Oh, Martha. I'm so sorry."

Martha watched as Helen battled with her emotions. Slowly it came back to her. She fell, hit the table and...There was pain. Mind numbing pain and blood, the baby.

"You had a miscarriage."

The words repeated in her head, over and over again. Each time it didn't feel real. None of it did. She felt tired, week. Martha wanted to shut off from the world. Silently she turned her head away from Helen and closed her eyes.

"Martha?" Helen's voice sounded broken, making the ache in Martha's chest more evident. "I...you need rest. I'll see you later." Helen gave her hand one last squeeze before walking away, leaving Martha to rest in silence.

She opened her eyes and let out a breath that she was holding her. It took all of her willpower not to break down and start crying. It took every fibre of her being to not scream and shout out. The lump in her throat was growing bigger and the bitter sting in her eyes grew. A single tear escaped, trailing down her cheek. Her hand rested on her stomach, a feeling of being alone coming ever more apparent. She was alone now. There was no future anymore just a path of emptiness, no longer with child and no longer with anyone. In her eyes, Lew was nothing but the past to her now. She wasn't going to be the girl to mope and cry about what had happened. She wouldn't let herself fall more in to embarrassment. Lewis Nixon would not be her downfall anymore.


	19. Thoughts of a Nixon V

First, apologies for the lateness of this chapter. School has taken over my life. Buuuuut, enough about that. Thank you for reviewing, I think I replied to most but if I didn't, sorry! I haven't looked through this chapter in much detail since I want to get it out and posted. So, apologises once again for the mistakes that are sure to crop up.

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**I don't own anything, yadda, yadda, whomp, whomp.**

When the tray of metal clanged against the jeep as the vehicle drove past, Nixon did not stir. Only seconds after did he fully realise what had happened. He turned back, his brooding anger glaring back at Speirs' bemused face. He turned back quickly, his gruff voice holding no attempt to mask the emotion he was going through.

"Here."

The jeep swerved and parked alongside the building which Nixon pointed out. They barely missed colliding two German girls but Nixon didn't have the energy to care. He jumped out of the vehicle, muttering simple thanks as he walked away. His head hung low as he pushed the doors open and walked through the house, his footsteps echoing loudly as if his feet were carved from stone. There was only a single thing on his mind, one simple objective he was about to achieve. He stepped in to his room, his fingers already twitching for the bottle to be in his grasp. His eyes were immediately drawn to the Vat69, hand stretched out to grab it. He grasped the neck of the bottle, his other hand reaching out for a glass. Brown coppery liquid fell graciously from the bottle, the contents swirling at the bottom of the glass. Before it had time to settle, Nixon brought the glass up to his lips and took a long deserved gulp of his favoured beverage.

Everything was crowding in his brain, biting like scorpions and buzzing like bees. He just needed to relax and forget. That was the mantra that was getting him through every minute of existence. He reached the bottom of the glass far sooner than he anticipated, bitter disappointment flooding his veins. He filled the glass up again, noticing that the bottle was starting to run out. The liquid burned his throat once again and as he placed the glass back down on the table, he didn't reach out for the bottle again although he wanted to.

Nixon strode over to the mirror, shrugging his jacket off as he went. He looked at his reflection, painfully aware of the stranger staring back at him. A long sigh escaped his lips, emotionless eyes staring back at him. Leaning down, in covered his face in cold water. He needed to get a grip, put his life back in control. Looking back up at his reflection, he saw no life in what his reflection.

"Nix?"

He could hear Dick's footsteps become louder; obviously signalling that Dick was on the move. Nixon wasn't sure whether he wanted to talk to him or talk to anyone but when Dick called his name again, Nixon replied. With a heavy sigh, he shrugged of his braces one by one.

"You dog," Dick's voice held happiness which somehow made Nixon feel even more shit.

Lew sat on the bed, his back turned to Lew as he preoccupied himself by pulling of the laces on his boots. His fingers were agile and quick, pulling them off with ease.

Dick continued talking, "Making combat jumps with the 17th while I'm in supply briefings all morning."

"Yeah," Nixon deadpanned, "Lucky me."

Dick pushed the subject further all the while Nixon was shouting inside his head, "Well, congratulations. You're probably the only man in the 101st with three combat stars over his jump wings," He could hear Dick walk away towards the door and Nixon couldn't help but wish he would walk away and leave him alone to brood and drink like he wanted to do.

Instead, Nixon tried to veer the subject away from the jump. He didn't want to think about the jump and he would rather not think about it ever again.

"Not bad for someone who's never fired his weapon in combat," He spoke as he pulled off the boot on his right foot and flung it at the floor. He moved on to his left boot, fingers yet again working at the laces.

Dick stopped where his stood, his eyes going to the back of Nixon's head with a slight shock, "Really?"

A moment of silence passed.

"Really, you've never -?"

"Nope."

Nixon pulled off the boot on his left foot, his mind at a loss of things he could occupy himself with.

"Even with all the action we've seen?"

"Not a round." Nixon replied as he stood up. His eyes were drawn back to the bottle of Vat 69, his fingers and lips tingling in anticipation. Once the bottle was in his grasp, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Perhaps that should have been a warning to him, a way of saying that what he was feeling wasn't normal but Nixon didn't care. After all, he needed a drink to set his head straight.

"So..." Dick began as Nixon poured the drink in to his glass, "How'd it go this morning? The jump?" His now softer voice was lost on Nixon's ears.

"It was great," Lew looked at Dick, nodding ever so slightly although his tone gave away all that he felt, "Fantastic."

He turned away from him, instead looking at the sunlight peaking through the veil of curtains. A sigh yet again passed his lips, "Took a direct hit over the drop zone. I got out, two others got out..."

Another rush of Vat 69 brushed his lips.

"The rest of the boys?"

Nixon turned around to face Dick quickly, a small bit of anger flaring up inside him. "Oh they blew up over Germany somewhere. Boom."

Dick faltered on his chewing, his only obvious sign of reaction to Nixon's less than stellar attitude towards the whole thing. "...I'm sorry," He offered, his tone noticeably different to before.

"About what?" Nixon merely questioned, bitterness seeping through his voice.

Dick shrugged half heartedly, "It's a tough situation for the –"

" Yeah, the boys. Terrible." Lew interrupted, "Oh well, wasn't me." His cheeriest smile was on view; the painful change of expression screamed out that it was all fake and artificial. His whole being was a show.

He finished off the glass and went back for another. That was the plan in his head, fill the glass, drink and repeat. Fill the glass, drink and repeat. Fill the glass, drink and repeat until everything was numb and the world was clearer. Drink, until he couldn't be fucked with anything anymore.

"You know," He continued, the conversation turning more in to rambling, "the real tragedy is, they also lost their CO so," He paused for a second, the bottle in his hand was now empty and the predicament of there being no drink left was extremely evident in his mind, "guess who gets to write the letters home?"

He sighed in frustration, throwing the empty bottle of Vat 69 in to the bucket of trash as he walked past Dick. "Goddamn nightmare." He muttered under his breath.

His words seemed to linger in the air behind him, repeating in his mind. He walked in to the large empty room with his eyes immediately where he wanted them to be. With no care or after thoughts of looking around at his surrounding, he picked up one of the few Vat 69 bottles scattered on the table in front of him. He picked up the first one, the emptiness mocking back at him. His fingers went to the next one and he felt the weight of success in his hand albeit a light weight.

Dick walked in behind him silently, the only sound coming from the shuffle of his feet. "I got a visit from Colonel Sink this morning," He spoke as Nixon poured what was left of his beloved beverage in to his glass.

Dick continued to walk around the table while Nixon sat down in the plush chair, the glass making its way to his lips once more, "And how is the good colonel?"

Dick scratched at his head lightly, perhaps out of nerves Nixon couldn't help but muse. His eyes held a serious light and by the way his whole posture had straightened up, Nixon knew it wouldn't be good news. Not that he cared of course. Caring was at the bottom of his long list of emotions he should be feeling. Who needed the disappointment of emotions anyway, he thought.

"Concerned." Dick's answer was less than straight forward. He looked at Nixon with a slight nod in his head, his gaze at the bottles. "Still drinking nothing but the Vat 69, huh?"

"Only the finest for Mrs. Nixon's baby boy," declared Nixon, his glass held up high for a second before taking it's right place at his lips. The liquid slipped through and lit up his taste buds like fireworks.

"That a problem up at regiment?" To anyone else it would sound like Dick was asking a harmless question, a question of interest perhaps. To Nixon's well trained eyes and ears, he knew Dick was more than hinting at something.

"What, this?" He asked raising his glass once more, "Is that what he said?" His tone held bewilderment but his brain wasn't really following suit. He felt confusion, plenty of it, and an increasing level of numbness. Like spikes through his brain, he felt anger rear its ugly head up at him.

"No, I just don't like it up there." He wasn't lying. At least in one sense. He didn't like it up there but he didn't like anywhere that didn't have his alcohol. He didn't like the world one bit

"Good." Dick's voice was louder than before, harsher and sharper, "You'll be happy to hear that Sink is transferring you to Battalion S3."

Nixon heard him, by God he did but his brain was getting number by the second. The impending doom of writing those letters was getting at him. All the letters he had to write. The letters to the parents of the kids who were now chunks of meat on German ground and the letters to his beloved Martha. Not even she could bring light in to his pit of darkness. No longer did the mention of her name give him hope. Everything, in his eyes, was fucked well and truly.

"What do you think I should write to these parents, Dick?"

"Hear what I said, Nix? You've been demoted."

"Yeah, demoted, got you." His words were empty and hallow. He continued with his last train of thought, "Cos I don't know how to tell them their kids never even made it out of the goddamn plane."

Misery. He felt that.

"Tell them what you always tell them. Their sons died as heroes."

"You really still believe that?"

Silence edged between them but not for long.

"Yeah." Dick's honesty was painful to watch, "Yeah, I do. Don't you?"

There was Dick in all his holy, pure glory and there was Nixon, sitting there rotting from inside to out, impure and sinful as hell itself.

He sniggered, a half amused smile on his face. It faded quickly. Dick's gaze became too much for him, so he turned away. His eyelids followed suit and came to a close.

Nixon was well and truly tired of everything.

_**Nixon,**_

_**It's over. I want nothing to do with you. Don't you dare write back and don't dare come back in to my life again. Your wife sends her regards.**_

_**Martha.**_

Fuck.

His scanned over the letter again and again, the words becoming a blur. It wasn't until he dropped the letter to the ground did he notice his hands were shaking. Nixon picked up the envelope that lay beside him and pulled out the ring inside. He threw the ring against the wall, his hands grabbing at his own hair.

"Fuck." He shouted out loud, kicking at the floor at frustration. He stood up suddenly, his body working without his mind's input. He needed a drink. He just needed a drink to get his head straight, one drink for things to come clear...

_They never do._

The voice in the back of his head mocked him, his own thoughts betraying him.

_Like you betrayed her. _

He kicked at his bed over and over, anger fuelling his motives. He ruined the only good thing in his life. How did Lucy find out? She had to have done something, messed it up for him...he shouldn't have dated Martha in the first place. He should have broken up the marriage first. Maybe if he had done that then all this shit wouldn't be happening.

He had to write Martha a letter, to explain everything. He walked around the room hurriedly, desperately searching for paper and a pen.

_Stop. She doesn't want to speak to you. Do you want to fuck this up more?_

No. He stood deflated in the middle of room. He didn't know what to do. He felt more empty and hallow than he had ever been. He felt a pain in his chest he had never felt before.

He felt numb.

One drink was all he needed, just one drink.

A trickle of liquid filled the glass and Nixon inwardly spewed word after word of absurdities. Speirs or someone was speaking to him but all he heard were muffled sounds.

"No, I'm out." He responded, guessing that was the right reply as he stood up. Long strides took him over to the table were a bottle stood like a shining beacon of hope. The moment his fingers brushed against the glass he knew he was screwed. It was light and empty, the thing he definitely didn't want. He slammed it back on to the table and continued his search. On his bedside, under his pillow, under the bed and in his footlocker, he searched the room in and out but to no avail. "Goddamn it," He gruffly spat.

Reaching for his coat he passed the other officers, "Deal me out of the next hand." He said as he shrugged on his coat.

Someone called after him but there was a rhythmic mantra in his head, drowning out everything else from the outside world. He needed a drink. A swarm of thoughts were in his head but that one stood out against them all. Martha? He didn't need her and she didn't need him. It was fine. Better in fact. It was good news, great news even. Now he didn't have to focus on those damn letters and he didn't have to worry about anyone else any more. He needed to be focused on winning the war after all.

The rain was pouring outside, a sudden chill creeping up on Nixon. Reaching in to his breast pocket, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He ignored the fact that usually there would be a letter from Martha sitting in his pocket. No, he wasn't thinking about it at all...he _didn't _need her. Pulling a cigarette to his lips, a flame quickly lighting it up, he breathed in and let the nicotine sweep his lungs. It was good. Almost as good as a drink. Which he still needed...

Walking out in to the street, the rain hit him with a force. Within mere seconds, he felt drenched to the bone. Along with the rain, he felt the sheer misery of his situation sink in. Who was he kidding? He needed Martha. He was physically in white hot pain and his heart ached like it was rotting with disease. Martha loathed him and it hurt. He didn't mean to screw it up. He knew he was doing wrong he just thought...he just thought his two worlds would never collide.

How could he let Martha get hurt? It was the last thing he wanted. It just never crossed his mind that he would be the one to create the pain inflicted on her. He just didn't...think.

Nixon stopped in his tracks, paused outside of what he thought was the liquor store. It must have been because after all there were bottles lined up in rows on the shelves shown in front of him. It wasn't open but that didn't matter. He would just have to make his own entrance. Throwing away the cigarette, he turned and picked up a canister of something and threw it at the glass. It shattered loudly and a dog barked in the distance.

It didn't matter. He just wanted his drink.

Walking in he knew he had got it wrong. It wasn't a liquor store. It was a drugstore. Jesus Christ, couldn't a guy just get what he wanted for once? He walked out back in to the cold night air, barely aware of the man that was shouting at him in German.

"Goddamn drugstore..."

Sulking off along the road, Nixon was aware of two things. One, he had screwed up the only good thing going for him and two; he had no way of fixing it. And that made him fucking miserable.

_**Dear Lewis Nixon, **_

_**I want a divorce. It has become clear you don't want to try to make this work. You cheated on me, Nixon and I won't let you have the satisfaction of breaking up with me. I'm taking the house, the furniture, the money we have at the moment and the dog. I hope you're happy with what you have done. **_

_**From, **_

_**Lucy Richardson. **_

"Jesus Christ," Nixon just couldn't believe it, "The dog?"

"Lew?" Dick called out with a questioning tone.

It was ironic really. Not only had Martha broken up with him but now Lucy? It was now becoming clearer how Lucy knew about Martha. He had messed up. Again. He had mixed up the letters that he wrote all those months ago. Fuck.

He looked over his shoulder at Dick who was following him. He sighed loudly, "Lucy's divorcing me."

"I'm sorry," Was Dick's automatic reply although both of them knew that he wasn't really sorry. No one would be. After all, Nixon did technically cheat on her. Nixon knew that fact very well.

"She's taking everything. She's taking the house, taking our stuff, taking the dog. It's not even _her _dog. It's my dog! She's taking my dog!" He was yelling now, throwing his helmet at the jeep with force. Dick gave him a look of concern as Nixon breathed in and out slowly.

Nix knew that he wasn't that angry about Lucy divorcing him. In fact, he wanted it to happen. He was mad at himself. Mad that he hadn't of divorced her earlier, mad that he had practically sabotaged his relationship with Martha from the start. He was pissed but he only had himself to blame.

Mere minutes later, when the chorus of men were singing as the troops moved out, irony played on his mind again.

_Glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die. _

He had screwed up a fair amount of times in his life but this had to be the winner. Where did he go from there? He had no idea.

_What a hell of a way to die._


	20. Apology Letters

It's unedited and late but I hope you enjoy none the less. Have a fantastic Christmas and I hope you get some of the Band of Brothers men under your Christmas Tree (Here's me hoping for a surprise visit from Mr. Richard Speight Jr. And Mr Damian Lewis.)

Enjoy!

The task of forgetting Nixon was harder than Martha had hoped. She wasn't stupid enough to think it would have been exceptionally easy but she was hoping it would have been easier. She wanted every single memory of him she had to be vanished from her mind. No longer were her memories filled with happiness and truths but now they were riddled with deceit and lies. Thinking of him made her stomach churn with both anger and sadness. The mere mention of his name brought fury to her eyes. She had not shed any tears over Nixon, determined more than ever to show everyone she was the better person. She wouldn't let Lewis Nixon be her downfall. She was stronger than that.

However it wasn't easy to embark on a life without Nixon. Her parents wanted to know why and how they broke up but whenever that question arose, Martha always found herself having to be somewhere away from her parents. She hadn't told them about the engagement or about the baby, she didn't want to deal with that heartbreak again. Instead, her feelings were locked up away in the back of her head. She told herself little white lies to help her get through the long days. She wasn't alone, she was an independent woman. She never loved Nixon, she was only ever attracted to him. She never knew the baby so therefore she shouldn't ever feel upset about it or ever be in mind excruciating pain thinking about it. That would be silly, stupid and naive, everything that she didn't want to be. Those lies were the foundation of her new life.

It wasn't just her mind that had changed; Martha was trying to change every little aspect about her. She didn't want to be reminded of the old Martha ever again. She wanted to be a new Martha, a new confident, smart and fun Martha. Her makeup was brighter, bolder and she walked with stride. Her hips rolled and her chin was held high. This was it, a new beginning and a new life for sweet Martha.

"Martha!"

In her head, she began to groan. She wasn't ready to deal with his affections just yet; it had only been a few weeks since...since...

"David," Martha presented a smile as she turned on the heels of her shoes, turning to face David as he walked up to her, "How lovely to see you." Her smile was big and bright, although not entirely reaching her eyes.

True, it had been only weeks since the incident had happened but that's what the old Martha would have focused on. The new Martha didn't care for such matters. Who cared if it had only been a few weeks? She would have to socialise sooner or later and that is what Martha was doing. It was now or never, and the old Martha would have chosen the never.

David's eyes seemed to brighten at Martha's cheery tone, turning a lighter shade of blue. "Lovely to see you too...I haven't seen you in a while, not been ill have you?" He spoke conversely, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

Martha kept up her smile, a shrug occupying her shoulders for a second, "I've been...busy and...a touch under the weather as it were." She looked up at David, her arms crossed over her stomach, "How about yourself? Been...okay?"

"Good, I've been good..." He replied, his tongue running across his bottom lip as he searched his thoughts, "Bit bored to be honest...I feel like I should apologise to you-"

"What for?" Martha cut in, sounding a bit bemused although she felt far from it. A tired ache played havoc on her chest as she spoke, inwardly battling her emotions. It seemed whatever she did, it reminded her of Nixon. It was as if he was a curse, always lingering with her.

David slowly rubbed the back of his neck as he searched for the right words to say, "I feel as if...I was bothering you and I'm really sorry about that, I just wondered if you want to go out somewhen but obviously I crossed my boundaries and-"

"I would love to." The words left her mouth before she could stop them, the new and improved Martha beating away any regrets she may have had.

He stood surprised for a second, his eyes blinking every couple of seconds as he processed the information. After moments of silence he broke out in a smile, a small laugh leaving his lips. "Well...I wasn't expecting that," He laughed again, making Martha smile a tiny bit more, "That's...that's great. I mean...how about tonight? Meet up for a drink down at the pub? Unless you want something more-"

"That sounds perfect." Martha interrupted again, thinking of the prospect of new memories. The pub wouldn't have memories of Lew any more; instead she would have memories of David. David wouldn't lie to her; he was one of the most genuine and sweetest people she had ever met.

"Perfect," He grinned, "Perfect...I'll meet you at-"

"Seven?"

He nodded, his grin becoming infectious, "Yeah...perfect...well, I'll see you later Martha..." He walked away, beaming as he went. Martha watched him walk away, the ache in her chest going away for just a small moment.

After he disappeared from sight, the ache slowly returned. Martha's good mood deteriorated and crumbled, pain and misery replacing it. That was her life now but she was working hard to get rid of it. Soon it would be gone, she was sure. Nixon wouldn't be a bruise on her heart for much longer, she was sure of it.

"Well?"

"You look lovely..."

"But?"

"...Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

Martha gave an exasperated sigh, turning to look at herself in the mirror once again. She saw Helen out of the corner of her eye lying on her bed, idly flipping the pages of the newspaper. Martha was quick keep her lips shut, as if to stop a biting remark from coming out of her mouth. Instead, she smoothed down her dress again, looking at it from all angles.

"If I don't do it now, I'll never do it...I have to move on at one point." She spoke softly, her voice holding a tone of calm. She said it as if it were simple and logical. Helen evidently saw it differently.

"I for one completely agree with that, you do have to move on and I'm proud that you know that but...it's only been a few weeks-"

"It's now or never," Martha interrupted. That was the motto she lived on. Now or never.

Helen raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow, her gaze hitting Martha on the head, "Well...it's not that dramatic. It's more like now or...later."

Now satisfied with the way the dress fitted on her, Martha sat at her desk and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Pinning her hair back, she looked back at Helen, "It's something I have to do Helen...this is me now. I want to be the girl to make a quick decision without caring about the consequences, I want to be confident and happy...If I don't do this now, it's like I'm letting_ him_ win and I won't let him do that, I'm not letting him have the gratification..."

Silence followed with Martha fixing her hair and Helen thinking. Slowly Helen sighed and got up from the bed, walking over to where Martha was sitting. Taking over, Helen began to make Martha's hair look as if it was crafted in the heavens. "Just...be careful, okay? I'm starting to worry about you."

"There's nothing to worry about...I'm fine..."

Although said with bright enthusiasm, Martha could tell that Helen didn't believe one word of it and deep done, Martha knew she wasn't either. But, to Martha's mind, pretending to be fine was easier than facing up to the real problems.

Martha felt the familiar feeling of nerves settle in her stomach. With every step she took, her stomach twisted tighter in to knots and the pain in her chest swelled. Was this a panic attack? She had no idea. She had no idea why she was so damn nervous. It was only David after all, he was sweet, kind and considerate. There was no logical reason to be nervous. Yet she was. Not only was she nervous, she was scared. Terrified even. It felt too soon, like everything was about to crash at her. She looked stopped outside the pub, the noise within tearing at her. She was pretty sure she was shaking. All she had to do was turn around and leave, then it would be alright...except it wouldn't. By leaving, she would be failing herself and she promised she wouldn't do that. She wasn't weak anymore...

"Well, fancy seeing you here..."

Never had she been more thankful to hear David's voice. The nerves vanished completely and a rare smile found its way on her face. Martha turned to look at David with a bright smile which he gladly returned. He was looking as...well, as perfect as could be. His blue eyes yet again drew her in. He held out his hand for her to take which she graciously did, smiling slightly at the warmth on her cold skin. Without another word, he led her in to the pub, making his way through the crowded spaces. Finding a vacant table, David pulled out chair for Martha acting like a perfect gentleman. Once sat, he went to get them drinks, leaving Martha to muse over her thoughts.

It was...nice. The way David looked at her, spoke to her, the way he made her feel was nice. The troubling thought was, that was all it felt. Nice. Nothing more and nothing less. Martha just hoped it would turn in to something more, if only to keep her sanity intact. After all, it was only early days. With Lew though, it was entirely different from the start...she didn't want to think about it yet she couldn't help it. With Lew she felt so nervous yet...excited and deliriously happy. With David on the other hand, it was just nice.

She could remember when she first talked to Lew vividly, almost every detail was etched in to mind yet with David...she could remember a sentence at the most. It unnerved her. She wanted nothing more than to fall head over heels in love with David, just like with Lew...except, she never loved Lew...it was only attraction.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Martha jumped in her seat, startled at David's voice. She looked up at him almost apologetically as he sat down, placing a glass of water down in front of her. "I was off in my own world," She said with a small shrug.

"I'm not that boring am I?" He asked with a slight mischievous smile.

"Of course not," Martha smiled politely, sipping at her water.

Conversation got under way but Martha found herself sitting back and listening, rather than add anything to it herself. Her thoughts were else were. She barely heard the words he was uttering, unknowing to where the conversation was going. The ache in her chest was getting worse, her thoughts be taken over by Lew. Frustrated tears were gathering in her eyes. Why couldn't she just forget him? Why wouldn't he just leave her alone?

"...are you okay?"

She looked up, sniffing involuntarily suddenly realising that she was almost crying in public. David's eyes were looking at her almost pityingly, concerned riddled in his face. "Do you want to get out of here?"

She nodded slowly, letting David take her hand and lead her out the pub. The faces that passed her were turning in to blurs and all she could focus on were the memories that were flashing in front of her eyes. It was as if she could think of nothing else but Lewis Nixon and she loathed herself for it. Why was she so weak? Why couldn't she just win this time? Didn't she deserve it?

Martha gripped David's hand for what felt like her life as they walked through the streets of Aldbourne. The minutes that went passed merely felt like seconds. She felt like crying or collapsing or both. It was becoming too much to handle and the worst thing was she didn't understand why it hurt so much. The pain was unbearable and she just couldn't understand why.

"We're here," David's soft voice bought her out of her misery and she smiled gratefully at him. In what felt like seconds they were standing outside her house and she couldn't be more grateful. She just wanted to get in to bed and hid under the covers and therefore the world. It sounded like complete and utter bliss.

"Thank you...I'm sorry..." She said, her voice sounding pathetically weak.

"Its fine," His smile seemed to radiate her, making her feel a bit warmer inside.

Their eyes connected and they stood in silence, just staring at each other. Martha felt his hand slowly carress her cheek and she became painfully aware of how close their faces were. She felt his soft lips over hers, a loving hand placed on her back. Her eyes came to a close and a warm feeling spread inside her.

_Lew..._

Her eyes shot open and she pulled away abruptly. She moved away from him quickly, throwing a goodnight behind her as she shut the door in his face. She somehow made it in to her room with her shoes kicked off her feet. Martha collapsed on to the bed, the springs in the mattress squeaking in protest. A deep breath escaped her lungs, her eyes shutting. Sleep was the remedy she needed. She needed to get away from it all.

Nixon would not be her downfall...

_**Martha,**_

_**I don't know what I can do or say because truthfully there is nothing to excuse my behaviour. I want it excused. I fucked it up and I'm sorry. If I have to I will tell you every minute of the day that I'm sorry. I love you Martha, I've never loved anyone as much as you and I hate myself for fucking this up. Please just say you'll at least speak to me again; at least tell me face to face that you hate me. Please. **_

_**Lew.**_

To say it felt like a slap in the face would be an understatement. She felt anger twist inside of her, as well as a strong desire to scream. How dare he do this to her? Couldn't he just accept her wishes? She wanted nothing to do with him, he was in her past. Didn't he understand that?

She tore the letter up and threw it away. In her mind, it had never happened. None of it happened. She never knew a Lewis Nixon, never had a relationship, never got pregnant, never had miscarriage, never had any of it. It was all based on lies anyway...

Emotions built up inside her, all of them wanting to break free but she didn't let them. She wouldn't let Lew win. Not this time. It began to hurt, the aches and pains in her body screamed at her yet she didn't budge. It was unhealthy, a voice in the back of her head knew so yet Martha didn't care. In some strange way, she wanted it to hurt because it was better than not feeling anything at all.

A week passed and she didn't let it out. Another week passed and she didn't budge. She was strong now.

Helen was getting more worried about her, as were her parents. David had come round to see her but every time he was met with a door shut in her face. In Martha's mind, she didn't need anyone. They were making her weak and she needed to be strong.

It was a sunny afternoon when it all changed. She was outside in the front garden doing some gardening when she was hit with the full force of memories. For some reason, doing the gardening reminded her of when she tried to knit which then reminded her of Lew and his stupid face. Before she knew it, she was feeling overwhelmed with the weight of memories that attacked her. Then the worst thought of all attacked her with full force. The baby.

She had put off thinking about the baby because it hurt her much more than it hurt thinking about Lew. When she thought of the baby, it felt as if her gut had been hit with a canon ball. She regretted not telling Nixon right away but most of all...she hated herself for losing the baby. If she had been stronger perhaps or...she sure she could have done something to prevent it.

Martha stood up quickly, rushing her way in to the house. That's how she reacted every time she thought about the baby, she ran away from her feelings or at least she tried to. When she reached the door way, a voice behind her made her jump.

"Long time no see stranger."

That voice. She turned around, her eyes wide for the person standing in front of her was her brother. The brother whose letters had become less frequent, the brother who she was immensely proud of but most of all the brother she had been desperately needing for a while. He looked the same yet older, more mature. He was smiling although a few scars were on his face, his arm bandaged and in a sling close to his chest.

She started moving towards him, her legs taking control. Before she knew it she was openly crying, tears running thick and fierce down her face. Then she was on the ground, on her knees, sobbing so hard it hurt her chest. Her brother's good arm surrounded her as he held her close to his chest and let her cry. She was crying about anything and everything but most of all she was crying about Lew. She had broken a promise to herself, she was crying over him yet she didn't care. She needed that release. The emotions were flooding out of her and her brother was there to help pick up the pieces.

For the first time in a while, she wasn't lying to herself. She would get better but it would take time...there would be tears, a ton of them but it was the healing process. For now, she let herself be comforted by Edward and not care about consequences. Nixon would be her downfall but without a downfall, she wouldn't be able to rise

Yay for cheesy last line?


	21. Thoughts of a Nixon VI

As you probably know Major Dick Winters died on the 2nd of January. He was, and I still feel is, a very inspirational person. If there's one thing I'll carry with me from this is his words of wisdom._ 'Hang Tough- Never, ever give up'_

This chapter is short. No point denying it, it's really short. This chapter did not want to get written, which is why it has taken me ages to get it out. I assure you the next chapter will be far better and far longer. I wish I could say that the next chapter will be posted really soon but, school really does hate me. I will try my hardest though!

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I love 'em :D

**I own nothing of the Band of Brothers variety and have nothing but respect for the real men of Easy Company. This is just but a work of fiction. **

On the 7th May 1945, the German Army surrendered. On May 8th 1945, Major Dick Winters announced the news to Lewis Nixon and a few others. On VE Day, Nixon felt better than he had done in months and it wasn't just the fact he had seen Goering's stash of alcohol or the fact he was actually able to..._liberate_ the alcohol. There was no point in assuming alcohol wasn't a big part of his life anymore because it simply wasn't true. It 'helped' him get through the harder days but for the first time in a while, he was looking at the brighter and better things in life. For example, he had lived through the war with hardly any scratches or scars, physical ones anyway. He was surrounded by comrades and he was in possible one of the most beautiful countries he had come across. All the Nixon's were experienced to some extent when it came to travelling but Lewis was sure Austria was the most aesthetically pleasing place he had ever been too.

It was almost a relief to feel happiness again. He hadn't been all that familiar with the emotion for a long time. True, he wasn't as happy as he was when he was with Martha but that wasn't something he wanted to think about all too much. It was in the past now and there was nothing he could do about it. For the moment, he was focusing on the good. At least that way he could keep part of his sanity.

The winning of the war didn't come without troubles, everyone knew that. The strange thing was, Nixon's troubles didn't arrive until near the end. When the troubles started, they didn't seem to stop. He became depression's best friend, alcohol his lord and saviour. Now, things were looking up. He couldn't really pinpoint when this positivity came to be but he would guess it was around the time they...'liberate' that concentration camp.

The images were burned in to his brain whether he wanted them or not. He could vividly remember how he felt and what he saw. The smell still lingered and the taste of death had been imprinted on him. He didn't want those memories. He didn't want to remember what he saw. But somehow, that whole horrific thing had made him changed perspective. His life was miserable, shit and fucked but it was nothing compared to what those people had gone through. Who was he to whine over his failed relationships, when those people had been brutally treated for just being Jewish? He hadn't suffered as much as them. For feeling the way he did, Nixon couldn't help but feel ashamed. Compared to them, he had had the easiest of times.

Positivity was what was going to get him out of the mess he had created. Now with the war over, he could focus on getting his life back. This whole end of the war was starting to put his life in perspective. He would be going back to America, back home. He would have to go back to his old life that seemed all too far away and different now. That old life didn't even seem much of a 'life' anymore.

But it was sure as hell better than the life he had been living for some time.

Lew didn't have any big plans for when he returned to America. He planned on eating the best hot meals he could find, relaxing in the luxury he used to be accustomed too and drinking the finest Vat 69 around. At least, that's what he planned on doing first. He was the complete opposite of naive and he knew that he would have to do...something. The easiest something he could was work at the Nixon Nitration works in Nixon New Jersey. That was partly why, when he brought up the conversation of futures with Dick, he offered him a job. Although he wouldn't exactly admit it to its fullest extent, he needed Dick. It was strange how two men of two different backgrounds, values and morals were as close as they were. Dick provided the backbone that Lew sometimes lacked and that all knowing guidance Lew so desperately craved. If he could, Nixon would do almost anything to keep his friend close by.

For now though, he would leave Dick to think about it all. He may have had part of his future sorted out but there was the whole big mess to figure out as well. Lew was completely thoughtless as to what to do. Martha had made her feelings clear and he respected that. He wished he could just stay away, just leave her alone like she wanted but he was sure that would prove to be impossible. If things between them had to end, they had to end but Nixon needed to apologise to her. Face to face, like a man. Letters could only go so far and, as proven, letters could cause more harm than good. He also needed to speak to Lucy, face to face. He needed that weight to be lifted off from his shoulders. He needed that mind crushing guilt he carried to go away but most all, he _wanted _to fix things.

He had tried to lie to himself, saying he didn't love Martha anymore and that it didn't mean anything to him. It meant everything to him. He loved Martha more than he could show.

Sitting on the raised rock, his legs dangling over the water, Lew looked at the picture showing the young man he used to be. If he could even call himself a man back then, he was more like a child on reflection. He turned his head to look at Dick as his strong breaststroke powered him through the water. Once his feet could reach the bottom, Dick began to walk and wade his way through.

"Towel, towel, towel!" He repeated to Nixon who threw him his towel, "Thanks."

Nixon flipped the photograph and raised it up to show Dick, "Take a look at these two kids." He said with an almost disbelieving look, "What the hell happened to them?" A smile left small crinkles in his face; he looked at the photograph again.

"New Jersey, huh?" Dick questioned, looking up at Nixon.

Nixon placed the photograph beside him, thoughts beginning to race through his head. His face remained blank, although his thoughts were in some turmoil. He couldn't help but wish Dick would take up his offer. He wasn't sure how he would function without his friend.

"Yeah," He said trying to look both unaffected and persuading, "Think about it."

"Yeah, I am." Dick said as he continued to dry himself off, his eyes squinting in the sunlight, "You awake yet?" He asked with a ghost of a smirk.

Nixon chuckled lightly, turning his face away, "Awake?" He said as he untangled his limbs and stood up, "Time to go to bed."

He looked over at the lake, a boy like idea captivating his thoughts. It was stupid and completely random. He didn't know why but he just wanted to jump in to the lake. He was fully clothed, barely awake and with a mind that was riddled with problems needing to be fixed but he wanted to do it. He glanced at Dick, wondering why the hell he was contemplating doing it. Then, before his mind could comprehend, he dived in to the freezing cold water.

He was going to do it, he thought. In that moment, Nixon couldn't help but know that he was going to fix everything. He wouldn't let Martha down again. That, was in the past.


	22. Wish it was Letters

Sorry it took ages but here it is! Only a few more chapters to go and then this story will be finished and complete. Thank you for reviewing and reading!

**I do not own anything apart from my wonderful creations. **

7th of March 1945, the day before the officially declared VE day was when victory and joy spread out in Aldbourne and across the United Kingdom. Walking in to the village with her arm linked up with Edward's, Martha could see things were already changing. The world seemed brighter, more colourful and vibrant. The air seemed different. The whole atmosphere felt like it was screaming out in delightful triumph and Martha welcomed it wholeheartedly. People were slowly starting to fill out the streets and shops were opened, decorated in banners and dressed up in colours. Friendliness was at an all time high. Martha embraced it.

"Isn't it just refreshing?" Edward's voice interrupted her thoughts but since it was her brother, Martha didn't mind. In fact, she smiled brightly up at him and for once it was a real, unforced smile.

"It is...its perfect." Edward squeezed her hand as she spoke, a warm smile on his face.

It was obvious that Edward had been her knight in shining armour. He was probably the only person capable of helping her in the way she needed to be helped. He didn't make it seem like it was an effort to care for her and she didn't feel like a nuisance when he did help her. She loved having him back home, back where he belonged. It made her feel like the war had never happened and that Nixon didn't happen. It was like it was before all the mess began.

"Speaking of perfect, here comes _Mr. Perfection_ himself," Edward's sarcastic drawl caused Martha to hit him lightly on the arm, telling him to stay quiet as a welcoming David made his way over to them to the ever growing crowd of people appearing on the street.

His breathless voice met their ears before his physical presence stood before them, "Martha! Good morning!" His upbeat tone couldn't help but be heard as a bit fake to Martha's ears but she smiled politely back at him.

"Morning," She spoke with a small smile, "David this is my brother Edward, Edward this is my...friend David." She stepped back as she introduced the two and pretended to not notice the way that David's face had fell at the mention of him being just a friend. No, she didn't notice that at all.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet Martha's brother," David spoke as he shook Edward's hand, a polite smile gracing his features. Edward's own face held an amused smirk.

"Please," Edward's voice was loud and laced with joyfulness. To Martha's trained ears, she knew he was teasing David, "the pleasure is all mine."

David didn't seem fazed by it; he continued to smile politely even after the handshake was over and done with. Martha stood awkwardly, looking at David with a small although slightly fake smile while David smiled back at her. They stood in silence, neither of them too sure what to say next. Edward interrupted the silence, saying that he was going over to catch up with friends. As he walked away, Martha watched him feeling slightly annoyed that he was leaving her in an awkward situation.

"So..." David said, drawing Martha's attention back to him, "How have things been?"

_Well after leaving you without a word after we kissed, I've been in the throes of depression. It's been wonderfully upsetting, thank you for asking. What about you?_ That was what Martha really wanted to say but instead Martha opted to say, "It's been fine. How about you?"

"Okay," He shrugged with a slightly pained smile, "I've been missing you though..."

Martha smiled sadly, unsure of what to say. It was painfully obvious that David really liked her and while Martha appreciated it, she didn't exactly feel the same way. It annoyed her more than anything. Here was one of the sweetest, most genuine men she had met yet she didn't feel...anything. The kiss had been nice and there was no denying that. After that, she no longer got those tingles of nerves and or of anticipation. She wished she felt something for him. She truly did.

"I'm sorry for not saying anything to you and for leaving you after...well, you know." Martha's apology sounded pathetic to her ears but David shrugged at her, muttering things along the lines that it was okay and he understood.

"I would really like to take you out again...if that's all right." David said with a hopeful look which made Martha feel like the most horrible person in the world.

She wanted to say no or that she'll think about it but instead she said, "Sure that sounds nice."

_Stupid, stupid Martha, _she thought, _you'll just end up getting his hopes up. _

"Great...that's great...how about we just go for a walk? No pub or stuffy rooms...just us and the country side." He grinned at her, his eyes twinkling.

Martha smiled back at him politely but the smile failed to reach her eyes. None the less she nodded, "Sounds great."

"Perfect, I'll pick you up on Sunday morning then."

"Great," She repeated with a small nod and tight lipped smile," I'll see you then."

Martha really wished she liked him more. She truly did.

"So...let me get this straight," Helen leaned back against her chair, her arms crossed in front of her chest, "On your first date with David you kissed him and subsequently ran away from him-"

"Don't say 'run away'. That sounds terrible." Martha sighed sadly as Helen put up her hand as a way of telling her to shush.

"As I was saying, you _ran away _from him. Now he is taking you out on another date in a couple of days but you don't want to go because you don't like him in that way because you're still in love with Lew-"

"Don't say it." Martha interrupted hurriedly, "Don't say _his_ name. Not yet...not now...anyway, I'm not in love with him." A part of Martha knew it was stupid to try and argue Helen. She had a way of usually being right.

Helen sighed and apologised quickly but continued anyway, "You're still in love with him and David's in love with you. I have to say the war has done strange things to your love life."

"Thanks," Martha muttered sarcastically but Helen ignored her and instead pushed the freshly poured cup of tea towards Martha all the while sipping her own cup of tea.

A couple of seconds later, Helen decided to give her advice. "I think you need to break it off with David." It was blunt, straight to the point and true but it didn't make Martha want to hear it more than she did before.

"But-"

"But nothing. It's unfair to string him along, both for yourself and for him. By dating him you're making yourself miserable and keeping his hopes up. It's easier to get it over and done with now."

"Maybe," Martha began as an idea formulated in her head, "I should keep dating him and hopefully I'll start to fall in love with him...maybe all this relationship needs is time."

Helen couldn't help but roll her eyes slightly. She looked at Martha with a pained expression. "That is a_ titanic_ idea Martha and you know it."

Martha didn't want to admit it but she did know it. She knew she would never feel anything for David.

"I just think you need more time before you start dating again," Helen said looking deep in thought, "You will find someone, Martha, but not now. What you had with Lew-"

"Don't say it." Martha interrupted, glaring ever so slightly at Helen.

"What you had with _him_ was a big part of your life and you just need time. Spend it with your family...with me," She offered a warm smile, "time is the only healer...that and tea." Helen gave a small grin to which Martha smirked at ever so slightly.

"Okay...I get it...you're right. It doesn't make it any easier though." Martha said with a heavy sigh, "I've never had to break up with someone before...I don't to make him feel like...like I did."

"Love isn't easy," Helen said with a small smile and a slight shrug, "It's the way of life."

Sunday morning felt doomed from the moment Martha woke up. She pushed open the curtains and there she saw rain pouring down heavily and hard with no signs of stopping. She really didn't want to break up with David, she couldn't bear the thought of causing him the same amount of pain that Nixon had put her through and she especially didn't want to break up with him when it was raining. That just felt like double the amount of pain for him.

As soon as she had gotten dressed and tried to eat breakfast (she couldn't quite stomach it), she sat waiting for him. Seconds went by like hours. She contemplated writing him a 'Dear John' letter but that just sounded worse than doing it face to face. She needed to be strong. David deserved that much from her.

When David finally knocked on the door, Martha took a deep breath, plastering a polite smile on her face before opening it.

"Morning...horrible day, isn't it?" David said with a slight smile. Peering over his shoulder, Martha saw that the rain had stopped and had left behind murky grey clouds. Martha couldn't help but think that his day was going to become much more horrible before it was over.

With a rush they were out of the door with Martha listening to David idly and her thoughts occupied how she was meant to bring the break up about. It wasn't really something she could blurt out but it also wasn't something that normally came up in ordinary conversation.

"...but it's just the way it is, you know?" David looked straight at her, catching Martha off guard. She just smiled and nodded which seemed to satisfy him and he went back to talking for a couple of minutes. Then, he turned the conversation on to her.

"I just wanted to say," He began, "I really enjoy spending time with you Martha. I know its early days but... I've never felt like this before." He chuckled ever so slightly, "I...love you Martha."

Martha's heart hammered in her ears. They had stopped walking and now David was just looking at her with those bright blue eyes full of expectation. "That's why I was wondering...I'm going to sound completely crazy but I was wondering..." He searched in his pocket for something while Martha silently prayed it wasn't what she thought it was. "I was wondering if," he kneeled down on to one knee, a small box appearing in his hands, "you would marry me?" He looked hopeful and in that moment Martha felt completely cruel.

"I...can't." She said softly, a pained expression smeared across her face, "I'm so sorry but...I can't..."

David looked crestfallen as he stood up and put the box back in to his pocket, "Don't be sorry...I'm taking it too fast, aren't I?"

"Well...yes," Martha said as nicely as she could, "But that's not the only reason...I don't like you in that way and I don't think I ever will."

Silence hung in the air and Martha wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow her up.

"Oh," Was all that David could say as his eyes stayed glaring at the floor.

"I'm really sorry...I think it's best we just don't see each other for a while...if you want we can still be-"

"No," He shook his head sadly but he tried to smile at her, "It's okay...If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be..."

"I really wish I did like you. You're the sweetest man I've ever met but I just don't feel anything more than friendship towards you." She tried to look at him apologetically and he continued to try and smile.

Awkwardly, they hugged farewell and went their separate ways. Martha felt like she had just grabbed his heart and ripped it away from him. She felt horrible but slightly relieved. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

She should have felt the most alone she had ever felt in a while yet she didn't. She had her mother, her father, her brother and Helen. She wasn't alone anymore. For once, things were finally looking up and for once, it was the truth.


	23. Thoughts of a Nixon VII

Here chapter. Read and review if you wish. Thank you for the reviews and stuff. Sorry it's short and probably filled with mistakes. Enjoy!

_**Me no own nothing. **_

The sun glare through the screen wasn't what awoke Nixon from his doze. Nor was it the jerky, bumpy movements of the train going at a steady sped. Nixon could deal with those things. Those things barely affected him. However, it was the loud chatter and laughter from the soldiers around him that was making him want to smash a goddamn bottle in their faces. Maybe he was just irritable. Then again, he was exhausted beyond belief. It was ironic really. He guessed that the end of the war would bring peace and tranquillity but it had been non-stop movement ever since they declared the news.

A sudden, sharp jolt followed by a roar of laughter forced Lew's eyes to open. Annoyance gripped him but a heavy breath and a sigh calmed him slightly. If he were in the right frame of mind, he would have been laughing and chatting with the best of them. The war was over for God's sake, it was time to celebrate. Except more pressing things were occupying his mind such as returning to normality (whatever that was) and the inevitable moment in which he would have to meet his ex-wife again. He honestly wasn't looking forward to either. Both were foreign and unknown. It scared him a little, how unadjusted to real life he had become. Then he had the whole task of trying to patch things up with Martha...

The pressure of war was beginning to feel miniscule to the pressure he was facing now. It was irony at its worst.

The train rattled noisily, pelting at full speed through whatever state it was going through. Lew wasn't entirely sure but he knew where he was going. He was going home. That word seemed to offer little comfort to him now. It wasn't even his home anymore. It was Lucy's home. It was her house, her furniture, her money.

Nixon had accepted that. However, in his mind anyway, it was still his damn dog.

Strangely he wasn't worried. He felt the pressure, that was sure, but he knew he to do it. He had to talk to Lucy for one last time. He had to apologise and then he could patch things up with Martha. It was all so simple in his mind but he wasn't naive. It would be hard.

Yet, somehow, someway, he felt ready.

"Lewis?"

Lucy stood in the door way, her face contorted in both anger and shock. She stood almost awkwardly, as though she was unsure of how to act. She stared at Nixon with a heavy gaze, trying to regain the confidence that had been knocked out of her once she opened the door. Nixon didn't try to smile or comfort her. Instead he fixed her with a serious look before speaking in a collected voice.

"We need to talk."

The anger drained from her face and she instead continued with the look of shock. She nodded slowly and moved out of the way for him to enter, not uttering a single syllable. He gave a small nod in return and moved past her in to the warmth of what use to be his home. Looking at the expertly painted walls and the top of the range decorations, he never felt more disconnected from what he used to be. He didn't dwell on it. Instead, he placed his duffel underneath the coat rack. He kept his coat on. He wasn't planning on spending more time than he needed to there. He had come there for two main reasons and that was to have closure with Lucy and to collect his things.

And to perhaps say goodbye to _his _dog as well. That wouldn't go a miss.

Lucy brushed past him, walking towards the drawing room. She didn't give Lew a single glance. From what he could tell, Lucy wanted this over and done with as well. He followed her, only giving a couple of glances at the newly decorated features of the house he use to own. From what he could tell, the drawing room hadn't changed much from what it used to be. It's palette of colours were warm and dark. 'Sophisticated elegance' was what Lucy use to call it.

Lucy had taken a seat at the end of the wood polished table that stood in the centre of the room. He felt her gaze linger on him as he sat at the opposite end. Silence engulfed them both, neither wanting to make the first move. Caving, Lucy spoke in a quiet, slightly naive tone.

"What did you want to talk about?"

It was an innocent enough question but Nixon knew Lucy better than most people thought. Lucy knew exactly what he wanted to talk about but she didn't want to bring it up directly. That would be too easy. After all the heartache and pain he put Lucy through, he knew that what she cared about most was her reputation. She didn't want to admit to him having an affair, not really. It was embarrassing, degrading and everything Lucy didn't want to be marked with.

He couldn't help it as his lip curled in to a smile, "Naivety doesn't suit you Lucy. You know exactly what we need to talk about."

Her lips quirked in to something that resembled a smile, albeit a forced one, "Care for a drink?"

"I'd prefer to just get the talking over and done with, neither us wants to be here. I'm here to apologise," The raise of her eyebrows did not go amiss from Nixon's view, "I'm sorry for cheating on you. I'm sorry for not trying. I'm sorry for screwing you over." He looked at her as he spoke. He may not have liked his ex-wife all that much, but he was sorry.

Her features seemed to soften slightly. She didn't say anything, only nodded her head slowly. A couple of minutes slipped by with silence until she spoke up, catching Lewis's eyes as she lifted her head. "I suppose I should apologise too...for what happened to Martha and-"

"Martha?" He interrupted, "What happened to Martha?" He didn't expect Lucy to bring up her name but now he felt himself begin to worry. She wouldn't be saying sorry if it was just about them breaking up. No way would she be apologising. Something else happened.

She blinked slowly, looking slightly surprised. "Well...with the pregnancy and everything. I didn't like her but I didn't want her to have a miscarriage...I only knocked in to her lightly but she just fell and I'm sorry..." She spoke quickly, rambling slightly, becoming increasingly aware of Nixon's silence and fall of expression, "I-I'll go and get your stuff. I put it in suitcases." She left the room before Nixon could speak.

He sat, surrounded by silence. The words were slowly sinking in.

_Martha. Pregnant. Miscarriage. Martha. Pregnant. Miscarriage. Miscarriage. Miscarriage._

He felt like he was physically in pain. The words seem to stab him over and over. Martha was pregnant. Martha was with child. Martha had a miscarriage. Nixon had caused her heartbreak. Martha had her heart broken and her child taken away at the same time.

Nixon could have been a father. Martha would have been a mother. He could see it in his head. He could see how Martha would have been scared and worried, wondering how to break the news to him. He could imagine it all so clearly because it had been real. And he didn't know. He didn't know a damn thing.

Nixon wasn't even aware of how he had walked to the front door so quickly. His body seemed to be moving without his brain. He had one thing he needed to do. See Martha. He could barely hear Lucy speaking, all he could see was her mouth opening and closing. He ignored her – he couldn't have listened to her if he tried his hardest. He took the suitcases she was carrying, not uttering a single word. He didn't care what was in them. He just had to get to Aldbourne, as quickly as he could.

He had to fix things, by any means possible.


	24. Last Chance Letters

Here it is; the penultimate chapter. The next chapter shall be the last and thus this story shall be complete. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or story alerted or just read this story. I hope you all enjoy this long-ish chapter and I'll see you soon with the final chapter!

**I own nothing but my little creations.**

"No, no! A little to the left...ah, not quite, just a smidgen up a bit-"

It took almost all self control for Martha not to lash out at her dearest friend. She had to constantly remind herself that Helen was her best friend and that it was understandable that she wanted everything to be perfect for William's return...even if perfect meant having to move banners until they were flawlessly straight. Martha wouldn't have minded as much if Helen actually decided to physically help her move the banner, it was more the fact Helen was sitting back and dictating how Martha should move it. None the less, she kept her lips sealed shut. The last thing she needed to do was wind up an already stressed out Helen.

If she did that she wouldn't be surprised if Helen burst in to tears...or exploded.

Helen's shrill cry made Martha stop moving the banner almost immediately, "Yes! There, perfect..." Martha mentally sighed in relief as she pinned the banner against the wall for what was hopefully the last time.

Stepping down from the chair, Martha flashed Helen a warming smile in slight hopes to calm her down, if only for five minutes or so. Martha desperately needed a break from the madness. Helen seemed content which gave Martha the chance to sit back on the arm chair and look at her handiwork. Banners lined the living room, each with a loving welcoming message. Varieties of streamers and decorations were also lavishly splashed across the room, the colours standing bold against the normal backdrop. Helen had really put all her loving effort in to the welcome home party. Martha wouldn't expect anything else from her; when it came to William, only the best would be suitable in Helen's eyes.

"Happy?" Martha lightly asked, her eyes looking over at Helen reclining on the sofa with her eyes shut. A small smile crept on to Helen's face as she contemplated an answer.

"Yes...why shouldn't I be? The war is over, my husband is coming home uninjured and I have a my best friend helping me throw a welcome home party...Life is quite well at the moment."

Martha grinned brightly at Helen's answer and couldn't help but agree, to some extent anyway. Life was quite well. Perhaps a bit dull at parts but still, she wouldn't change it. Stealing a glance at the clock, Martha looked over a Helen with a smile, "Six hours to go...excited? Scared?"

"Oh," Helen laughed softly, her eyes opening wearily, "You have no idea."

An explosion of cheers and clapping came from Helen's usually modest living room as William made his entrance in to the roomful of people. He only managed to give a large grin before Helen launched herself at him, her arms wrapping life a vice around his shoulders. He lifted her from the waist and spun her around. It was like watching a scene from a Hollywood movie, to which Martha smiled at. They stayed embracing as everyone else continued clapping and looked in awe at them.

Finally, Helen allowed her husband to breathe, stepping back to let him greet everyone else who had come to welcome him home. She watched, delicately wiping her eyes of the happy tears that had formed. Martha walked over to her and gently squeezed her arm, an almost permanent smile on her face. Helen nodded at in reassurance, a megawatt grin plastered on her face.

Both stood back and watched as William made the rounds, shaking hands and giving hugs where they were wanted. Martha was immensely happy because it truly felt like the War was over now. Soldiers were coming home now, back where they belonged. She had health, happiness, family and friends. She felt like she could honestly move on with her life now. It was a refreshing feeling.

The party slipped by effortlessly. It had a warm, friendly atmosphere to it which just made Martha relax. Helen spent most of the time hanging off William's arm, occasioning whispering a few words in to his ear which Martha could only guess were words laced with love. Or seduction. Or both.

William seemed happy, or at least he did when Martha managed to talk to him briefly. Helen was in the kitchen getting more food and drink when Martha managed to get a couple of words from William.

"Welcome home!" She greeted with a smile to which William nodded almost graciously.

"It's good to be home," Willaim said with sincere honesty, "I have to thank you Martha, for keeping Helen company while I was away-"

"No need to thank me, I was doing what a friend was suppose to." Martha interrupted with a firm nod.

William chuckled lightly, before being swept away by Helen to chat to some other people.

Martha spent the majority of her time watching and observing from the background. Thehappiness that beamed from the room was a sight to see. So when the doorbell sounded and no one appeared to want to interrupt the fun, Martha thought she might as well go and let the guest in. She wasn't doing anything anyway.

She moved out of the crowded room and in to the deserted hallway, heading from the front door. With a smile fixed in place, she opened the door ready to great the latecomer to the party.

"Welcome to the-"Her words trailed off abruptly and her smile fell from her face immediately. She felt her stomach plummet, and her heart beat hammer in her ears.

Lewis Nixon stood in front of her with a stoic look on his face. Martha couldn't find her voice but she could feel raw fury build up inside of her. She wasn't sad or upset; she was furious. Just looking at his face made her want to scream. She made a move to close the door but Nixon's hand pushed the door back with force.

"Just one chat, that's all I'm asking for...one chat." Martha could see he was pleading but she didn't want this. Not anymore. She was ready to move on, why couldn't he just let her move on?

"I told you not to come here," Martha finally spoke, her voice cold, "I _specifically _said not to visit me again, you don't deserve one chat, you don't deserve a syllable from me; I don't want to speak with you _ever _again." Martha went to close the door again but Nixon stepped partially in to the house, blocking her attempts.

"I don't deserve anything from you, I don't deserve to have you speaking to me now but I'm begging. _Please._" Nixon was completely serious, his eyes looking at Martha's with such intensity, "Please." He repeated.

Martha felt as if she were being pulled in two opposite direction. She partly wanted to slam the door in his face and make him suffer but the other part wanted to hear what he had to say. She knew the story and she knew there was no way it could be a misunderstanding. She wasn't sure if she could actually stomach his side of the story. Yet, somehow, she moved out of the way to let him in.

A muttered a thank you passed Nixon's lips as he brushed past her. He waited for her to shut the door and watched as she began to walk upstairs. She turned back to look at him, as he stayed still on the spot, "Upstairs. Then we don't have to disturb the party..." She offered an explanation albeit half-heartedly.

Nixon nodded lightly and followed her upstairs, trying to formulate a conversation starter in his head. He hadn't come up with one since he left America and that had been a fair few days ago. He followed Martha in to what he presumed was Helen's bedroom. He shut the door behind him as Martha sat at the vanity table, turning to look at him. He couldn't see any other seats so he remained standing, as the words scrambled to devise in his mind.

"I want to apologize. I'm sorry for what I put you through; you in no way deserved that. I really am sorry." He lightly winced at his words, aware of how...stupid they sounded.

Martha couldn't help the bitter laugh that escaped her. It sounded faked, forced and in some ways it was but it just escaped her. The laughter continued, little spurts of giggles following on from each other. Martha knew she looked and sounded hysterical but she couldn't help it. Slowly, she began to regain her composure, looking up at a slightly worried looking Nixon.

"Sorry...sorry," She said breathlessly but with a smile, "It's just...hilarious..." She shook her head slightly, anger slowly pulsating through her veins, "You're sorry. Congratulations! Well done! All forgiven! You're _sorry_? Really sorry? Well that makes everything better Lew! Every tear, every piece of my shatter heart, every bit of my lost sanity – all okay now!" The humour was completely lost. She glared at Nixon with anger she had never felt before. She stood, moving closer towards him, "How dare you come here after I told you not to. Do you know how broken I've been? How, lost and fragile? I had never felt so distraught and so little before! All those months of confidence and happiness were completely torn apart...why did you come back, Lew? Why? Haven't you hurt me enough? I was feeling really good today. I thought maybe I could move on, maybe I could just start living again but...you just had to come back didn't you? I don't care about your guilty conscience...you shouldn't have come here!" Her hands were balled up in to tight fists at her sides. The anger was slowly passing and sadness was trailing behind it. She didn't want to cry. She had done that enough.

"I know you don't want to hear it but I have to say it because I've realised a lot of things lately," Nixon's voice was quiet, low but it had a vulnerability laced with it that made Martha listen "I don't want to back to the states to be with Lucy and I don't want to go alone. I don't want to go anywhere unless it's with you," He held her fists, looking straight in to her eyes; "I love you. I fucked it up before and I'm going to fuck up again, I promise I'll do anything to make it up to you, anything-"

She pulled her hands away from him and turned away in disgust, "Promises? I don't want your promises and I don't care if you love me because I don't want to love you!" Martha's voice became quieter and wavered as she slowly turned to look at Lew, "Why do I?" She paused, feeling like she breaking again.

Nixon released a heavy sigh, "Why do you what?" He asked softly, as he saw her lip tremble.

She took a deep, shuddering breath, "Why do I still love you? I hate you, I really do but I still...love you. I don't want to...not after what you put me through...not after the...no..." She sat down on the edge of the bed and slowly sank in to the mattress, "Why did you do it? Why did you date me if you were married? Was I just a game?"

"No," He said quickly, firmly, "No...It was stupid but...I know my marriage was failing. We didn't care for each other, I didn't love Lucy, I never did...then I met you and I just felt something. I didn't know it was going to get serious...I just loved you. I still love you. I sent a letter to divorce Lucy but-"

"The letters got mixed up. Lucy got mine. I never got Lucy's." Martha spoke monotonously. She felt the bed dip beside her, where Nixon sat.

"I hate myself for what I did to you...and Lucy...I...Lucy told me. About what happened," Martha turned to look at Nixon as he explained, "...the baby. I fucked up so badly."

Martha flinched slightly at the mention of the baby...she had managed to keep that off her mind for months.

"It was going to be perfect...well, as perfect as it could be during a War," Martha said quietly, barely above a whisper, "Husband...a child...both dreams crushed in a day...you broke me Nixon...I'll never forgive you for that...but I might be able to for what else happened. It doesn't look likely, but maybe some day...I would like you to leave now."

Nixon nodded slowly in response and stood up. Just as he was about to leave, he turned back to look at Martha, "I'll make it up to you...somehow, I will..." He left before Martha could reply.

She sat in the room, covered in silence, just looking at where Nixon last stood. She felt tired, exhausted and drained. She had no idea what to do, she couldn't think properly. So she just stayed sitting, occasionally hearing a stray laugh or cheer from downstairs. She sat, wondering and waiting what would happen next.

Somehow she had gotten home in one piece, even managing to string together a coherent goodbye to Helen and William. When she woke the next morning, it took her a few moments to wonder why there was a sinking feeling in her stomach and why she still felt tired. Then it all hit her.

Nixon.

The bastard. With a heavy sigh, she prepared to bare a brave mask for the day. She wasn't going to let Nixon knock her back. It was going to be okay. It would take time, but she was getting there. She would become a better person because of it, she was sure. She kept repeating it in her head but the dull ache in her chest told her differently. She wished she hated Nixon. She truly did. It would make moving on easier.

No, she still loved him, for some unknown reason.

Martha moved away from her bed and get ready for the oncoming day. She thought of maybe going for a walk, to clear her head. It would also mean not getting cornered by her parents or her brother, who were sure to see through her facade and question her about it. She was just a bit...shaken from it. At least it she wouldn't have to go through it again. Or, at least she hoped.

A part of her hoped Nixon would just leave her alone and let her move on but the other part of her didn't want to let go. He had literally torn her apart but her heart still had a place for him. It annoyed her more than anything. It was because of Nixon she had been practically brain dead for months, it was because of Nixon she had been stuck in a shell of self loathing and hate and it was because of Nixon she hadn't of felt anything for David.

Another sigh escaped Martha as she dressed herself. She just wished that something would happen, something that would just solve everything. Even she knew that was useless though. She made her way downstairs and out the door in a matter of minutes. Soon she was walking through the small twists and turns of Aldbourne, smiling slightly at the fresh air.

Martha's thoughts seem to relax at the feeling of open air around her. She sat down on one of the park benches and watched as Aldbourne awoke. She saw people going about, doing things and just living. Martha admired that for some reason and slowly, she felt as though she may be able to do that now. She hoped anyway. It was nice and calming. All of that changed though when she saw Lew sit down beside her.

At least her stomach didn't drop and she didn't see red flash before her eyes. The anger coursing through her veins wasn't as furious as the night before. She loudly sighed before speaking.

"What do you want Lew?" She asked, not bothering to look at him. He didn't deserve it.

"I want to...ask you something." He sounded nervous which confused Martha. What did he have to be nervous about?

She turned to look at him, trying to uncover what he wanted to ask from his look. She couldn't tell but he looked tired. Did he have those heavy bags hanging under his eyes yesterday? Martha couldn't remember. She frowned slightly. He looked haggard, ill even. Although Martha wouldn't admit it, she was worried by it. She knew she wanted him to feel bad, she thought she wanted him to go through hell but they way he looked...it worried her. It didn't give her any peace of mind.

"What about?" She asked in a softer tone than before.

If Lew recognised her change in expression, he didn't give it away. He seemed distracted by his own thoughts. He looked up, in to Martha's eyes.

"I...I know you're going to say no and I understand completely but please...please think about it. Could we...could we start over again?" He seemed to flinch slightly as he spoke those words.

Silence hung heavy as Martha was unsure of how to act. She was torn. A part of her brain screamed yes, she would love to start over again. She would love to go back to how it was before. She would love for their relationship to begin again without the lies...but the rational part of her said no. It had happened and therefore it couldn't just be erased and forgotten. It would be there, hanging in the background, lurking. They couldn't just pretend it never happened.

Her heart urged her to smile and nod but her brain firmly disagreed.

"I..." She mumbled as her heart and her mind fought, "I...I don't think so..."

Once those words were uttered from her mouth, she didn't know what to do. She still felt like she was being torn apart and she didn't want to hear Lew try and persuade her. She went with her mind and her mind was smart and therefore it had to be the right choice.

The ache in her heart seemed to disagree.

Without a word, she stood and walked away. Nixon made no attempt to stop her which made Martha thankful.

She walked away, her mind congratulating her which should have made her happy. The emptiness and pain in her heart didn't. She sighed once again, hoping that closure would come soon. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take.

The letter shouldn't have fazed Martha as much as it did but there she was, standing by the front door holding a cream envelope in her hands with a million thoughts rushing through her mind. She should have guessed Lew would have done something like this. She knew it was from Lew just from the way he wrote her name. She couldn't help running her finger across her name, like she use to do. She didn't know why it had shocked her so much but she just couldn't seem to move from the spot she was standing in.

Slowly, she turned the envelope over and carefully began to peel it open. She had no idea what the letter would contain, another apology or a goodbye? None of those seemed to appease her heart or calm her thoughts. Gradually she pulled the letter away from its casing and opened it, her heart hammering against her chest. With a deep breath, she began to read.

_Dear Martha, _

_First I want to thank you for reading this letter. This will be the last time I will contact you if you wish it to be. This will also be the hardest letter I will every write. I want to apology again and again but I know it won't change anything so instead, I'm going to tell you and explain some things._

_When I first met you, I didn't expect to fall in love. When I met you I was a soldier looking for a pretty girl to have a good time with before I left to fight. I saw you at the bar looking upset and alone so I just thought I would go over and try my luck. I had seen you earlier that day and when I grinned at you, you blushed. I thought it was cute and something about it just made me want to speak to you. You just drew me in and not many people do that. I guess I should have realised then how special you were._

_The moment I thought there could be something between us was when you walked away from me. You were confident and flirty, completely the opposite of what I thought you were before. When I started to know you better, I knew I wouldn't be able to have a fling or anything like that with you. At the time, I wasn't thinking about the consequences. I was just thinking of how quickly I was falling for you. I was stupid but I will never be ashamed of what I felt for you or what I feel for you now. _

_I've never loved or admired someone as much as you, even now. I never deserved you but thank you for allowing me to have you in my life. If this is goodbye, than thank you for the time you spent with me. It was some of the best moments of my life. _

_I promise, whether or not there still is a chance for us, to never treat you as horribly as I did before. I promise to never to lie to you again. _

_I'll be at the pub tonight and if you feel there is even a slightest chance of us being together again than please come. I promise to try my hardest to treat you the best I could ever treat a person. If not, than good bye and I hope you live the happiest life as you deserve._

_Love, yours always,_

_Lewis Nixon_

Folding the letter, she placed it back in its envelope and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She glanced at her coat and then to the clock hanging in the hallway. It was six O'clock in the evening meaning she only had a few hours to decide.

Silently she stood but her brain was loud with thoughts.

It was time to decide.

The pub was fairly crowded, with its atmosphere alive and loud with post War cheer. Nixon stood at the bar, nursing his Vat 69. It was ten O'clock and he had been there for five hours. He hadn't moved from the spot, worried that Martha would turn up and he wouldn't be around. That would be more horrific than her not turning up at all. He hoped she would turn up but the sinking feeling in his stomach told him otherwise.

He couldn't stop looking at the clock, counting every minute that slipped by. It was like a countdown to his failure. He wanted more than anything to stay in England and beg Martha to take him back but he knew that wouldn't be fair to her. He did truly want the best for her and he had shown that he wasn't the best.

Still, he hoped. It was all he had after all. He sipped his drink slowly, looking at the other bottles that lined the wall. He began to wonder if there was any point in staying any longer. Maybe this was it. His stomach lurched in uncertainty.

"You sure look miserable; it's not the best look for man."

He put his drink down immediately as his heart hammered against his chest. He turned and looked at Martha who was standing beside him with a small smile. She turned to the barman and ordered a drink as Lew looked at her with shock. She turned back to him and smirked ever so slightly at his expression. He broke out in a smile, not sure of what to say.

"You're...you're here!" He knew it sounded stupid but he couldn't help but say it. She nodded in response still with a smile.

"Yes, I am. We're going to start over again. Start fresh and take it slow. I can't just forget what's happened but I'm prepared to work on...this." She spoke clearly, as though she had thought carefully about what to say. At that moment Lew would have agreed to anything she wanted.

"That's perfect," Lew said as he enthusiastically nodded, "thank you..."

She smiled almost shyly before speaking again, "So...what did you do in the war?" She asked with a slightly playful expression to which Lew grinned at. He knew what she was playing.

"Well, I was an intelligence officer. I know everything." He said with a smile still playing on his lips.

"Then what's my name?" She asked as they both smiled at each other, remembering how they first met.

"Everything except that...maybe you could tell me?" Nixon said the words as if it was a script. He felt inhumanly happy.

"But you're an intelligence officer," She said with a slow forming grin, "you know everything."

For the first time in months, Martha felt that maybe everything would turn out okay. She was prepared to work at it. She may not trust Lew completely but she trusted him to try and do the right thing. She had faith in both of them. They were older and hopefully wiser.

Everything would turn out okay, it would just take time.


	25. Epilogue

The sun seemed to kiss her skin as Martha stood out in the early hours of a new day. A hazy smile was presented on her face, as she watched the sun float amongst the clouds. Resting her arms on top of the wooden fence surrounding the porch, she looked up at the sky admiring its beauty still. It definitely wasn't Aldbourne but it was the next best thing. New Jersey was her home now and while her heart still firmly belonged in England, Martha couldn't help but be swept up in the glamour and dream of America. It was a part of her now, her new home.

Five years had long since passed since the end of the war and of course, the beginning of the revaluation of her and Lew's relationship. Her life had changed in more ways than she could have imagined. Their relationship had been tested and they had their ups and their downs, there was no denying that. Yet, it all came together in the end. Those troubles and problems, the cracks in the foundations just didn't matter anymore. Before it had been a relationship undertaken in the midst of a war, a relationship with lies and a lack of trust but ultimately, it helped. Their relationship now was mature, more trusting and more rewarding than every comprehended before.

Yes, at lot had changed and now, Martha was constantly in a daze of contentment.

A crack on the wooden boards behind alerted her of Lew's presence. She smiled against his touch as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close towards him. His hands came to rest on top of hers, his fingers tracing over both the engagement ring resting on her finger for three years and the wedding ring that had been placed on her finger for two years. His rested his chin on her shoulder, his cheek pressed against her ear.

No words were spoken between them; instead they listened to sounds that occupied the early mornings. The birds that sang were idyllic, as was the soft wind that breezed past. It felt like some elaborate fairytale, the perfection of it was astounding to Martha's mind yet she didn't question it. It felt right. It felt like home.

"Morning," Lew's soft voice murmured against her cheek as he carefully placed a kiss upon it, his fingers running up her arms and falling down to the swell of her stomach, "Feeling okay?"

Placing her fingers on top of his, she nodded softly, "Perfect, as is the little one, "She smiled tenderly as she moved around to face her husband, her hands trailing up to his shoulders, "You?"

Lew kissed her delicately on the lips before nodding in agreement with her, "Perfect."

Being in Lew's arms was where Martha felt she belonged. It felt right. The marriage, the home, and the baby on the way...it felt complete.

Life hadn't always been easy but it all came together in the end and Martha wouldn't have traded anything for what she had now. She would love Lewis Nixon until the day she died and because of that, she felt happy.

Martha was always the one that was never noticed, that was until Nixon arrived and stayed in her life, forever and always.

And thus, this is the end. I just want to give a huge thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed and alerted this story as otherwise I wouldn't have written it. Also thank you to the whole Band of Brothers fandom, all of you are so welcoming and kind. I hope you enjoyed the ride and I'll hopefully see you with a new story in tow in the summer.

Farewell and goodnight.


End file.
